Anyone who knows Jimmy Impossible knows he loves Spider-Man. Naturally, it was only a matter of time before he would see Spider-Man on Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.
But that was only one episode that Jimmy and Tom watched. They also saw one with the Vision. See below for their thoughts.
“Along Came a Spider”
With Captain America’s reputation at its lowest, it’s time for a Spider-Man team-up.
jimmy: Queens and Brooklyn representing!
tomk: And J.K. Simmons. You must be happy.
jimmy: A good Spidey backdoor pilot.
tomk: Or crossover since it was the same voice actor as Ultimate Spider-Man, which was running at the same time.
jimmy: I haven’t seen that one…yet.
tomk: They originally recorded with the voice actor from Spectacular Spider-Man, but the lines were recorded over.
jimmy: Interesting. That one I have seen. Why the switch?
tomk: Probably because Ultimate was on the Disney Channel at the same time.
jimmy: Disney. I knew it was them.
tomk: Not the bears?
jimmy: Well, I thought it was them first.
tomk: Maybe it was Disney bears.
jimmy: I knew it!
Regardless, you got your Spider-Man.
jimmy: I did. And a good Spidey it was. I also liked the Cap side of things. The continued fallout from Secret Invasion. Didn’t just all wrap up nicely last episode.
tomk: Steve takes everything in stride.
jimmy: And takes full responsibility.
tomk: While the Serpent Society is lucky Peter didn’t pop a cap in their collective asses.
jimmy: The less successful Spider-Man: The Snyder Cut.
tomk: That was the one where Peter was bitten by a radioactive hand cannon.
jimmy: Well, if Batman can use a machine gun…
tomk: He can?
jimmy: Though neither should.
tomk: Well, obviously.
Unless it’s Japanese Spider-Man.
jimmy: He makes it work. Better than what Turkish Spider-Man does in the opening scene of his movie. I won’t link it here. Needless to say, he and Cap are not buddies in this one.
tomk: I am actually aware of how Turkish Spider-Man is a crime lord. Better than Italian Spider-Man, whose adventures are too sexy for family viewing.
jimmy: I haven’t made it to that one yet.
tomk: It might be more of a Spider-Woman. Some countries are just famous for ripping off other nations’ intellectual properties, such as Italy and Turkey.
jimmy: It can’t be worse than the actual Spider-Woman cartoon…can it?
tomk: Did you want a cartoon that could double for a cheap soft core porno?
jimmy: Uh, no.
tomk: Then which is worse?
jimmy: Italian Spider-Man?
tomk: I don’t know. I am only going by vague whispers on what it’s about.
jimmy: When I watch it, I’ll let you know.
tomk: I look forward to the inevitable return to the Spider-Man Rewatch posts.
jimmy: Um. Sure.
tomk: Probably over on Gabbing Geek After Hours where Watson reviews porn parodies.
jimmy: Worst. Website. Ever.
tomk: I dunno. He can be incredibly insightful on topics that truly interest him.
jimmy: I stopped reading after his review of The Fantastic Whore.
tomk: He dove too deep into box office numbers for my taste.
jimmy: He usually does.
tomk: But what about this Spider-Man guy? I heard he’s some kind of masked menace.
jimmy: Nah. He’s cool.
tomk: Really? He wasn’t helping the Serpent Society escape?
jimmy: Spiders and snakes are natural enemies.
tomk: Is that like those old Spider-Man comics where the Avengers will talk about Spidey and the Wasp will say she hates him because wasps hate spiders?
jimmy: Exactly like that.
tomk: That’s just silly.
tomk: That’s…baffling. Janet didn’t get her powers from a Wasp. She got tech from Hank.
jimmy: That’s what they’ve led you to believe.
tomk: So, what’s the truth then, Mr Impossible?
jimmy: Radioactive wasp bite I assume.
tomk: You assume? Do wasps even bite?
jimmy: Sting then?
tomk: Well, that sounds more plausible.
jimmy: I assume everyone got their powers from radiation. Spider-Man, radioactive spider. Wasp, radioactive wasp. Optimus Prime, radioactive car. Etc.
tomk: Watson, radioactive disgraced politician?
jimmy: Watson’s a politician?
tomk: Well, I wanted to beat you to the obvious joke.
jimmy: Like the Serpent Society all being bitten by radioactive snakes?
tomk: See, at a certain point, Steve was bitten by a radioactive America and Tony a radioactive iron rod. This may not be accurate.
jimmy: Are you saying comic books are lying to us?
tomk: Maybe there are just more ways to gain superpowers.
jimmy: Like what? Getting experimented upon or being super smart?
tomk: Being a god. Gamma bombs. Toxic waste baths. Random mutations.
jimmy: Sounds like you have some good ideas.
tomk: I have more. Alien technology. Knowledge of magic. Being Canadian.
jimmy: You have all the bases covered. And here I thought you had to be bitten by a radioactive Canadian.
jimmy: Damn. Now you tell me.
tomk: You can also get struck by lightning, be rich, come from a magical realm of wonder and mystery, survive a weekend in Texas…
jimmy: Man, there’s lots of ways to get super powers.
tomk: You could also just buy a gun in some places.
jimmy: No guns for our heroes here.
tomk: That’s why I said some places. Other places, maybe you get an archery set.
jimmy: That doesn’t sound useful.
tomk: Hey, Clint didn’t fall down a sinkhole unlike some people.
jimmy: There you go, defending your favorite Avenger again.
jimmy: Using my own joke against me. Well played.
tomk: It’s like asking Spidey to lift something heavy while a roof is collapsing: it always works.
jimmy: He does find himself in that situation often.
tomk: He doesn’t usually get a pep talk from Captain America. Usually he just thinks some helpless old lady will die without him.
jimmy: Or a sexy red head.
tomk: Not according to Marvel these days…
jimmy: Some comic publishers are just jerks.
tomk: Well, we all love Spidey. But then there are heroes who start out on the wrong side.
jimmy: For example…
tomk: Well, there’s this android guy.
The Scarlet Witch kinda likes him, but she isn’t on this show.
tomk: Wrong show. Get your eyes checked.
jimmy: I am getting old. That’s not a bad idea.
tomk: So, you’ll get your vision checked?
jimmy: Oh…nice segue…
tomk: I am sure you saw it coming.
jimmy: I did not.
tomk: Well, maybe you’ll see more with the next episode.
jimmy: Only one way to find out.
tomk: You said it.
When Captain America takes his shield to Wakanda for repairs, a mysterious android shows up to steal it.
jimmy: That Vision guy wasn’t very nice.
tomk: I blame his upbringing.
jimmy: Not his nature?
tomk: Well, there was a shocking reveal at the end if you missed the “previously on” segment.
jimmy: I didn’t.
tomk: See? Ultron built an android that can control its own density, and he’d rather just be indestructible.
jimmy: That doesn’t seem very bright.
tomk: Yeah, well…that’s because you aren’t a murderous robot.
jimmy: I better not cry and take the chance.
tomk: I think you’ll be OK.
tomk: A robot wouldn’t care about that.
jimmy: Some robots have feelings.
tomk: They’re artificial feelings.
jimmy: Feelings none the less. Is artificial sugar any less sweet?
tomk: Good question. I’ll have the lab boys run some numbers.
jimmy: Back to your point, even without the recap I would have expected Ultron to show up, because I am familiar with Vision’s origin.
tomk: But what if you weren’t?
tomk: Then maybe you can have this plate of pancakes with fresh butter and warm maple syrup.
jimmy: Excellent. And served on a recombined Captain America shield. Nice?
tomk: It’s mostly just a decorative plate. It’s not as durable.
tomk: Did you try to throw it to knock out an adversary? And was it Watson?
jimmy: Not yet. I haven’t finished the pancakes.
tomk: Good. Don’t throw it. It’s not Cap’s shield. I’m surprised you didn’t notice it was smaller.
jimmy: I was distracted.
tomk: By what? More pancakes?
jimmy: There’s more???
tomk: There’s always more pancakes.
jimmy: You just can’t eat them in the main dining room at Wakanda.
tomk: Well, you can’t. Wakanda doesn’t let just anyone in.
jimmy: Even the Avengers.
tomk: Well, some of them are OK. Clint probably lost his chance to go there though.
jimmy: He was just kidding. Pretty sure he knew he had no chance against T’Challa. The Dora Milaje he might not have known about though.
tomk: Yeah, because everyone knows T’Challa has a great sense of humor about such things.
jimmy: Clint might not be too bright.
tomk: Then it’s a good thing he’s not as good in a fight as T’Challa. He’d be a terrible king.
jimmy: His mom thinks he’’d be a good king.
tomk: His mom that we never see?
jimmy: I never see your mom, but I know you have one.
tomk: Who do you think makes your pancakes?
jimmy: I could tell they were made with love.
tomk: Because everybody loves Jimmy Impossible?
jimmy: Anyone who counts.
tomk: So, not Cousin Minka?
jimmy: She counts for sure.
tomk: Everyone knows how you count her. Even the Ms.
tomk: It’s kinda obvious.
jimmy: …I know.
tomk: Have a consolation calzone. Meat lovers.
jimmy: Speaking of love…
tomk: Could love fix the Vision?
jimmy: I think time will tell, it certainly helped him in the MCU.
tomk: But there’s no Wanda here.
And the MCU Vision was never evil.
jimmy: I don’t know if he’s “evil” here. Just following his programming.
tomk: So, he didn’t leave Janet and Jane to die?
jimmy: I never said it was “good” programming…
tomk: Like the opposite of taking Young Justice off Netflix Canada? That was bad programming.
jimmy: The worst.
tomk: Well, I hope you enjoyed the Jane Foster scenes. Those were her last in this series.
jimmy: No follow up romance with Thor?
tomk: Maybe for season three.
tomk: The producers and writers had plans for season three.
jimmy: And then Netflix Canada came along and screwed it all up!
tomk: Or Disney did.
tomk: Not sure. They replaced it with another Avengers cartoon based more on the movie’s line-up. It wasn’t as good.
jimmy: Avengers Assemble?
tomk: That sounds about right.
jimmy: I see that on Disney+ but have never watched it.
tomk: I would not recommend it. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s not particularly good either.
jimmy: Like Vision.
tomk: Except the Vision might learn something.
jimmy: He learned not to mess with that Wakandan shield recombination beam.
tomk: I know I did when I watched it beat both Ryan and Watson on a box office bet.
jimmy: In beam we trust.
tomk: Jim Beam?
jimmy: We both can agree, not that.
tomk: You prefer something Canadian?
jimmy: I’m not much of a hard liquor drinker.
tomk: Good. The make-your-own-cocktail bar has also just pulled up.
tomk: Well don’t get too drunk, Jimmy. You might need to help out when the Enchantress does the most diabolical thing she can do or Ultron eats the Hulk’s lunch despite its being labeled in the Avengers community fridge. Or maybe the others remember the Hulk exists and Skrull Cap had him arrested.
jimmy: That sounds like a segue.
tomk: Well, one of those things might be coming up next.
jimmy: One or all?
tomk: Just one.
Guess which one and you win a prize.
You win a trip to Watson’s house.
I never said it was a good prize.
tomk: There’s also a chocolate cake.
jimmy: I forgive you.
tomk: I don’t provide the prizes. That’s Jenny’s job, Possibly because if you’re at Watson’s house, your donut stash is unprotected.
tomk: Don’t worry. The Moose is still here to watch the stash.
jimmy: He loves donuts too…this is not going to go well.
tomk: Maybe give the prize away.
jimmy: Or maybe I can recruit the Enchantress to give me an advantage?
tomk: That never works. Would you like to see how?
jimmy: I would.
tomk: Then let’s see how bad it can get.
NEXT: Tom and Jimmy will be back with more Avengers chat. Be back soon for their thoughts on “Powerless” and “Assault on 42”.
Wednesday “Quid Pro Woe”
Noteworthy Issues: Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #13 (March, 2023)
The X-Files “Talitha Cumi”