Going Through X-Men: The Animated Series Part 22

Colossus and Kitty have had three major romantic cycles in Marvel Comics, marked by distinct breakups and subsequent reunions. 

1. The Early Years (1980s)

• The Start: Their relationship began shortly after Kitty joined the X-Men at age 13.5. While they shared an early mutual attraction, their romance was often complicated by Kitty’s age and Peter’s hesitation.
• The Breakup: In the original Secret Wars(1984), Colossus fell in love with an alien healer named Zsaji. Upon returning to Earth, he broke up with Kitty in Uncanny X-Men#183, leaving her devastated.
• The Gap: They remained friends for nearly two real-world decades. During this time, they were teammates in Excalibur, but Kitty dated others, most notably Pete Wisdom.

2. The Whedon Era (2004–2012)

• The Reunion: In Joss Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men #4, Kitty discovered that Colossus—previously believed dead—was alive and being held captive. They officially rekindled their romance in issue #14.
• The Breakup: Their relationship was repeatedly strained by traumatic events. First, Kitty was trapped in a giant bullet hurtling through space for years. After her return, they struggled to reconnect, and the relationship finally ended when Colossus became the avatar of the Juggernaut, feeling he was too dangerous to be with her.

3. The X-Men Gold Era (2017–2018)

• The Reunion: Kitty and Piotr reunited once more in X-Men Gold, eventually becoming engaged.
• The Final Breakup: In X-Men Gold #30 (the “Wedding of the Century”), Kitty got cold feet at the altar and called off the marriage. While they initially tried to remain a couple, they eventually parted ways.

Since 2019 and the start of the Krakoa era, the two have not been romantically paired, and Kitty has explored other relationships.

tomk:  I’ll say. Kitty has a girlfriend in Exceptional X-Men.

jimmy:  Does she now?  Interesting.

tomk:  Well, one date at least.

jimmy:  One’s all it takes.

tomk:  Kitty and Peter probably shouldn’t happen anyway. The only times they become a permanent couple are disastrous alternate futures. Otherwise, they are basically high school sweethearts who don’t really have much in common.

jimmy:  Disastrous alternate futures. Plural. How many of them could there be?

tomk:  You read the Secret Wars Days of Future Past.

Though Age of Apocalypse was technically an alternate present.

jimmy:  

tomk:  Well, duh.

jimmy:  But this has little to do with Cain Marko being a jerk with or without powers.

tomk:  Or how some dork gets the Juggernaut’s powers but still needs glasses.

jimmy:  Nothing can stop macular degeneration.

tomk:  Everything got stronger…except his vision.

jimmy:  And his coolness.

tomk:  That’s not a physical attribute.

jimmy:  Like the Juggernaut suit?

tomk:  That’s attire, not attribute.

jimmy:  That magically appears?

tomk:  That’s nothing:  did the nerd’s armor that he didn’t wear when he went out disappear when Cain called the power back?

jimmy:  Yes.

tomk:  That’s too bad.  He could have sold it on eBay.

jimmy:  He can sell that suit that’s now 8 times too big.

tomk:  To whom?

jimmy:  Hulk?  Abomination?  Original recipe Juggernaut?

tomk:  Well, if they wanna dress like something out of Saturday Night Fever.

jimmy:  They might.

tomk:  Would you?

jimmy:  Yes.

tomk:  Well, have I got a deal for you!

jimmy:  I need to find the gem of Cytorrak first. Which might be tough now.

tomk:  What about the Diamond of Degorgomite?

jimmy:  I don’t know what that is.

tomk:  Exactly. You might get some impressive magical powers.

jimmy:  Bring it on then!

tomk:  First you gotta find the magic gem.

jimmy:  Where is it?

tomk:  At the end of a long, grueling quest.

And it gets worse from there. There is always a wrong to your right, and there will always be a war somewhere to fight. God knows you’ll have some rough fucking years. The lesson is you just keep on keeping on.

jimmy:  Oh Lord!

tomk:  You still want those magical superpowers?

jimmy:  Of course.

tomk:  Ok, you now have the magical ability to talk to quadrupeds.

jimmy:  Is that, like, kangaroos?

tomk:  Sometimes.

jimmy:  Interesting.

tomk:  Good thing too. They’re threatening war unless someone can negotiate a peace deal. Apparently, someone just showed them Kangaroo Jack.

jimmy:  I’d declare war too.

tomk:  Then you’re the perfect negotiator

jimmy:  

tomk:  I’m not sure it’s going well.

jimmy:  They’re tough but fair.

tomk:  Well, I never questioned their toughness.

jimmy:  I hope they don’t do that to me.

tomk:  Better get them that eucalyptus…though I thought pandas ate that stuff.

Editor’s Note:  Tom got pandas mixed up with koalas somehow.  Pandas eat bamboo.

jimmy:  I don’t know. I’m not a kangaroo.

tomk:  That is true. You’re also not the Juggernaut.

jimmy:  I am not. And neither is that other guy.

tomk:  He saved a girl he liked in the end. Sort of.

jimmy:  That won’t last.

tomk:  How do I know this episode isn’t a dramatization of how you met the Ms?

jimmy:  It came out like 15 years before I did?

tomk:  You came out?

jimmy:  No. Before I met the Ms.

tomk:  Ok.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

jimmy:  No. Of course not.

tomk:  There’s plenty wrong with becoming a living engine of destruction.

jimmy:  Yes. Of course.

tomk:  You’d have to replace your entire wardrobe.  Probably get a new car.

jimmy:  Being pure evil is expensive.

tomk:  Or just being the embodiment of destruction is expensive.

jimmy:  That too.

tomk:  Or you can just scoot around in a sedan that looks like a bumper car.

jimmy:  Can I use it as a bumper car?

tomk:  As the living embodiment of destruction, you are the bumper car.

jimmy:  Sounds expensive.

tomk:  We mentioned that.

jimmy:  We did.

tomk:  You would be better off as the living embodiment of the guy who gets free pizza and beer.

jimmy:  How do I find that gem?

tomk:  You’re sitting on it. Here’s your pizza and beer.

jimmy:  Woohoo!

tomk:  Yup. Lite beer and veggie lovers pizza.

jimmy:  Can I add my own toppings?

tomk:  That’s a different gem. You get random toppings.

jimmy:  Risky. But free is free.

tomk:  Sure. This one has pineapple.

jimmy:  …

I can pick that off.

tomk:  Give it to someone you hate.

jimmy:  Oh Watson!

tomk:  What if he likes it?

jimmy:  He would.

tomk:  Then he’d spend more time with you.

jimmy:  Having superpowers is hard.

tomk:  Just ask Spider-Man.

jimmy:  I wish I could.

tomk:  But he’s right there.

jimmy:  Behind that hay bale with Nick Fury?

tomk:  No, he’s in your office, helping himself to your donut stash.

jimmy:  Oh that Spider-Man!

tomk:  I got some pictures.  I was gonna sell them to the Daily Bugle.

jimmy:  Jameson would love that. Spidey stealing.

tomk:  But someone left a sign next to the stash that says “Free donuts!”

jimmy:  “Someone.”

tomk:  It was Gambit.

jimmy:  Gambit. I knew it was him. Even when it was Watson, I knew it was him.

tomk:  He’s all cocky since Jim Lee drew him again.

jimmy:  Jim Lee does draw good.

tomk:  He drew you in the break room.

jimmy:  I bet it was good.

tomk:  Well, you either are wearing a half-shirt or you are very fat in this picture.

jimmy:  Or both.

tomk:  Well, it isn’t flattering.

jimmy:  Jim Lee!!

tomk:  That’s the only flattering part.

jimmy:  Bring in Todd McFarlane.

tomk:  Does he still draw?

jimmy:  Rarely. But given the release schedule of Hush 2, you could say the same about Jim Lee.

tomk:  Jim Lee drew a story for Superman/Spider-Man.

jimmy:  He started that in 2017.

tomk:  That explains why it’s the Lois Lane/MJ Watson story.  Spidey and MJ were probably a couple in 2017.

jimmy:  He just started the 2049 X-Men/Justice League crossover.

tomk:  I know.  I wrote the script for it.

jimmy:  Nice. Did you write the next episode?

tomk:  No.

I was too busy penning a forensics exam scene between Batman and Beast.

jimmy:  I look forward to it.

tomk:  Yup.  In 2049.

jimmy:  We’ll have to pass the time with more episodes.

tomk:  Maybe they’ll bring back another seemingly unstoppable bad guy.

jimmy:  Aren’t they all?  Until they’re not.

tomk:  Well, it could be the first appearance of a seemingly unstoppable bad guy.

jimmy:  We should find out who?

tomk:  Should we?

jimmy:  We should.

tomk:  You demanded it.

“A Deal with the Devil”

Wolverine and Storm have a most unfortunate team-up.

jimmy:  Omega Red couldn’t be trusted…what a plot twist!

tomk:  Rogue can’t breathe underwater either.

jimmy:  Another plot twist!  They should have called Namor.

tomk:  They did.  He said no.

jimmy:  That’s so Namor.

tomk:  Aquaman would have said yes.

jimmy:  That’s because Jason Mamoa is awesome.

tomk:  Who could say no to those beautiful eyes?

jimmy:  Not me.

tomk:  He could have saved that sub.

jimmy:  Indeed.  I want to know who okayed the plan to give the indestructible super villain full access to a nuclear sub?

tomk:  It was Watson.

jimmy:  Figures.

tomk:  He was trying to prove that communism was just a red herring.

jimmy:  They’d have been better off listening to the Canadian.

tomk:  You?

jimmy:  Oh no, not me.

tomk:  Which Canadian then?

jimmy:  Not me.

tomk:  He could have saved that sub.

jimmy:  Indeed.  I want to know who okayed the plan to give the indestructible super villain full access to a nuclear sub?

tomk:  It was Watson.

jimmy:  Figures.

tomk:  He was trying to prove that communism was just a red herring.

jimmy:  They’d have been better off listening to the Canadian.

tomk:  You?

jimmy:  Oh no, not me.

tomk:  Which Canadian then?

jimmy:  Not Deadpool.

tomk:  No one should listen to Deadpool.

jimmy:  He’d also be a bad choice to give a nuclear sub to.

tomk:  Who would you give a sub to?

jimmy:  Hmm. I dunno. Maybe they should have just left well enough alone.

tomk:  You’re right. We should just leave nuclear subs sitting on the bottom of the ocean with all their warheads intact.

jimmy:  You’d rather give it to Omega Red?

tomk:  I would give it to Alpha Blue.

jimmy:  Chuckle.

tomk:  Maybe Kappa Pink.

jimmy:  Now you’re just being silly.

tomk:  Fine.  Put on these flippers and snorkel down there to help.

jimmy:  I hope it’s a long snorkel.

tomk:  It has an air tube that goes to the surface.

jimmy:  Ok. I’ll need the keys.

tomk:  Try these.

jimmy:  Why does the keychain say “donut stash”?

tomk:  That key opens everything.

jimmy:  Everything eh?

tomk:  Even Watson’s moneybin.

jimmy:  It was just filled with a bunch of IOUs.

tomk:  Probably shouldn’t swim in it no matter what it’s filled with.

jimmy:  One says “IOU one nuclear sub – Omega Red”.

tomk:  Oh, like that guy pays his debts.

jimmy;  Is he a Lannister?

tomk:  No. They always pay debts, as seen in season eight.

jimmy:  Season what?

tomk:  That was when Tywin’s ghost paid off everyone’s credit card debt.

jimmy:  Can he pay off mine?

tomk:  You don’t believe in that season.

jimmy:  I’ll believe if it pays off my credit card.

tomk:  Done.

jimmy:  Woohoo!

tomk:  Just make sure you rescue a sunk nuclear sub to get your debts paid.

jimmy:  No problemo.

tomk:  And you have to work with Omega Watson.

jimmy:  I’ve worked with worse.

tomk:  Really?  Like who?

jimmy:  Original Recipe Watson.

tomk:  So that guy with death spores isn’t worse?

jimmy:  Nope.

tomk:  You have some interesting ideas, and Storm wishes to subscribe to your newsletter.

jimmy:  Done and done.  As long as it keeps her out of confined spaces.

tomk:  That’s the subject of a weekly advice column.

jimmy:  Dear Storm,

if you have claustrophobia, don’t go in a sub underwater.

Take care,
Jimmy

tomk:  You’re a goddam genius, Jimmy.

jimmy:  I know, right?

tomk:  Now help Wolverine with his murderous rage issues.

jimmy:  That’s gonna take more than one column.

tomk:  Best start now.

jimmy:  I’m on it.

tomk:  You can do that or Gambit’s fear of commitment.

jimmy:  That seems to be more of a Rogue issue.

tomk:  You didn’t see Gambit flirting with the Ms and the Moose’s mama?

jimmy:  I did not.

tomk:  You may want to stay out of your kitchen for the next few minutes.

jimmy:  No problem.

tomk:  I hope it wasn’t your turn to do the dishes.

jimmy:  My turn?

tomk:  Women like it when you help with chores, Jimmy.

jimmy:  They do?  Huh.

tomk:  I think I know why they find Gambit so charming.

jimmy:  He does the dishes?

tomk:  Yup.

jimmy:  That’s one smooth Cajun.

tomk:  He wouldn’t have that opening if you did the dishes.

jimmy:  Fine. I’ll do them.

tomk:  Too late now.

jimmy:  Oh well. Guess I’ll get back to snorkeling to that sub.

tomk:  Too late for that too.

jimmy:  Oh?

tomk:  Yeah, Rogue pulled it out.

jimmy:  Excellent.

tomk:  Now you have to tell the Ms. why Gambit is doing the dishes for you.

jimmy:  As long as they’re getting done.

tomk:  Yup, and the Cajun is charming the Ms in the process.

jimmy:  But the dishes are getting done?

tomk:  As long as she doesn’t leave you for a charming man who does the dishes and doesn’t just continually lose his donut stash.

jimmy:  I’ll take my chances.

tomk:  Good man. You’re full of confidence. Some women find that sexy.

jimmy:  Excellent. It’s certainly not my body anymore.

tomk:  That doesn’t sound like confidence.

jimmy:  I have many layers.

tomk:  Of fat?

jimmy:  Many, many layers.

tomk:  That just means there’s more of you to love.

jimmy:  Excellent point.

tomk:  Yes, but that’s no excuse for eating all that pudding I left out.

jimmy:  I mean, if you’re just gonna leave it out…

tomk:  It was for a party.

jimmy:  A pudding party?

tomk:  A big birthday party for Wolverine. Pudding keeps him pacified.

jimmy:  Hmm. We better get some more.

tomk:  Better hurry before he goes on another submarine retrieval with Omega Red.

jimmy:  That’ll probably never happen again.

tomk:  You’re right.  Supervillains never come back.

jimmy:  Probably not in a nuclear sub.

tomk:  Maybe he’ll launch himself out on a nuclear missile.

jimmy:  That’s just crazy enough to work!

tomk:  Don’t try it yourself.

jimmy:  Oh, ah yeah, right. Of course.

tomk:  Jimmy, did you try it yourself?

jimmy:  No. But I would not recommend it. Trust me bro.

tomk:  How do you know it was bad?

jimmy:  Trust me.

tomk:  Should I trust Magneto?

jimmy:  I would not.

tomk:  What if he offered everybody a really good deal?

jimmy:  On a nuclear sub?

tomk:  Slightly used.

jimmy:  Well, if only “slightly”…

tomk:  What if he offered you sanctuary?

jimmy:  From?

tomk:  Watson?

jimmy:  Where do I sign up?

tomk:  Over there past the spinning blades of death.

jimmy:  Worth the risk.

tomk:  Or maybe he set up a mutant sanctuary.

jimmy:  But I’m not a mutant.

tomk:  You can’t go then.

jimmy:  Fine. Can I watch?

tomk:  Like, the next episode?  Sure.

jimmy:  Tarp it up.

tomk:  Tarp?  Sure.  Here’s your tarp.

NEXT TIME:  Magento has a new home.