May 27, 2024

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Slightly Misplaced Comic Book Characters Case File #475: Avengers 1,000,000 BC

And there came a day unlike any other, but this time it was in prehistoric times so no one wrote it down. That is what "prehistoric" means.

OK, here’s something that is weirdly awesome that I am not sure why I didn’t mention it before.  Probably because, as much as I generally like Jason Aaron’s work, I found his Avengers run a wee bit underwhelming.

But he did give the world a team of caveman Avengers.

As I see it, something like the Avengers of 1,000,000 B.C. are the sort of group that were used for a pet storyarc by a single creator and then may or may not appear all that often afterwards.  They aren’t a bad idea or anything, but given they are set in a very different time period from the main team, they’re usefulness will probably be limited outside of a special mini-series or even a stand-alone series if someone really wanted to do so.  Regardless, they first appeared in Marvel Legacy #1 in September of 2017 from writer Jason Aaron and artist Esad Ribic.  Aaron would go on to write the main Avengers book with a storyline that had the Avengers traveling throughout both time and the multiverse to stop both the Multiversal Masters of Evil–who I will probably cover next week–and the Council of Red, or a whole lot of Mephistos from throughout the multiverse who were all being used by the one from the main 616 universe for…reasons.

I don’t plan on doing anything with the Mephisto thing.

Essentially, the idea was that heroism can only occur on a planet where certain primal forces gather during the dawn of humanity to from an Avengers-like team.  The primal forces will pop up again  and again throughout history, being passed often from one user to another, but they need to start somewhere.  To that end, the 616 prehistoric Avengers were the following:

  • Odin–the all-father, younger and brasher than he used to be, with the newly forged Mjolnir at hand, though Mjolnir is not a particularly obedient hammer since the sentient superstorm Odin trapped inside of it never liked him.
  • Firehair–a telepathic mutant that was shunned by her own people for the crime of being a redhead that would be the first Earth-born host for the Phoenix.  She and Odin had an on-again/off-again thing going, and founding the team was her idea.
  • Agamotto–the first Sorcerer Supreme, and he hasn’t forged the Eyes of Agamotto quite yet.
  • Mosi–the first Black Panther, considered calm and intelligent by Odin, and Odin doesn’t care for him for those very reasons.  He is the first Wakandan to survive the favoritism of Bast the cat spirit.
  • Fan Fei–the first Iron Fist, she decided to leave K’un L’un to travel the world doing good for others.
  • Vnn–the first human Starbrand, he and his lover were banished from their tribe for being gay, but when Vnn’s larger, more physically capable boyfriend was killed and Vnn gained the power of the Starbrand to defend the Earth, the process changed him into a Hulk-like rage monster.
  • Ghost–the first Ghost Rider.  He made the deal with Mephisto to be the first, and rode atop a flaming mammoth when he was powered up.

Later on, they’d gain the membership of a former foe, the first Moon Knight, and he looked even more ape-like than the others.

Oh, and just for everyone’s general edification, Vnn gained the power of the Starbrand when he absorbed it off the long dead remains of the first Earth-born Starbrand, a Tyrannosaurus Rex.  So, whatever I may think of Aaron’s Avengers run, it did give me a cosmically-powered dinosaur.

Regardless, this team got together to battle a sick Celestial that came to Earth and almost wrecked things.  They’d go on to battle numerous foes like the Deviants, Frost Giants, and the servants of the moon god Khonshu who was a wee bit jealous his Moon Knight champion was not originally asked to join the team.  They’d even deal with time travelers like a juvenile Thanos and a timelost Iron Man.  Using the cosmic powers of the iron fist, Starbrand, Spirit of Vengeance, and a host of others, they righted wrongs for a period even if Firehair thought Odin was too wreckless.  That was mostly because he was too wreckless, and when the Frost Giant’s leader Laufey came back looking for revenge for the death of his young son (not cool, Odin), Mosi died and the team disbanded.  There would be a partial reunion later when Thor was born and nearly died until Firehair returned from space and infused him with life-energy, essentially making herself another mother to the Thunder God.

These Avengers would meet one last time when the finale to Aaron’s run occurred and the prehistoric and modern teams joined forces to battle the Multiversal Masters of Evil, a fight that would lead to the deaths of Starbrand at the hands of the Doom-Above-All, the blinding of Agamotto, and the self-sacrifice and death of the mammoth-riding Ghost Rider who used his speed to absorb a life-erasing magic spell Doom had cast to eliminate all life on Earth.  The survivors would then go to the God Quarry to stop both Doom and Mephisto’s separate plans while working with Avenger Prime and his own Mulitversal Avengers, a massive army of heroes from throughout the multiverse that included whole battalions of Steve Rogers and Carol Danvers, a Thor that trained to be an Iron First but never quite got the power, a cosmic-powered T’Challa, and a whole lot of others.  There the present day Starbrand and Firehair sacrificed themselves, modern day Ghost Rider Robbie Reyes disappeared, and when evil was defeated, the surviving Avengers all went home to their respective universes where Agamotto decided to make some amulets or something.

So, really, I suppose these guys could come back, but we might be better off if they didn’t.

But about those Masters of Evil…