Tales From The Crypt “Only Sin Deep”

I thought I had this one figured out.  I was wrong.  Partially.

So, there’s this prostitute. Sylvia Vane (Lea Thompson) who likes her looks and…well, she’s kinda rude and brusque otherwise.  And she has a prostitute friend, a black woman named Raven, because of course the black woman is named Raven.  Anyway, she sees a rich guy going into a fancy hotel and decides she wants so of that.  She kills her pimp in one of the worst set-ups for a shooting I have ever seen–no muzzle flash, the actors don’t seem to react at the right time–and then she decides to pawn his watch to get herself into that rich guy’s good graces.

But the watch was stolen, according to the pawn shop guy, but he’ll give her $10,000 for her beauty.  Pay him back in four months, and she can keep her looks.  Now, all those voodoo decorations (for lack of a better word) should have been a warning, but the pawn shop guy, when alone, promises this corpse in a wedding dress that could be the Cryptkeeper’s sister that she’ll get her beauty back soon, and there’s plenty of hints that Sylvia is not the first person to do this deal.

Anyway, she buys the best in 80s fashion, seduces the rich guy, and then her face starts to fall apart when she is one day late.  I figured this much would happen.  What I did not expect was what came next: she can get her beauty back for $100,000, and while robbing her boyfriend of her own jewelry, he comes in and doesn’t recognize her, so she shoots him in a better shooting scene while he’s calling the cops, even if he seems just fine after taking a couple to the chest despite the squibs and she has to shoot him again.

Can she get her beauty back?  Well, yes, but would she want to now that she’s wanted for murder, and with her current face, no one recognizes her.

There are moments here where I really was wondering what was going on.  She can wear nicer clothes, but her manners are the same.  Would the newspaper really refer to her as a “gold digger” in the headline where it is noted she is the top suspect?  How did four months seem to pass so quickly?

Well, Raven called her an ugly old bitch in the end, so maybe it all worked out.  Just not for Ms. Vane.  Oh, wait, her name was another pun…

What about the Cryptkeeper?  He’s very low-key.  Nearly no puns.  He cracks a mirror in the opening bit and is applying beauty cream in the closing bit.

Notable Names:  Thompson, writer Fred Dekker is back