Here’s an episode dated in an unusual way. There’s these conjoined twins, joined at the hip, played by twin brothers Timothy and Jonathan Stack, but when they say what they are…well, they don’t say “conjoined.”
Meet Frank and Eddie. Frank is a nice guy who likes reading and going to the symphony. Eddie is crass and crude, and he prefers bars, drinking, and apparently hiring prostitutes. One day while out bar hopping, Frank meets Marie, a cute woman who also likes reading and going to the symphony.
Oh, this is going to end badly, isn’t it?
Anyway, Eddie and Frank are conjoined, something that scares women off, but there’s this shady-lookin’ doctor offering to separate them in an operation with a 50% chance of killing one or both of the brothers. All Frank has to do is sign the release form. He just doesn’t want to risk it. But then Marie calls, the two start dating, and Frank even proposes. Eddie…um, he’s being awful. He won’t clean up. He makes crude comments to other symphony-goers. He gets drunk, which affects Frank too. He brings a dominatrix over while Frank is proposing. Wow, Eddie is the worst.
Wait, why is that dominatrix talking to Marie like they’re both prostitutes?
Oh, there’s the twist: Eddie hired Marie to get Frank to sign the release. That comes out after the brothers have a fistfight, the highlight of the episode, but Marie fell for Frank and wants to marry him, enough to say the operation is too dangerous so he can stay conjoined to Eddie.
Eddie doesn’t like that and kills Marie with a butcher’s knife to the back. Boo!
Eddie is pretty confident here. He knows the state can’t punish him without punishing the innocent Frank. Eddie even confesses to the 911 operator. He has to call 911 when Frank takes a bunch of sleeping pills.
And then Eddie gets arrested because Frank agreed to the surgery while Eddie was asleep. Frank won’t be punished.
Wait, why is he talking to that nurse the same way Eddie talked to the symphony patrons? Boo!
What about the Cryptkeeper? He’s looking at himself in the mirror…until he breaks it with a mallet.
Notable Names: Marie is played by Jessica Harper, who was the lead actress in the original Suspiria.
More Stories
Weekend Trek “Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum”
Weekend Trek “Magic To Make The Sanest Man Go Mad”
Paradise “The Mailman”