Hey, here we are. The next installment of what might be called Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Week.
This time, Jimmy and Tom are covering the episodes “Winter Solider” and “The Deadliest Man Alive”.
Captain America really wants to know who the Winter Soldier is.
jimmy: He seemed to have a pretty good idea.
tomk: Did you, person who has seen the story before?
jimmy: Well, yeah.
tomk: Well nobody told Steve.
jimmy: He seemed to know. He was more out to confirm. Whereas Fury was out for an eye for an eye.
tomk: I thought a Flerkin took his eye.
jimmy: It changes every time he tells it.
tomk: What’s your version?
jimmy: I didn’t lose an eye.
tomk: I mean for how he did.
jimmy: Well, I don’t know.
tomk: Do you know your name?
jimmy: Everybody knows my name.
tomk: And can you describe your quest?
jimmy: To get through this episode?
tomk: Do you know the airspeed velocity of an unburdened swallow, African or European?
tomk: Ok, your story checks out. You don’t know how Fury lost that eye.
jimmy: I told you!
tomk: Good. And now you need a ladder to get out of that pit.
jimmy: I don’t need no stinking ladder!
tomk: You want a rope instead?
jimmy: I can Dark Knight Rises myself right outta here!
tomk: Um, OK.
Weren’t there stairs to jump to for Dark Knight Rises?
jimmy: “Stairs” might be a stretch.
tomk: Better than smooth walls.
jimmy: Spidey would have no trouble. But he’s not in this one.
tomk: No, he is not. Instead, on a team with the likes of Thor, Iron Man, Ms Marvel, and the Vision, it’s Cap and Bucky who need to take down a giant robot.
jimmy: They were busy taking down the other giant robots.
tomk: As long as they didn’t try to date one.
jimmy: They didn’t seem so bad…until the Earth was destroyed.
tomk: Are you dating robots, Jimmy?
jimmy: Dating a robot Jimmy…hahaha…don’t be preposterous…ha…
tomk: Should I ask the Ms?
tomk: Good. I don’t even know her.
jimmy: And she’s definitely not a robot.
jimmy: And never been cryogenically frozen to prevent aging.
tomk: Well, I hadn’t brought up that about her…
jimmy: I’m just trying to bring us back to the Winter Soldier origin. She’s not an agent of the Red Skull either.
tomk: She isn’t?
jimmy: And now, neither is Bucky.
tomk: Also good. He can join the Avengers now if he wants to.
jimmy: Like Yellowjacket?
tomk: Yellowjacket is truly an active member of the team. You probably didn’t see him use his shrink gun on six of those robots.
jimmy: I didn’t…but that would have been smart!
tomk: He’s probably shrinking stuff all over the place.
jimmy: Maybe he shrunk his common sense.
tomk: Look, Jimmy, you should always use whatever you have handy when you need to fight giant things like robots or monsters. Be glad Hank isn’t using a fire truck.
jimmy: And people complain about The Flash‘s CGI…
tomk: You have a problem with South Korean post-apocalyptic shows where people turn into monsters and young women either fight them in fire trucks or dodge them in vents while dressed in their underwear?
jimmy: Underwear eh?
tomk: If that’s your thing.
jimmy: It helps to distract you from the CGI.
tomk: Were you particularly distracted?
tomk: Then she can join the Avengers and fight giant robots.
jimmy: Works for me.
tomk: And you can, um, join Alpha Flight and battle the Great Beasts with her fire truck.
jimmy: That works for me too!
tomk: You can even fight in your underwear if you want to.
jimmy: That…not so much.
tomk: Smart move. You shouldn’t fight giant monsters that far north in your underwear.
jimmy: Or in any direction really.
tomk: But you really need to watch out for that Red Skull guy.
jimmy: He’s just the worst. And how did he build and hide all those giant robots without anyone noticing?
tomk: He pointed at the distant horizon and shouted, “What’s that over there?”
tomk: That, or other people are stupid.
jimmy: Also possible.
tomk: I mean, one dude geocaching with a metal detector could have found those things.
jimmy: Right? Or even spotted them. They didn’t seem very deep.
tomk: Well, the plan wasn’t very deep either.
“I have been arrested! Release the giant robots I could have used at any time!”
jimmy: Haha. Good point. Why save them for just this particular scenario?
tomk: He could have done so much better if he used them before most of the Avengers were even born.
jimmy: Maybe they weren’t built at that point.
tomk: I suppose that’s possible, but he relied on Hydra brainwashing to keep Bucky in line. That’s a stupid idea.
jimmy: It worked up til now.
tomk: Well, that’s the power of Steve.
Plus, he recognized the Winter Soldier. That’s more than I can say for you and the Winter Moose.
jimmy: Granted, those guys all look the same.
tomk: He seemed to know who you are.
jimmy: I only look like me. And Hugh Jackman.
tomk: I thought Hugh Jackman looked more like you.
jimmy: So he keeps telling me.
tomk: What else does he tell you? Did he say when the Winter Soldier will come back?
jimmy: He didn’t. Is the answer never?
jimmy: That’s good.
tomk: But like a free frogurt, it might be cursed.
jimmy: He seems to be breaking the curse.
tomk: Sure. And the Red Skull can go back to jail.
jimmy: For like 10 minutes.
tomk: That’s why you got a fire truck for when he breaks out.
jimmy: That works for me!
tomk: The Moose can work the ladder controls.
jimmy: I dunno. Those can be tricky with hooves.
tomk: You’d rather let that sneaky Beaver do it?
jimmy: Maybe I need to find a human to help me operate the fire truck. Like, an Asian woman in her underwear.
tomk: Sorry, she joined the Avengers while you joined Alpha Flight.
tomk: But you got a fire truck.
Just not the firefighter to go with it.
jimmy: Maybe Steve could help while he waits for Bucky.
tomk: Help her, sure. Because he’s on the Avengers and you’re on Alpha Flight with the truck.
jimmy: I’ve made a terrible mistake.
tomk: You mean joined the Canadian superteam with such noteworthy Canadian members as Puck, Sasquatch, Vindicator, Box, Neve Campbell, Rachel McAdams, and Malin Akerman?
Maybe it’s not so bad.
tomk: Things are never as bad as they appear to be. Or they are much, much worse.
jimmy: And sometimes you lose an eye.
tomk: That’s why you should wear safety goggles.
jimmy: Not many heroes do.
tomk: Spider-Man does.
jimmy: That’s why he’s the best.
tomk: Well, it’s good that we all remember Spider-Man because the Avengers sure did seem to forget about the Hulk.
jimmy: Anyone could forget the Hulk. All tucked away down there.
tomk: But he may be the most dangerous man on Earth.
jimmy: Maybe that’s why they’re leaving well enough alone.
tomk: Or maybe that’s why someone should look into that Red Hulk.
jimmy: Someone like…?
tomk: Well, the Avengers.
jimmy: Great segue!
tomk: So, Cap, Tony, Thor, Vision, Clint, Carol, Jan, Hank, T’challa, and South Korean firefighter woman.
jimmy: The classic line up.
tomk: Ready to find some Hulks?
jimmy: Will I end up radioactive?
tomk: Um, no.
jimmy: Ok good. Then, ready!
“The Deadliest Man Alive”
The Avengers go to find one Hulk and encounter another.
jimmy: Since I already knew, I can’t remember, was the Red Hulk’s being Ross supposed to be a big reveal?
tomk: Yeah. The Red Hulk’s identity was secret for a while, just hinted to be someone Banner knew.
jimmy: And no one suspected Ross because he had a mustache and Red Hulk did not!
tomk: Well, reading it at the time, he was either Ross or Doc Samson.
jimmy: Samson would have made more sense. Ross turning into a Hulk is one of the great comic ironies.
tomk: Ross was actually the more likely candidate given the clues, but there were enough to point at Samson to keep it secret.
jimmy: Did the show really do much with the mystery of it all? Besides the initial injection.
tomk: Not really. Red Hulk just showed up and yelled at people when he wasn’t punching them.
jimmy: You’d think one of those Code Red guys might have tipped the Avengers off.
tomk: Maybe. Or maybe they just realized Red Hulk was kind of an asshole anyway.
jimmy: That didn’t take much to figure out.
tomk: “Red Skull brainwashed me like the others!”
“Then why did you seem to enjoy beating everyone up?”
“Because it’s funny!….Oops.”
jimmy: But when the green Hulk does it…
tomk: He beats up people that deserve it.
jimmy: That’s not how Ross sees it.
tomk: And look where that got him.
jimmy: Trapped in some silly putty that was strong enough to hold a Hulk who forgot he also had flame powers.
tomk: He may not be that smart.
jimmy: He purposely turned himself into what he hates the most, so you may he right.
tomk: It’s the Dunning-Kruger Effect in action.
jimmy: Yeah. That. The Freddy Kruger Effect.
tomk: You don’t know what Dunning-Kruger is, do you, Jimmy?
jimmy: She was in National Treasure right?
tomk: At least you are going for a George Costanza reference.
jimmy: I assume it’s something about turning yourself into what you hate?
Like if I became Watson.
tomk: It’s a known psychological concept that suggests people of lower intelligence just assume they can do all kinds of things without any sort of training because smart people know their limits.
jimmy: Well, I got that one completely wrong.
tomk: But you may know your limits.
jimmy: That I do know.
tomk: So, you’re smarter than people who don’t know they have limits.
jimmy: I am pretty smrt.
tomk: You are. You should be proud of your many accomplishments.
jimmy: So should you.
tomk: I would, but pride goeth before the fall.
jimmy: Something else Ross knows all about.
tomk: Falling down?
jimmy: Pride. Fall. Etc.
tomk: You’re right. That’s not just a movie starring Michael Douglass.
jimmy: A horrible, horrible movie.
tomk: You prefer other Michael Douglass movies?
jimmy: Well, it has been 30 years since I’ve seen it, but I’ll say yes.
tomk: It’s better than Basic Instinct.
jimmy: But is it better than Ant-Man?
tomk: Well…better than Quantumania.
jimmy: We’ll have to agree to disagree. But we can agree we won’t see the Red Hulk again.
tomk: But what about the Green Hulk?
tomk: Are you saying he’ll be back or that you want clarification on that question?
jimmy: He’ll be back?
tomk: Yeah, I think that’s likely.
jimmy: I knew it!
tomk: Who else do you think will be back?
tomk: Well, not on this show.
jimmy: Then, Spider-Man and Wolverine.
jimmy: According to the thumbnails on Disney+ anyway.
tomk: Oh. Those. Well, we could find out what that’s all about. If you like Spider-Man or something.
jimmy: I do.
tomk: Well, you have been good lately. I guess you deserve some New Avengers.
jimmy: Sounds good!
tomk: Or we watch Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends. Wait, it might be the same thing.
jimmy: Sounds good!
tomk: Off we go then.
NEXT: Tom and Jimmy will be back soon for a new team line-up, and then some Kree stuff. Be back soon for “New Avengers” and “Operation Galactic Storm”.