Weekend Trek “Dark Page”

Lwaxana Troi, a character that has long since felt like she came from a completely different show, returns for a final turn in a more dramatic capacity.  Jimmy and Tom have the details below.

“Dark Page”

Lwaxana Troi is acting strangely following a diplomatic mission to a telepathic race.

jimmy:  So it’s unclear in the show exactly what happened, but a deleted scene reveals Deanna’s sister was swept out to sea.

tomk:  Yeah, I can’t imagine why that was cut.

jimmy:  It didn’t show anything. It was just a line by her father about the current being too strong.

tomk:  And a juvenile Spider-Man wasn’t there to save her.

jimmy:  Miles Morales?

tomk:  Tobey Maguire maybe.

jimmy:  He wasn’t interested until MJ became a redhead.

tomk:  And he probably still looked too old to be a kid.

jimmy:  Well, he is 7 years older than Dunst.

tomk:  He looks 17 years older.

jimmy:  Radioactive blood will do that to you.

tomk:  And the less said about radioactive semen, the better.

jimmy:  Agreed.

tomk:  But that’s for another conversation we will never have. Now we know why Troi is and isn’t an only child.

jimmy:  This seems like a very wrong and selfish way to handle the whole thing though.

tomk:  Lwaxana Troi is doing something kinda selfish?  That seems unlikely.

jimmy:  Good point. But man, telling your husband to never talk about your deceased daughter?  Basically wiping her from existence to the point Troi didn’t know she had a sister. That must have been tough, even if Troi is only partially telepathic.

tomk:  That was probably the point. It was too painful to ever even think about.

jimmy:  I get that, but doesn’t really seem fair to Troi.

tomk:  We can add that to Troi’s list on why Lwaxana was probably not the best parent.

jimmy:  That list will take up a fair chunk of her memoirs.

tomk:  But a desire not to relive a terrible trauma is hardly the worst crime.

jimmy:  No. I get that. Just the side effects of it is somewhat unkind.

tomk:  It’s a delicate situation. Lwaxana must have been really messed up if she remembered just by meeting a young girl who looked nothing like Kestra.

jimmy:  And when that young girl slipped and fell into a pool an inch deep with water, Lwaxana fell into a coma.

tomk:  She was already edgy from yelling at Riker.

jimmy:  She was not happy with him, that’s for sure.

tomk:  But why?  He’s just a big lovable goof.

jimmy:  You can read all about it in Chapter Two of Troi’s memoirs: “Why Will Riker Is Such A Jerk”.

tomk:  She preferred Tommy Riker.

jimmy:  I’m sure he’ll be back before the series is done.

tomk:  Or he appeared on DS9.

jimmy:  So is that the only Frakes appearance on DS9?

tomk:  In front of the camera, yes.

jimmy:  He was working for the caterers the final season.

tomk:  Or directing many episodes along with LaVar Burton.

jimmy:  I knew Frakes did.  Burton directed a lot of DS9?

tomk:  Burton directed some Voyager episodes too.

jimmy:  Cool.

tomk:  Probably Enterprise as well.

jimmy:  Makes sense.  You didn’t seem him much in front of the camera after TNG.

tomk:  Meanwhile, Frakes appears in a notoriously awful Enterprise finale, voices Riker on two episodes of Lower Decks, directs a couple episodes of Picard if not other new Trek, and seems like a really nice man who gives out good hugs.

jimmy:  That Enterpise finale did the series no service.

tomk:  I only know it by its reputation.

jimmy:  You’ll see it someday.  I haven’t seen it since it aired.  I don’t think it is as bad as it’s reputation, but it was certainly a misstep.

tomk:  They probably weren’t counting on it being the last one.

jimmy:  Oh, it’s obviously the series finale.

tomk:  Oh, well, in that case, have some pretzels. They may or may not make you thirsty.

jimmy:  I’m going to need some sort of Betazoid beverage that ties into this episode to wash these down.

tomk:  I don’t think you do, Jimmy.

jimmy:  You’re the boss.

tomk:  It’s served and drank in the nude.

jimmy:  I’m fine with that.

tomk:  Even if the server is this guy?

jimmy:  I love Joey, but…

tomk:  You’d love the other pics even less.

jimmy:  Fine, I’ll just stick to this prune juice.

tomk:  You can have this beer if you prefer.

jimmy:  Thank God.

tomk:  Maybe even two.

jimmy:  Do we know how Troi’s father died?

tomk:  He figured it was the only way to escape his wife?

jimmy:  Oh, that’s cold.

tomk:  There’s probably an in-universe reason, but I don’t know what it is. I do know Marina Sirtis made up an accent, based on her Greek heritage, for Troi but neither of her parents have it, so your guess is as good as anybody’s where that came from.

jimmy:  She was probably afraid her real voice would get used across the Federation for Siri: TNG.

tomk:  But hey, Lwaxana got a heavy, dramatic episode on this show for a change.

jimmy:  Though she spent much of it unconscious.

tomk:  That might be the only way to give her a dramatic episode. She’s too much like a sitcom refugee when she’s awake.

jimmy:  Not so much this time as she spent much of her conscious time crying.

tomk:  After she told Worf and Riker about their unsophisticated brains.

jimmy:  Is she wrong?

tomk:  Well, maybe don’t just blurt that out to a Klingon without explaining why first. It’s not very diplomatic for a diplomat.

jimmy:  She was a little preoccupied.

tomk:  That was, like, normal behavior for her.

jimmy:  That’s true. She’s never forgiven Riker or been nice to Mr. Woof.

tomk:  At least she kept her flirting with Picard to a minimum.

jimmy:  Picard is thankful for that as well.

tomk:  Picard was maybe not too upset she was comatose.

jimmy:  I’m not sure he’d wish that on her. Maybe.

tomk:  As long as she didn’t see freaky stuff on a loop.

jimmy:  Picard might wish that on her.

tomk:  Is your vision of Picard that cruel?

jimmy:  No. You’re right. No one would keep sending that clip to someone over and over again.

tomk:  Not on a ten hour loop or something.

jimmy:  Oh, no one would do that.

tomk:  So far, no.

jimmy shakes his fist

tomk:  Picard isn’t a mind reader. Not without help.

jimmy:  He just needs that guy there to intensely stare for way too long on camera at a time.

tomk:  He was looking at you, Jimmy.

jimmy:  Creepy. Was he reading my mind?

tomk:  Was there anything there worth reading?

jimmy:  Maybe my shortbread recipe.

tomk:  Not any wayward thoughts about how tight Troi’s uniform is?  Or where Cousin Minka put her Dove costume?

jimmy:  I put those in the privacy section.

tomk:  What would you do if the subject of those thoughts could see them?

jimmy:  Cross my fingers?

tomk:  You might be able to see their thoughts as well.

jimmy:  Interesting.

tomk:  But you aren’t a character on this show.

jimmy:  Unfortunately.

tomk:  But Picard and Crusher are.

jimmy:  Segue?

tomk:  Yes!

jimmy:  Lay it on me then!

tomk:  You got it!

Next:  “Attached”