Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen “Bride-Shaped Hole”

You know, I just can’t help thinking something very bad is going to happen at this wedding.

See, this episode has Rachel lose her wedding dress.  She and Nicky wonder if they forgot to bring it from a friend’s house in Cleveland, and he offers to drive out and get it while his mother Victoria and weird sister Portia, along with sister-in-law Nell, work to adjust Victoria’s old wedding dress to fit Rachel.  In the process, Rachel’s prized necklace, a cherished token that once belonged to her late mother, disappears.  There’s lessons on how to tell real pearls from fake, lots of tears, Nicky’s nephew Jude thinks the Sorry Man is coming, and that’s not even getting into how overall creepy Nicky’s brother Julian is.

Seriously, no matter what he’s doing, he looks creepy.  Even when he’s trying to calm his son by telling him there’s no such thing as the Sorry Man.

Then again, maybe the fact that Nicky’s father is played Ted “Buffalo Bill” Levine should be disturbing enough.  Or how Victoria gives a speech over breakfast about how time always beats love in the end.  Or that it comes out almost 100 people are coming, all Nicky’s extended family, and nobody told Rachel, whose only family is a father she doesn’t talk to.

Well, really, that’s all bad.

The last straw, just before Nicky comes back and…wait, how do I know Nicky is doing half the things Rachel thinks he’s doing when he’s not around?

See, now even I’m suspicious at this point.  Rachel honestly thinks she’s being set up for a demonic sacrifice.  She finds her missing dress hung on an effigy hanging from a tree and Nicky’s dad Boris digging a grave in the middle of the night.  What else is she supposed to think?

See, the explanation that Boris gives: that Victoria is dying of a brain tumor, that they hadn’t told Nicky yet, that everything is also a send-off for the family matriarch, that sure sounds plausible.  Why didn’t they say something sooner?

And when Julian tells Jude, with the creepiest lighting possible, that there’s no such thing as the Sorry Man, that sure doesn’t explain who the shadowy guy outside the house is.