Hey, Happy Halloween! Here’s another transcript of Jimmy and Tom’s thoughts on a pair of Last Airbender episodes,
Hey, there is someone in a disguise in the first one they covered here.
“The Blue Spirit”
A mysterious figure offers Aang help when he’s found by Zhao’s forces.
jimmy: And also he’s a ninja
tomk: Is he this universe’s Batman?
jimmy: He might be.
tomk: Well, you do like Batman. And the Blue Spirit got a lot done without tossing a single fireball.
jimmy: Did he? I kinda thought he might have when he took off the first guard off camera in the hallway. There was a burst of flame that seemed to come in the opposite direction of how the guard would have been standing. But maybe I’m reading too much into it.
tomk: That could have been the guard too. We didn’t see.
jimmy: Yes, possibly. And that was probably the intent.
tomk: That makes it more surprising when Zuko is unmasked. Even if he only saved Aang so he can capture the Avatar himself.
jimmy: Yeah. And I only really thought it might have been him using the fire bending after the reveal. Likely was the guard.
tomk: He really fooled you, Jimmy.
jimmy: He did. And even after you planted the clue last chat.
tomk: No wonder Aang offered to be his friend.
jimmy: Which was not gracefully accepted.
tomk: Zuko has some issues he needs to work through. At least, that’s probably what Iroh thinks.
jimmy: He just needs to be the one who brings in the avatar. And he had no love for Zhao.
tomk: Zhao seems like he’d fail the Jerk Test.
jimmy: Fail? Or get an A+?
tomk: I dunno. It’s your test.
jimmy: He’s a jerk either way.
tomk: Even other Fire Nation people seem to think so.
jimmy: That archer guy did…until Zhao got promoted.
tomk: People hate jerks.
jimmy: Most people. But sometimes not other jerks.
tomk: Do you think Zhao is the type of jerk to be liked by other, lesser jerks?
jimmy: I bet daddy fire bender likes him.
tomk: Ozai might be the biggest jerk of them all.
jimmy: There you go.
tomk: I’m starting to think this world needs more heroes and less jerks.
jimmy: There probably used to be until the Fire Nation decided to take over.
tomk: Every place has heroes. Look at Canada. Wolverine. Deadpool. Alpha Flight. Jim Carrey. Alex Trebek. The Polkaroo.
And of course…
jimmy: The greatest of them all.
And I’m surprised you knew about the Polkaroo.
tomk: You told me about him.
jimmy: I knew it!
tomk: I’m a bit jealous. I come from New Jersey. Do you know who we got as our hero?
jimmy: Everyone digs giant robots.
tomk: Well, yes. But he’s Jersey’s only hero.
jimmy: You’re probably not attacking Jersey with Manhattan right next door.
tomk: New York heroes don’t come to defend Jersey.
They think they’re too good for the place.
jimmy: We’ll get Aang to talk to them.
tomk: He has to save his own world first.
jimmy: He can’t even save himself.
tomk: He did save the Blue Spirit.
jimmy: After the Blue Spirit saved him. Mostly.
tomk: It was a team effort!
jimmy: Don’t tell Zuko!
tomk: He might figure that out given time.
jimmy: See…those guys could be best buds!
tomk: Aang certainly thinks so. Besides, his other friends are delirious with fever and loaded down with stolen goods.
jimmy: Oh Momo.
tomk: Sokka may not have been the most delirious person there if Katara thought Momo could fetch anything.
jimmy: He does seem genuinely smart. Usually.
tomk: Well, they’re always broke. Some of that stuff might buy a lot of provisions.
jimmy: Though it seemed to disappear in the final shot when Aang got back.
tomk: Momo knows Aang would never let him keep that stuff,
jimmy: Maybe Momo is related to Baby Groot.
tomk: You mean the show didn’t show us how Momo came back with some dude’s nose or something?
jimmy: Not specifically.
tomk: Good. That’s awfully dark for this show.
jimmy: This show can be pretty dark at times. Even if only implied.
tomk: True. Maybe it would lighten up if Momo stole a giant robot for Aang.
jimmy: That would be awesome.
tomk: I have it on good authority that you dig giant robots.
jimmy: Who doesn’t?
tomk: Probably not Zhao if one steps on him.
jimmy: Hopefully one does.
tomk: This show seems to have a distinct lack of giant robots.
jimmy: It’s only season one.
tomk: Yeah, sure. The Cabbage Man is probably building one.
jimmy: Out of cabbage?
tomk: Well, maybe fueled by cabbage.
jimmy: Now you’re getting it!
tomk: Getting what? That you hate cabbage with the fire of a thousand suns?
jimmy: Yes. And that fire can fuel the Cabbatron.
tomk: So, you want cabbage now?
jimmy: Only to fuel my Fire Nation destroying robot.
tomk: Is Jet your co-pilot?
jimmy: No no. My giant robot has a no jerks policy.
tomk: You said your robot would destroy an entire nation.
jimmy: Not literally. Geez, Tom.
tomk: Well, good. You don’t want to be declared a jerk by your own test.
jimmy: That’s true. I’m just trying to return balance to the nations.
tomk: You want Aang’s job now?
jimmy: Only to help.
tomk: Well, I am sure giant robots can only be used for good.
jimmy: Was Stay Puft Marshmallow Man a robot?
tomk: You wanna ask him?
jimmy: Well, no.
tomk: Not without some kind of sugarbender by your side.
jimmy: Mmmm. Sugar bender.
tomk: We got one of those in the Gabbing Geek cafeteria.
jimmy: It’s the best.
tomk: Certainty better than sucking on frozen amphibians.
jimmy: Yeah, that was kinda gross.
tomk: Don’t ask the crazy woman for cures…even if they work.
jimmy: Once she said she was crazy, I was surprised he still went the frozen frog route.
tomk: He didn’t have any other options.
jimmy: Could have tried giving them the cat food.
tomk: But that lacks the medicinal properties of frozen frogs.
jimmy: According to a crazy person.
tomk: They got well pretty quick from the looks of things.
jimmy: Indeed. Maybe their sickness was all a hoax.
tomk: You don’t think being stuck in a storm won’t get you a bad fever? That fisherman might be dead for all you know.
jimmy: He probably had a freezer full of them frogs.
tomk: Does he have a freezer? Should I ask what’s in yours?
jimmy: A cooler then?
tomk: Sure, Jimmy.
jimmy: How else do the keep their frogs frozen?
tomk: Very cold swamps?
jimmy: There you go getting all technically right again.
tomk: I listened to the crazy herbalist woman. Especially since she works with the sugarbender in the cafeteria and I want to make sure I get the right meal.
tomk: But that’s neither here nor there. Lots of characters on this show listen to older women.
jimmy: As they should.
tomk: So, should we see what woman they should listen to next?
jimmy: That sounds like a segue!
tomk: It could be unless you have more to say about Aang and Zuko’s Excellent Adventure.
jimmy: It wasn’t bogus.
tomk: In that case, how do you feel about fortunetellers?
jimmy: They’re bogus?
tomk: Well, one member of the Aang Gang agrees with you. Ready to find out who?
tomk: Good. Time to read some tea leaves.
The Aang Gang visits a village where people rely a little too much on the local fortuneteller.
jimmy: So I tried for two days and no way would Netflix play this episode on my iPad. I finally got to watch it by using my phone. Ugh. Could the fortuneteller have seen that coming?
tomk: Aunt Wu sees all, Jimmy. She knew Secret Invasion was going to be bad.
jimmy: She could have warned us!
tomk: Would you have listened?
jimmy: Probably not.
tomk: Then stop complaining when she’s right.
jimmy: Only if Sokka will.
tomk: But Sokka understands science.
jimmy: So do I!
tomk: You understand science?
jimmy: You don’t?
tomk: I’m not something of a scientist, Jimmy.
jimmy: Huh. Well, do you believe in fortune tellers?
tomk: The last time I consulted one, about a decade or so ago, I was told I would soon meet a wise, funny, street smart Canadian with great financial success who would become my most valuable partner. And that’s when I met Ryan Reynolds at a convenience store bathroom. I would offer to show you the Deadpool 3 script I anonymously co-wrote, but Blake Lively said you’ll be happier if you don’t see it because of something she called the Gossip Girl Incident.
So I guess I do.
jimmy: Huh. And I was going to make a comment wondering if Aunt Wu was “correct” when she predicted that village wouldn’t be destroyed, but it’s hard to follow that up.
tomk: I think Aunt Wu knows how well her predictions work judging by what she said to Aang at the end of the episode.
jimmy: That he owed her $19.95 for the first minute and $2.95 for each additional minute?
tomk: Katara said Aunt Wu doesn’t charge.
jimmy: Odd that she would say that to Aang then.
tomk: Aang had her figured out. He wasn’t loudly contradicting her like Sokka or a blind believer like Katara.
He just made a quiet observation about one of Aunt Wu’s predictions being made up.
jimmy: A lot of it is ambiguous or coincidence, or just playing the percentages. But I loved Sokka’s point with the red shoes.
tomk: Sokka doesn’t get enough credit from people.
jimmy: Maybe because he so often acts like a buffoon the rest of the time.
tomk: Oh, and is he any less foolish than a man who dodges a platypus bear?
jimmy: He had it all under control.
tomk: The bear or the fool?
jimmy: The fool apparently.
tomk: Only because Appa showed up.
jimmy: And then he laid an egg, as bears are known to do.
tomk: The platypus does lay eggs.
jimmy: So I see. How odd.
tomk: It had a duckbill, Jimmy.
jimmy: Yes. Just odd that a platypus lays eggs.
tomk: They do, Jimmy. One of two mammals that do. The other is the spiny anteater.
jimmy: That was that old guy’s nickname in high school.
tomk: Probably back when Aunt Wu turned him down for the prom.
jimmy: Would you want to go to prom with a guy named Spiny Anteater?
tomk: I wouldn’t want to go to the prom with a guy, no.
tomk: I’d rather go to prom with Anne Hathaway.
jimmy: Oh. Good choice.
tomk: Even if her nickname is Spiny Anteater.
jimmy: Yes. Even if.
tomk: By the by, Cousin Minka says Aunt Wu told her to never go to prom with you. Something about a horrible antler accident.
jimmy: Now it all makes sense.
tomk: Of course it does. Now enjoy your papaya.
jimmy: I don’t know if I like papaya.
tomk: Then don’t have it for breakfast.
jimmy: Even if a fortune teller told me to?
tomk: You said above you didn’t listen to fortunetellers.
jimmy: Then I guess I won’t have papaya.
tomk: Right. I got just the thing for you.
jimmy: Hmm. Papaya it is.
tomk: That or you can have this plate of bacon and egg. The egg came from a platypus bear.
jimmy: Hmm. Papaya it is.
tomk: Congratulations. You are the new Papaya King.
The title is merely ceremonial.
jimmy: Papayas for life!
tomk: Well, you seem happy with your new title. I guess I will give Ryan the keys to the giant robot.
jimmy: Maybe I should consult Aunt Wu on these kind of life decisions.
tomk: Or you can rely on the opposite of your instincts.
jimmy: It’ll probably work out either way.
tomk: You may be right. Maybe you can be a fortuneteller.
jimmy: I knew you were going to say that!
jimmy: I did? I did!
tomk: You did. Have a victory cake.
jimmy: I knew I would get a cake!
tomk: And a steak dinner?
jimmy: Ah, um, of course!
tomk: The main course.
jimmy: I’ll need my strength to climb that volcano.
tomk: Someone has to check those things.
jimmy: So that guy that climbed up and got the first flower wasn’t like “oh man, that doesn’t look good, maybe I should tell someone”?
tomk: He listened to Aunt Wu.
jimmy: Maybe his reporting it is what would have saved the village.
tomk: That was Aang’s job.
jimmy: Sure, but how did that guy know?
tomk: Aunt Wu told him.
tomk: Those people were pretty helpless.
jimmy: They’re not a powerful air bender.
tomk: Or a 12 year old worried about his love life.
jimmy: Is 12 too young to have a crush and wonder who he’s going to marry?
tomk: Well…let’s just say the one plotline for this show I never much cared for was Aang’s love for Katara. 12 is fine to wonder about that, but he sometimes talks like he’s deeply in love and all that in a way that seems a little too old for the character. Sokka or Zuko’s having girlfriends is fine. Those guys are older. Aang just feels too young to worry that much about that.
jimmy: He had a lot of time to think about what he wanted in a girl while in that iceberg for 100 years.
tomk: And he chose the first one he saw.
jimmy: If he likes her he likes her.
tomk: Were you that into a girl when you were 12, Jimmy?
jimmy: 12…that would be…grade 7. I don’t remember specifically, but would have definitely been near or on the horizon.
tomk: I dunno. I’m not saying it’s wrong or something, just I don’t care for this one plotline.
jimmy: Most shows have a love story.
tomk: I know. I just can’t bring myself to care about Aang’s romantic problems.
jimmy: That’s ok.
He probably doesn’t care about yours.
tomk: I wouldn’t expect him to be. He has bigger problems to deal with.
jimmy: Like cloud bending.
tomk: Just like that. Or saving the village from its own silliness.
jimmy: Aunt Wu said the village wouldn’t be destroyed and it wasn’t, so who’s silly now?
tomk: I don’t know. I just think that’s an awful lot that can be read into these situations.
jimmy: That’s how they work. Vague, mysterious, ambiguous, reading physical cues, emotional cues, name tags.
tomk: Is that why you are still wearing those red shoes?
jimmy: Nah. I already found my true love. Or so I’m told.
tomk: Is your one true love the one who told you?
tomk: Then it must be true. Or else.
jimmy: And I’m not a powerful air bender either. I break wind, but that’s a whole different thing.
tomk: That explains some of the smells from your office. I always assumed it was Wet Moose.
jimmy: That too.
tomk: Also, a strong smell of fresh donuts.
jimmy: When we can keep Jenny at bay.
tomk: Well, I think when we get to Jenny and the Donut Stash, it may be time to move on.
tomk: Unless you have more to say about Aunt Wu or Aang Vs the Volcano.
tomk: Then maybe we should let Sokka and Katara catch up with an old friend.
jimmy: We should.
tomk: In that case, we will.
NEXT TIME: Tom and Jimmy will be back with more Last Airbender chat. Be back soon when they cover the episodes “Bato of the Water Tribe” and “The Deserter.”