Weekend Trek “Babel One”

The title of the episode refers to a planet, set to host a peace conference between the Andorians and the Tellarites, that Archer and the crew never get to.  That is just as well:  the story of the Tower of Babel isn’t exactly one where peace breaks out.

Actually, this episode is a bit more like what I like.  First, Jeffrey Combs is back as Commander Shran.  He has that blue-skinned lieutenant with him again, the female who I may or may not have mentioned by name before, but she has a scene in her space underwear, noteworthy because that means that actress had to put on quite a bit of blue make-up.  Anyway, Shran is always something of a delight.  He’s not a good ally on many levels but he is on others.  He’s paranoid.  He hates the Vulcans, as do the rest of his people. He’s always up for a fight, something that can make him dangerous in other ways.

And then there are the Tellarites.  Now, these guys were from the Original Series, but they were mostly just short guys in bad rubber masks.  The make-up is much better here, and while they are nowhere near as much fun as Shran, they do have “complain all the time” as their primary character trait, and these guys are good complainers.  It also means there’s a fake-out after the credits where it looks like Hoshi and Archer are slinging insults at each other in what sounds like a heated argument, ending with Archer suggesting Hoshi skip the dessert tray in the mess hall–Hoshi should skip the dessert tray?  Where would she put the extra pounds?–only for the reveal that this is just Archer practicing his ability to give as good as he gets when the Tellarites show up.  Now, I don’t much care for what the Tellarites do because, well, all they do is complain even if they complain magnificently, but having the Andorians and the Tellarites together on their way to a trade conference is another step on the road to the Federation of Planets.

Ah, but the kicker is neither of these guys like each other!  They’ve been shooting at each other!  Hence the need for a trade conference, Earth as the mediator, and Enterprise needed to escort the Tellarites because they aren’t allowed to take their own ships through Andorian space. That also means that the episode opens with Shran in his severely damaged ship ordering an evacuation after what he thinks if a Tellarite attack, the Tellarite Ambassador complaining the Andorians have been attacking his people as well, but both sides deny it.

That also means that, after Archer has picked up Shran’s few survivors and had to confine both alien groups to quarters, it is the Andorians who break out and nearly kill the Tellarites, mostly because the Andorians know how to fight and the Tellarites know how to complain, and I know who I want on my side in such a scenario.

Now, when an Andorian ship attacks Enterprise, ignores all hails, and is undamaged when Shran shares what should be the exact trajectory to take down the shields, I can tell someone is provoking the Tellarites and the Andorians to fight each other, and it is, well, the Romulans.  It’s a prototype Romulan ship, one that can disguise itself as either an Andorian or a Tellarite vessel, and when Archer’s ship gets too close, well, they find it seemingly cripples and send Malcolm and Trip onto the mystery ship to see if anyone needs help.  Then it takes off without them, a ship where the breathable atmosphere is only on the bridge.  Now, had Malcolm, who is running out of air, and Trip got to the bridge and found the Romulans, that might be a problem according to Trek canon where humans have no idea what a Romulan looks like until Kirk’s time.  But then comes the best twist of all:  the ship is remotely operated, and there are no Romulans onboard.

That does mean that Archer can only, at best, suspect Romulan involvement because T’Pol reminds him that there’s a similarity in the energy signature from the only time Archer and his Enterprise encountered the Romulans, and even then, they never saw one of them.  And quite frankly, if Archer had managed to rescue Trip and Malcolm, the Romulan prototype then blowing up and ending with the “the Romulans did it from their homeworld” reveal, I would have been satisfied, but instead, the remote reveal comes before a “To Be Continued,” so I suspect that peace between the Tellarites and the Andorians might be worked out a bit better before the end of this story.