July 15, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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The Clone Wars “Slaves Of The Republic”

Ahsoka, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Rex all go undercover on a slaver world.

Man, the slaver world sure is sleazy.

I mean, it should be, but this was a kids show, right?

In order to rescue the harmless artists from that colony that got raided by Zygerrian slavers, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Rex, and Ahsoka are going undercover there.  The men are posing as slavers while Ahsoka is a captured slave.  R2 is also there…but I have no idea what happens to him by episode’s end.  He has other problems, I guess.

Now, I wasn’t kidding when I said this was a sleazy planet.  What little I saw of Anakin’s slavery said he, well…he worked in Watto’s shop, but he also apparently could make money in pod racing, had friends, free time, and a home with his mother that looked decently furnished.  For a slave, he didn’t seem to have it too bad.  If anything, he would have maybe been just a regular employee from the looks of things.  But on the Zygerrian homeworld?  Well, slaves are manhandled in every sense of the world, and all the overseers are armed with energy whips.  And that’s before a slave jumps to her death after a failed assassination attempt on the Queen.

Star Wars has never been subtle.

The plan for the heroes here is Anakin will take his “slave” to see the Queen, keep her busy, and allow Obi-Wan and Rex to go looking for the colonists.  Ahsoka is not comfortable being s slave, but you’d think Anakin, given his general hatred for slavers of all kinds, would be the problem here.

Surprisingly, it’s Obi-Wan who gets himself caught when he goes to rescue the colony’s governor in broad daylight in a crowded square.  Man, he deserved to get captured for being that stupid if you ask me, and nobody did.

That, of course, leads to the exciting rescue attempt when Anakin is ordered by the Queen, a woman he’s been flirting with heavily, to whip Obi-Wan in the town square.  Will he do it?  Um, no.  That would be evil.  Instead, R2 flips the Jedi their lightsabers in a moment straight outta Return of the Jedi, and that should be the end of that, right?

Oh, wait, Ahsoka didn’t know she was wearing a shock collar.

And Rex was surrounded.

And the other two were outnumbered and worn out.

Well, Anakin has a choice:  he can be the Queen’s willing consort and save his friends or…something else.  Ahsoka is being dangled over the side of a cliff and still has her shock collar.  The others went to the training world where all the other colonists went, the guy in charge there killed a bunch to show Obi-Wan what will happen if he acts up.  These slavers are the worst.

They’re so bad that the Queen at one point referred the Jedi Order as “slaves to the corrupt Senate” or some such, and this woman runs a slave empire and didn’t see the irony there.  Then again, her people seem to believe in slavery because of social darwinism or racism or what Discworld novels call speciesism and are pretty bad.  Kinda makes me wanna see Anakin find a way to beat ’em since they all really deserve it.

Then again, he did fail to mention he’s married while flirting heavily…