Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen “Last Night Of Freedom”

Our heroine has come to the conclusion that she is cursed.  There’s not much more that she can do about it.  She accepted a wedding proposal, and if that guy is not her soulmate and she doesn’t marry him by midnight on Sunday, she will die of a nasty hemmorhage.

Well, that stinks.

Well, maybe not.  Rachel can always take Nell, the one member of the family that seems normal and likes her, I think, and go break into the county hall of records and see if any of her other relatives survived their wedding night.  And…it looks like none of ’em did.  Some members of her family procreated without getting married, so that’s why she exists, but everyone dies on their wedding night.

Except for one aunt who lived over 50 years after her wedding.

Wow.  There’s…one.  What did that woman do?  How can Rachel ask?

Well, Portia is doing that traditional bachelorette party thing of the homemade Ouija board which…

OK, Portia as a character really bugs me more than most.  Julian is an asshole, but he’s a well-meaning asshole, one who actually is showing people he cares but in a messed up way that doesn’t really work.  Nicky is a naive fool, as proven by the end of this episode.  Victoria and Boris…yeah, I don’t get much out of them one way or the other.  Nell is mostly a cynic.  But Portia?  She acts like a child, has really unrealistic expectations for all kinds of things, and she has that really high-pitched voice.  Now, that could be the actress’s legitimate voice.  I don’t know.  It mostly comes down to the combination of that voice and what she ends up saying.  So, the high-pitched voice combined with the whining and the juvenile antics really make her a particularly obnoxious character, and I have no idea why anyone let her plan the bachelorette party.  Or, for that matter, who the other nameless guests there were.  Friends of hers, I presume.

So, when she does her little spirit-board thing, and Rachel asks her dead aunt some very specific questions, she gets an answer all right.  It makes no sense, but she gets an answer.  The full answer comes with a possessed Portia interrupts Rachel’s quality make-out time with Nell(!) to say Rachel needs something living, something dead, something stolen, and something red.

Um, what?

OK, for the record, I don’t love this mini-series or anything, but it is just batspit insane enough for me to be generally pleased with whatever is happening.  And that’s not even getting into the fox-hunting subplot involving Nicky, Julian, and Boris, or how Victoria, when asked by Nicky why she never told him that she cheated on Boris, she tells him it was none of his business because, you know what?, it isn’t.

Maybe Rachel is right not to think of him as a soulmate.  He seems like a weenie.