Tales From The Crypt “Carrion Death”

My ex-wife used to watch Sex and the City all the time, so I am somewhat used to seeing Kyle MacLachlan come to an unfortunate end on an HBO show.

This time, it’s a bit more literal.

Earl Raymond Diggs (MacLachlan) is a murderer, freshly escaped from prison where he killed his way out, and he even shoots and kills a bank security guard in the opening minutes of the episode as he escapes the bank.  He is, without a doubt, a bad dude.  But now he has a couple bags of money, a car, and a path to Mexico and freedom because I guess the United States doesn’t have an extradition treaty with Mexico.  I would think we should, but I don’t know these things.  I am also far too lazy to look it up right now.

But there’s this cop, a nameless guy on a motorcycle, and he’s like some not-giving-up-law-guy.  He’s following.  There’s shooting!  The cop goes over a cliff!  The motorcycle, now without a driver, collides with the car and causes both to explode as Diggs dives to safety.  It’s enough to cause a vulture to start following Diggs around,  Diggs ain’t dead, but he is out of ammo.

And the cop, he ain’t dead!  He follows!  The vulture even offers the cop assistance by pointing him in the right direction!  That’s a good vulture!

But Diggs is good at killing, so when the cop finally catches up and they have a fistfight, almost over when the cop slaps the cuffs on Diggs, Diggs uses the cop’s own gun to shoot the cop, using the last bullet.  And the cop?  He swallows the handcuff key before he dies.

Now, can Diggs, probably the most deserving bad guy the series has produced yet–seriously, this guy has it comin’–drag a dead cop to Mexico?  Eh, not quite.  Can he falls down a kill and decide to use a makeshift hatchet to cut the cuff off, miss, and severe his own hand?

Oh yeah, he can do that!

And when he falls down the cliff again, he breaks a lot of bones and can’t move, so he’s still alive when that vulture, now a puppet, eats his eyeballs, also out of a puppet.

Yeah, this guy had it comin’.

What about the Cryptkeeper?  He’s a motorcycle cop this time.  He even rode in on a mini-bike.

Notable Names:  There’s MacLachlan, and writer/director Steven E de Souza has an action movie resume as long as your arm.