December 7, 2023

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Weekend Trek “Sub Rosa”

So, there's this ghost that has a thing for Dr. Crusher...

So, there are a few rather notorious episodes of Star Trek.  They pop up in each and every series.  And yes, even this late into The Next Generation when the show was essentially doing a victory lap, there could still be a stinker or two.

Then again, Tom is on-record for admitting he likes “Spock’s Brain.”

Anyway, Jimmy and Tom are off to chat about Dr. Crusher’s ghost romance.

“Sub Rosa”

Dr. Crusher meets a romantic ghost that had previously seduced her grandmother.

jimmy:  I’ve watched worse hours of television, but this certainly wasn’t very good.

tomk:  There are much worse episodes of this series, but this one makes top ten worst Trek lists for some reason.

jimmy:  It’s not very Trek-y and it fails hard at being a horror/ghost story.

tomk:  You weren’t spooked by fog on the bridge?

jimmy:  No. Were you?

tomk:  Nah. They weren’t.

jimmy:  Only Picard knew what fog was.

tomk:  Which…what?  There’s no fog anymore on Earth?

jimmy:  I dunno. Data was describing it at an elemental level. Everyone else looked bewildered. Picard’s like “oh, it’s fog.”

tomk:  Sounds more like they didn’t understand Data than they didn’t know what fog was.

jimmy:  That could be. How come Data didn’t know what fog was?

tomk:  Maybe Data just can’t explain things.

jimmy:  Oh Data.

tomk:  He has to be precise. Weird Scottish weather and the occasional ghost aren’t something he knows a lot about.

jimmy:  Data should read more.

tomk:  Or maybe less.

jimmy:  Or maybe more about 800 year old ghosts on the wrong planet.

tomk:  They should have taken Ronan or Rohan or whatever that  Canadian actor’s character’s name was to the Lucky Charms colony from season two.

jimmy:  He was magically delicious.

tomk:  Only if you did something with that candle.

jimmy:  The other lucky charm guy warned them about that.

tomk:  Well, the original Lucky Charms Colony was destroyed by a supernova or something.

jimmy:  Good thing they all moved to Scottish Theta 1.

tomk:  The Irish stereotypes didn’t move in with the Scottish stereotypes in that episode.  They went to Clone World.

jimmy:  But that wouldn’t entice Picard to stick around for a tour.

tomk:  He was mostly confused about why Crusher changed her eye color.

jimmy:  Wouldn’t you be?

tomk:  Well, apparently you can just do it in the 24th century.

jimmy:  They can fix a broken rib or turn a Klingon into a Goodfellas brother in seconds, so that’s not surprising.

tomk:  That’s probably how the Moose disguises himself as your mailman.

jimmy:  He’s from the future?

tomk:  I dunno. He’s your friend.

jimmy:  I’ll ask him tomorrow.

tomk:  He might just have access to a time machine.

jimmy:  Then I’ll ask him yesterday.


jimmy:  Exactly.  Maybe we can use it to go back and not watch this episode.

tomk:  You can go back in time and skip one episode, and you choose this one?

jimmy:  Just going with the flow.

tomk:  I see.

In that case, don’t light that gift candle Watson got for you.

jimmy:  No. I’ve seen what that candle is used for.

tomk:  Yeah.  It smells like farts when you light it.  Watson doesn’t have access to anaphasic life forms.

jimmy:  Thank Jeebus.

tomk:  That’s more of a Jenny thing.

jimmy:  No wonder Jenny’s not around anymore.

tomk:  Besides, if that Ronin doofus can only get with the women of Beverly’s line, it was gonna have some real problems with the next generation unless he can also seduce Wesley.

jimmy:  Or Jack.

tomk:  He’s got Picard Borg stuff in him.  Or so I am led to believe since that show won’t exist for another thirty or so years after this episode.

jimmy:  Given that Jack is at least in his twenties, that coupling is closer than you think.

tomk:  So, season thirteen?

jimmy:  Something like that.

tomk:  Still no good for Ronin.

jimmy:  He’s lucky Beverly even came to the funeral and wasn’t busy on the other side of the galaxy.

tomk:  And then Beverly got lucky.

jimmy:  Indeed.

tomk:  And Picard got lucky that electric blast didn’t short out his artificial heart.

jimmy:  It only made it stronger.

tomk:  So, you’re saying you want a roided-out Picard to fight that ghost for Beverly?

jimmy:  It wouldn’t have hurt.


jimmy:  That’s Picard watching any of the Troi/Crusher or Crusher/Ronin or Crusher scenes.

tomk:  I am pretty sure he was probably just glad he wasn’t in those scenes and was making this face:

jimmy:  That’s probably the face he made when Frakes agreed to direct.

tomk:  I think they worked on a rotation and it was just Frakes’s turn.

jimmy:  Interesting. I wonder how much choice they did have?  And not like it was only by the cast directing.

tomk:  No, I think the directors were selected by the producers.  I don’t think Frakes saw this script and called dibs.

jimmy:  Let’s hope not anyways.

tomk:  Or maybe Frakes had a Welsh ghost in his trailer.

jimmy:  He shouldn’t have lit that candle Stewart gave him.

tomk:  Bad things happen when candles are involved.

jimmy:  Poor Welshie.

tomk:  He got off lucky. You don’t know what else a cursed candle can summon.

jimmy:  Worst. Candle. Ever.

tomk:  Don’t light this one either. It calls forth a different Scottish ghost.

jimmy:  He’s dead sexy.

tomk:  If he’s a ghost, he’s mostly dead.

jimmy:  Only mostly?

tomk:  I don’t body shame.

jimmy:  I mean, aren’t ghosts fully dead?

tomk:  We don’t want to discount the sexy.

jimmy:  We don’t discount ourselves, Tom.

tomk:  I would never go for a Discount Jimmy.

jimmy:  With the exchange rate, Regular Price Jimmy is pretty cheap as it is.

tomk:  I wanted the Deluxe Jimmy with the Impossible Standards.

jimmy:  That model’s pricey.

tomk:  Well, obviously. But you gotta spring for the best sometimes. Then you don’t end up with Dr Crusher having implied sex with a ghost.

jimmy:  I don’t know how implied it was at times.

tomk:  Well, we don’t know what Ronin was doing aside from boldly going where Picard has never gone before.

jimmy:  Yet.

tomk:  Well, we have arrived at the future Picard Plows the Doctor portion of this chat. I feel dirty. Anything else to add?

jimmy:  Remind the kids not to light haunted Scottish candles.

tomk:  Just the kids?

jimmy:  Everyone?

tomk:  Exactly. Have a cookie.

jimmy:  Thank you.  I will.

tomk:  You can enjoy it when we get to the next episode, one that inspired a later Trek series while acting as something of a sequel to an earlier episode.

jimmy:  A sequel and a prequel?  Don’t tell Ryan!

tomk:  Does he pay attention to these things?

jimmy:  These?  God no.  But just in general around the office.

tomk:  What if we tricked one of the others into doing it?

jimmy:  I’m for that.

tomk:  Or we could just move on to the next episode.

jimmy:  I’m for that too.

tomk:  Good.  Because you’ve been saying how you want to see Lower Decks.

Next:  “Lower Decks”