Jimmy and Tom are moving through more of Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, this time covering the episodes “Ultron Unlimited” and “Yellowjacket”.
Told ya there might be another one this week.
Ultron sends the Vision out to replace the Avengers with mechanical duplicates.
jimmy: I must have missed Synthethor showing up with his own hammer and was like “how is he lifting Mjolnir?”
tomk: Real Thor could have just summoned his hammer back out of Synthethor’s hand. Maybe taking an arm with it.
jimmy: Well, he was unconscious most of the episode, but when he wasn’t he summoned Mjolnir and pretty much beat them all by himself.
Except for Vision flipping Ultron’s switch from “Indestructible” to “Destructible”.
tomk: He could have switched him from “good” to “evil,” but nooooooo….
jimmy: He was already evil.
tomk: Dang, I got it backwards.
I blame Watson.
jimmy: To be fair, the Good/Evil switch was the first joke I thought of too.
tomk: Well, that’s because you learned your lesson about bug jokes for the previous episode.
jimmy: I did? I did!
tomk: You did. You deserve a reward.
jimmy: How about a nice polish sausage?
tomk: Have two.
jimmy: I did. And some fries.
tomk: Where did my root beer float go?
jimmy: They, uh, had to bring it back. It wasn’t floating right.
tomk: Well, I know there wasn’t a synthezoid involved. They can’t enjoy nice things.
jimmy: Vision seems to want to give it a shot.
tomk: Ultron built him too well.
jimmy: Ultron wants to remove the human factor, but Vision wants to become the human factor.
tomk: The Vision is Data’s cousin?
jimmy: Quite possibly.
tomk: That explains this look:
jimmy: Someone needs to get some sun.
tomk: Data too?
jimmy: Especially Data.
tomk: What about Casper?
jimmy: Is Casper an Android?
He’s a g-g-g-g-ghost!
jimmy: It’s ok, have a Tommy snack.
tomk: I can’t. Someone took my root beer float.
jimmy: Man, you are not having much luck today.
tomk: At least I kept my head. That’s better than Ultron.
jimmy: Maybe if he had it secured with more than a switch.
tomk: I don’t think Ultron is all that bright after all.
jimmy: Probably one of those things that you don’t prepare against as you never expect it to happen.
tomk: Ultron sure is arrogant if that’s the case.
jimmy: You ever thought he wasn’t??
tomk: Well, there was this one time where he let Hank take credit for something, but who can say?
jimmy: That was old Ultron. New Ultron is more worried about turning Jan into his robot love slave.
tomk: Who looked like Jocasta apparently.
jimmy; History lesson please.
tomk: Jocasta was Ultron’s second attempt to build a servant/child, this time a female one. Her name comes from the legend of Oedipus. Oedipus famously killed his father and married his mother without realizing it until it was too late, and Jocasta was his wife/mother while Ultron certainly wants to kill his father Hank Pym. Like the Vision, Jocasta rebelled. She’s actually been a love interest for another superhero robot, Machine Man.
jimmy: Huh. I knew the character, but not much about her. Thank you, Professor Kelly.
tomk: You’re welcome. Now go explain it to the world.
jimmy: Done and done!
tomk: You’re doing a good job, Jimmy. Better than Steve in his efforts to trick Ultron.
jimmy: That was so obvious, Ultron should be pissed at his faux Avengers for not picking up on it.
tomk: Hey, you get what you pay for. And he paid nothing.
jimmy: Those synthezoid parts ain’t free.
tomk: Five finger discount?
jimmy: Maybe. I’m sure he didn’t pick up his adamantium at Walmart.
tomk: The Vision stole that from the Weapon X Program two episodes ago.
tomk: Did you forget?
tomk: You didn’t?
jimmy: I did.
tomk: Then you don’t remember who took my root beer float?
jimmy: Certainly not.
tomk: Well, best watch no one replaces you with an inadequate robot.
jimmy: It might be an upgrade.
tomk: I doubt it.
tomk: That robot would probably do something rude like tell people they’re fat or befriend or murder Watson. Whichever is worse.
jimmy: Well, I wouldn’t want Watson murdered.
tomk: Jimmybot befriends him it is.
jimmy: I’ve deactivated Jimmybot.
tomk: Good. No one liked him.
jimmy: He’s no Vision.
tomk: Everyone seems to like him despite his efforts to get them all…well, not killed.
jimmy: Better than trying to get them killed.
tomk: So trapping them in an agony booth is better?
jimmy: That was before he started feeling bad.
tomk: Or he wondered why he was feeling bad.
jimmy: Now you’re getting it!
tomk: I think I want Spider-Man back. He made more sense.
jimmy: Spider-Man allows makes things better.
tomk: Yes, he allows.
jimmy: Stupid typos.
tomk: Stupid sexy typos.
tomk: Well, maybe it’s time to move on. Maybe we’ll see Spider-Man again.
jimmy: Don’t tease me, Tom.
tomk: I think there’s a good chance we see Spider-Man in the next episode.
jimmy: Let’s get to it then!
tomk: Yeah. We should probably go check on Hank.
After Hank Pym’s death, a mysterious new vigilante appears on the scene.
jimmy: Well, that was a Spider-Tease.
tomk: I didn’t say he was going to be in it for very long.
jimmy: No. You didn’t. But still.
tomk: Besides, who doesn’t love Psycho Hank?
jimmy: Hey, at least he didn’t slap Jan.
tomk: Nah, he just let her think he died. That’s much better.
jimmy: He was a little insane by that point.
tomk: Just a little?
jimmy: Well, not completely.
tomk: He was with it enough to make himself a different size. Why didn’t Jan point out that just because Yellowjacket and Hank were not the same size, it shouldn’t matter when Hank’s skills literally involve changing the size of things?
jimmy: Right? I’m surprised someone like Black Panther didn’t pick up on that. It was the first thing that went through my mind.
tomk: That’s because you’re smarter than they are.
tomk: He also had Hank’s voice.
jimmy: Slightly “distorted” but yes. And if they were used to seeing his face in the Ant-Man mask, seeing his face in the Yellowjacket mask should have looked similar.
tomk: Or just seeing Hank’s face without a mask.
jimmy: Well, yes, after they took the mask off, but prior to that, it should have been relatively obvious.
tomk: Those masks only cover about half of his face. And it’s always the same half.
tomk: Did they think Yellowjacket was really Hawkeye or Cap or something?
jimmy: I dunno. But they didn’t think he was Hank.
tomk: He was too short or something.
jimmy: Maybe he’s a Skrull?
tomk: With that chin?
jimmy: And the Skrull would probably get Hank’s height right.
tomk: Why would a Skrull want to impersonate Hank? He seems like a jerk no matter what name he goes by.
jimmy: At least Yellowjacket managed to remain conscious the entire episode.
tomk: Yeah. Now if he’d just stop shrinking everyone…
jimmy: He does, but they’re all bad.
tomk: Thor seemed remarkably chill about the whole thing.
jimmy: Until his hammer disappeared.
tomk: Yellowjacket also knew all of Thor’s moves. That should have been a clue.
jimmy: The Avengers aren’t too perceptive to clues.
tomk: They really need a Batman.
jimmy: Isn’t that Iron Man?
tomk: He didn’t pick up on the clues.
jimmy: They don’t call Iron Man the World’s Greatest Detective.
tomk: They might call him a scientist. But Batman’s a scientist.
jimmy: As is Norman Osborn.
tomk: He’s only something of a scientist.
jimmy: That’s true.
tomk: Maybe if he was an actual scientist, he wouldn’t have had any problems.
jimmy: Real scientists tend not to blow themselves up. Oh, wait…
tomk: Good scientists tend not to do that.
jimmy: And if they do, they’re probably faking their own death.
tomk: Unless Hank is a bad scientist.
jimmy: Well, he did make that prison that wouldn’t stop shrinking.
tomk: He also made Ultron.
jimmy: That’s not great on the resume.
tomk: Then again, at least the Avengers remember he exists. The Hulk is still sitting in a prison cell somewhere.
jimmy: Hopefully not in that shrinking prison.
tomk: Looks like not.
jimmy: I’m sure we’ll see him sooner than later.
tomk: And it’s a good thing the Hulk is a character known for his even tempered ways.
jimmy: He won’t let bygones be bygones?
tomk: Maybe he discovered Buddhist meditation.
tomk: Somehow, I doubt it.
jimmy: Me too.
tomk: Besides, if Hank went that nuts on his own, I can’t imagine the Hulk is much better.
jimmy: Hulk’s brain is not changing sizes all the time…oh…wait…
tomk: No beer and no TV makes some Avengers something something.
jimmy: I think Hulk would be more worried about no pizza.
tomk: What worries Hank?
jimmy: Nothing. Hank’s dead.
tomk: Then who is Yellowjacket?
jimmy: He didn’t say.
tomk: He was unmasked as Hank! Didn’t you listen to Jan?
jimmy: I’m just saying what the man himself said.
tomk: He said Ant-Man was dead at the end. Better not tell Scott.
jimmy: That crossed my mind too. They even had an Ant-Man statue.
tomk: Scott Lang isn’t an Avenger.
jimmy: No, but he’s still Ant-Man.
tomk: Maybe he changed the name to Termite Dude.
tomk: Was Scott in the crowd at the funeral?
jimmy: Not that I recall, but they went by pretty quick.
tomk: You were probably dazzled by Spider-Man and Luke Cage.
jimmy: Don’t forget Iron First!
tomk: He gonna pleasure himself with that hand?
jimmy: Uh…he’s not pleasuring viewers.
tomk: That’s for damn sure. Have a piece of apple pie with a scoop of ice cream.
jimmy: A punishment fitting the crime.
tomk: Pie is a punishment? Fine. You don’t get any.
jimmy: Like Iron Fist, it’s palatable but you would enjoy having something else.
tomk: You raise a good point. Have a piece of chocolate cake and a scoop of ice cream.
jimmy: Now we’re talking.
tomk: And hopefully Hank remembers who he is. It’s always bad when people forget.
jimmy: Hmm. I might be able to use that if I can convince Jimmy and Jimmy Possible to forget who they are.
tomk: Jimmy and Jimmy Possible? How many Jimmys are there?
jimmy: I’m sure there are lots out there.
tomk: I’m starting to think you’re just playing head games. Like you’re going to take up a new identity and say you aren’t Jimmy Impossible anymore. Something like Johnny Carwash or Jason Morris.
jimmy: Those names are obviously made up.
tomk: At a certain level, all names are made up.
jimmy: That they are.
tomk: But most superheroes have made up names.
jimmy: And sometimes just one name like Yellowjacket.
tomk: Maybe it was supposed to be two. Like Yellow Jacket.
jimmy: Or Yellow-Jacket.
tomk: Hyphens make it one word.
tomk: Dashes are just silly.
Try Yell-ow Jacket.
jimmy: And the dashes are silly…
tomk: That’s a hyphen.
jimmy: Either way, at least Hank is taking some initiative and rounding up criminals instead of sulking in his lab.
tomk: I dunno. He was storing them in a microscopic cell in tight restraints without attempting to rehab anybody. Jan thought it was inhumane…though it didn’t look that different from 42 now that I think about it…
jimmy: Less Ultrons and waves of man-eating bugs.
tomk: Still, tiny cells in what amounts to another reality.
jimmy: You’re right though, not much difference. Just more about constraint than rehabilitation.
tomk: I didn’t see any rehab going on in 42.
jimmy: That was Hank’s claim to fame with 42. Caring as much for the prisoners than the, uh, non-prisoners.
Wait, that was the SuperMax or whatever it was called.
tomk: The Big House.
jimmy: Ah right. Irony.
tomk: It’s a joke. You like jokes.
jimmy: I do.
This show has really got a thing for prisons though.
tomk: Particularly ones that can’t seem to hold prisoners.
jimmy: Maybe they need to be less elaborate.
tomk: So, simple room with bars and a toilet?
jimmy: And the prisoners not wearing their super powered outfits.
tomk: You should just put your ideas over in the suggestion box.
jimmy: I will! “Dear Mr Pym. Enough with the super shrinking prisons. Love, Jimmy”
tomk: And I am sure his current frame of mind will accept such criticism gracefully.
jimmy: He doesn’t think he’s Hank, so he’ll probably discard it. Like my idea for bitesized shrunken chocolate cakes.
tomk: You mean these Little Debbies?
He stole my idea!
tomk: He did? Looks like it’s that kid Debbie’s fault.
jimmy: Man. A Canadian just can’t catch a break.
tomk: Any Canadian or just you?
jimmy: Just me probably.
tomk: Maybe you should adopt a new name, attitude, and nationality. Have you considered Lithuanian?
jimmy: No. Are they well respected?
tomk: Well, they might be more respected than you are now if you can’t catch a break.
tomk: You just need a new name that is tangentially related. Like from an ant to a yellowjacket.
jimmy: Though Yellowjacket didn’t seem big on using shrinking or growing tech on himself.
tomk: No. He just wants to shrink other things. Probably reduces the size of a guy’s package just for giggles.
jimmy: That’s probably what happened to Watson.
tomk: Or he suggested it to Yellowhank.
jimmy: Maybe Hank accidentally did it to himself, and hence he’s “dead”.
tomk: Maybe that’s why he scanned at being a different size.
jimmy: Makes sense.
tomk: Well, here’s a route I never thought I’d take this conversation.
tomk: Well, we could keep talking up how Hank is back and now a borderline psychopath. Or we could move on and see if his psychopath side is addressed in the next episode.
jimmy: That sounds better than shrinking wangs.
tomk: Yes. Instead, we can see what happens when the series adapts a Marvel Graphic novel about a time when Dr. Doom took over the world, only Doom doesn’t appear in the episode.
jimmy: That…makes sense.
tomk: Just some other armored smart guy in the Doom role.
tomk: You see another armored smart guy on this show?
tomk: Besides, it might be time for the Vision to save the day.
tomk: Well, this time he does it on purpose.
Not, you know, because he doesn’t get it when he feels things.
jimmy: I feel it’s time we find out.
tomk: Then get ready to greet some royalty.
NEXT: Tom and Jimmy will return soon with more Avengers talk. Be back soon for their thoughts on the episodes “Emperor Stark” and “Code Red”.