Star Trek is a series that often takes a more philosophical approach to whatever sci-fi things are going on.
But sometimes they went for straight-up action, hence this, let’s call it homage to the Christmas classic Die Hard. Jimmy and Tom have some thoughts below on “Starship Mine”.
Picard faces off alone against a gang of thieves during a dangerous cleaning process on the Enterprise.
jimmy: Who knew Changling Tuvok first appeared all those years ago?
tomk: That explains how he was a Klingon on DS9 once too.
jimmy: Talk about playing the long game.
tomk: The real Tuvok must have been plenty mad when he found out. Or he wasn’t because he is a Vulcan.
jimmy: The latter.
tomk: Fair enough. How do you feel about this Christmas episode of TNG?
jimmy: Not as much broken glass, but enjoyable.
tomk: It’s the holiday season. You need to bring out every facet of the day, including bizarre bad movies like Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, the source for this:
jimmy: You’ll always find a way.
tomk: Life finds a way.
jimmy: Unless you’re Hutch. Then death finds a way…though Geordi was shot as well and it was just a flesh wound.
tomk: ‘Twas naught but a scratch.
jimmy: But at least it allowed them to somehow turn his visor into the worst dog whistle ever.
tomk: They wouldn’t have had that problem if Worf was there.
jimmy: He was faster than Geordi and got out of the reception…that had like 6 people in attendance.
tomk: If he was there, he would have found those weapons much faster and dispensed with Klingon Justice.
jimmy: Would make for a short show. They’d have to pad it with another 20 minutes of Data talking about the weather.
tomk: He is remarkably good at that.
tomk: It beat letting anyone else talk to that guy.
jimmy: I still find the whole set up odd. A reception with 3 people and 4 members of the Enterprise crew minus Picard who really likes horsies.
tomk: He has a saddle.
jimmy: That no one knew about.
tomk: We saw him horseback riding in the holodeck once.
jimmy: So, is the holodeck just bad at creating horses? Couldn’t Picard ride a horse at any time?
tomk: But then he can’t come up with an excuse to leave a bad party for a bit.
jimmy: And be the only one on the Enterprise.
tomk: Someone had to go there and stop those thieves that included Tuvok and a Babylon 5 castmember.
jimmy: I’ll have to take your word on the latter.
tomk: The red headed alien woman was on B5.
jimmy: Hopefully she met a better fate than here.
tomk: She bonded with the ambassador from an advanced alien race, became a very powerful telepath, and maybe a terrorist.
jimmy: Maybe B5 was a prequel to TNG.
tomk: It could have been.
You know what the real TNG prequel was?
jimmy: Don’t tell Ryan.
tomk: Ryan doesn’t care.
jimmy: Also true.
tomk: Plus, Picard killed, like six people in this one.
jimmy: Some of them “killed themselves” by not being able to run away from a slow moving beam.
tomk: Well, the ones Picard knocked out sure couldn’t.
jimmy: No. But like that guy in the jefferies tube…totally could have gotten away.
tomk: He was clearly the stupid one.
jimmy: I don’t think any of them were overly bright.
tomk: George Takei was probably giving them pep talks.
jimmy: Being made of stupid would not be great.
tomk: But it would explain why they thought they could rob the Enterprise.
Also why none of them questioned why their leader only brought a one-person ship to escape in.
jimmy: Maybe they didn’t know, but excellent point.
tomk: And why the barber was a bald guy. But the real Mr. Mott is also a bald guy, so there’s that.
jimmy: The bald thing crossed my mind too, but you don’t need hair to be able to cut it.
tomk: True. My own barber is a bald guy.
jimmy: There you go. Is he secretly the Captain of the ship?
tomk: Um, no.
jimmy: That you know of anyway.
tomk: You didn’t specify which ship.
jimmy: Any ship.
tomk: Well, then maybe.
jimmy: But certainly not as kick ass as Picard. Who also at the beginning seemed to know everything about everything.
tomk: You gotta know things if you are the captain, making all kinds of decisions when other people just can’t.
jimmy: Sure. But you can’t know everything.
tomk: That’s why you can ask the computer for help.
jimmy: Or just Picard apparently.
tomk: You’d think Data could fill in some gaps.
jimmy: He was too busy talking about the weather.
tomk: He really needs better programming. Maybe Riker could have asked Data to distract the guards next time.
jimmy: Those guards seemed pretty dumb too. If your hostages are talking and one of them is nonchalantly stroking his beard, they are obviously not planning anything.
tomk: Hey,you can say a lot with a beard stroke.
jimmy: Or some other hand signals, like this?
tomk: Yeah, and Picard got to signal, um, nobody. Really, too bad Worf wasn’t there.
jimmy: He got burned the last time the Enterprise made a stop, so he got the hell out of there and went to Risa.
tomk: Yeah, but he would have had fun with Picard.
jimmy: That’s true.
tomk: Or at that reception once Hutch got zapped.
jimmy: They never would have gotten that far if Worf was there.
tomk: Those fools.
The moral of the story is “Always Take Worf”.
jimmy: Unless he asks first not to go.
tomk: Then go with him.
jimmy: Someone had to listen to Hutch.
tomk: Send Data.
jimmy: They didn’t know that yet.
tomk: He was practicing.
And Data is incapable of boredom.
jimmy: You’ve got it all figured out.
tomk: No, I just pay attention.
jimmy: What’s that now?
tomk: It’s why you need to do rewatches.
It’s why you need to do rewatches.
jimmy: Is that a glitch or hilarious?
tomk: Well, maybe it was there to make sure you pay attention. Also, my wifi has been buggy the the past twenty minutes or so.
jimmy: Hilarious it is!
tomk: Yeah yeah yeah. Have a distraction pizza.
jimmy: Just like Picard used on his way to Ten Forward.
But there are things Picard pays attention to.
jimmy: Like frayed fiber optic cable.
tomk: Or maybe single women working in stellar cartography.
jimmy: Because it’s a male dominated field?
tomk: Or it’s the next episode, when Picard gets his Kirk on.
jimmy: Sleeping with a green chick?
tomk: Well, romancing an officer under his command.
jimmy: Oh La La.
tomk: Is that a reference to Picard’s Frenchness?
jimmy: Can I say yes and look clever?
jimmy: Then, yes.
tomk: How clever of you. Ready to move on?
jimmy: Yippie ki-yay, Mr. Kelly.
tomk: I’ll take that as a yes.