Weekend Trek “Birthright Part One”

Jimmy and Tom both love a good Worf episode.  So why not a Worf two-parter?  That may work out.

And hey, there’s a Data subplot!  Well, at least for part one.  See below for their thoughts.

“Birthright Part One”

Worf and Data both get unexpected news about their dead fathers!

jimmy:  Androids dreaming!  Klingons and Romulans living together!  Mass hysteria!

tomk:  Oh, just do your Klingon Tai Chi.

jimmy:  That always relaxes me when I’m doing a series crossover.

tomk:  Like when you appear on the Trailer Park Boys and hate yourself for appearing on the Trailer Park Boys?

jimmy:  Yes. That requires an extra amount of Tai Chi.

tomk:  Why not just have this burrito?

And this bag of Oreos?

jimmy:  That would be better than the food on the promenade.

tomk:  Oh, I dunno.  That Singing Klingon restaurant sure is promising.

jimmy:  They do make a good risotto if you can handle the Klingon opera.

tomk:  Well, the singing Klingon that appeared on DS9 was also the voice of Bleeding Gums Murphy.

jimmy:  …I don’t know if that is a joke or not.

tomk:  It’s not.

The actor who voiced Bleeding Gums Murphy on The Simpsons also popped up in a couple episodes of DS9 as a singing Klingon chef.

jimmy:  I’ll write that in my journal as the something new I learned today.

tomk:  I learned you can visit the Promenade and not see a single DS9 cast member (unless Morn counts), but one might pop up on your ship when you aren’t looking.

jimmy:  And without asking permission.

tomk:  Julian Bashir thinks asking permission takes too long.

jimmy:  And Data didn’t much care after about 30 seconds.

tomk:  See what happens when the head of security is distracted?

jimmy:  Excellent point.

tomk:  They were probably lucky it was just Bashir.

jimmy:  Maybe it was Odo?

tomk:  All I know is it wasn’t O’Brien.

jimmy:  I was surprised he never showed up.  He was name dropped and everything.

tomk:  What a bummer. They better be baking us a big apology cake right now, roughly thirty years after the episode originally aired.

jimmy:  They couldn’t even give him a cameo in Picard.

He appeared in way more episodes than Ensign Ro.

tomk:  Yeah, but they didn’t want to blow him up

jimmy:  Respect.

tomk:  And they probably wanted to blow up a whole lot of people.  Starting with Jenny Impossible, the Future Impossible.

jimmy:  Don’t tell Jonathan.

tomk:  Why do you assume she isn’t also descended from him?

jimmy:  Man, the future is a wild place!

tomk:  It certainly is. Why, you might learn of a secret Romulan prison camp from a disguised Zefram Cochrane.

jimmy:  I wouldn’t have known it was him except I noticed his name in the credits.

tomk:  You can learn a lot from the credits.

jimmy:  Like that no one besides Bashir was going to appear from Deep Space Nine.

tomk:  What?  You didn’t see Picard arguing with Sisko over docking fees in the background?

jimmy:  Are there docking fees?

tomk:  Well, Quark gets those Starfleet personnel at his bar to pay him in something.

jimmy:  Hugs?

tomk:  Do you want to hug a Ferengi?

jimmy:  If it meant traveling to Deep Space Nine on the Enterprise, sure.

tomk:  Better check for your wallet afterwards.

jimmy:  And I thought you didn’t need money in space?

tomk:  Tell the Ferengi that.

jimmy:  When I hug them?

tomk:  At any time.

jimmy:  Actually, that’s probably good advice.

tomk:  Also, don’t hug Ferengi wives. That could get you in a different kind of trouble.

jimmy:  I should probably keep hugging anyone on the promenade to a minimum.

tomk:  Do you generally hug random people?

jimmy:  …no?

tomk:  Aren’t you sure?

jimmy:  Maybe I don’t want to admit how sure I am.

tomk:  Would you go to great lengths to be sure?  Like to put on your best ninja outfit, watch some Klingon girl bathe, and then sneak into a Romulan prison camp to find out?

jimmy:  Only after I destroyed a glass table “accidentally”.

tomk:  Was it your glass table or the Ms’s?

jimmy:  Mine?

tomk:  Good. You might need to hide at that Romulan prison camp if it was her table.

jimmy:  It seemed pretty friendly for a prison camp…hostage taking and armed guards aside.

tomk:  You didn’t see the guy who enforces sanitation rules.

jimmy:  Ugh.

tomk:  That guy gets around.

jimmy:  So, let’s talk about Alien Cromwell.  His intel is right about the survivors and the prison camp, but completely wrong about Worf’s father.  How did he know who Worf was?  Was it all just a ploy to get paid after looking Worf up in the DS9 rolodex?

tomk:  There aren’t a lot of disgraced Klingons in Starfleet.

jimmy:  Yeah, but was he just hanging around DS9 and saw Worf and researched his family tree and then approached him with a ruse just to get him to pay up?

tomk:  With all the money people in Starfleet make, yes.

jimmy:  Haha, another good point.  Where is Worf getting this money to pay him?

tomk:  He robbed a liquor store?

jimmy:  Or a prune juice store.

tomk:  Same thing.

jimmy:  Maybe I shouldn’t think about it too much.

tomk:  Absolutely. Here’s a bag of money that was not stolen from the prune juice store.

jimmy:  Awesome.  So, we’ve talked a lot about Worf.  What about the Data storyline?  Mostly filler?  An attempt to answer if androids dream of electric sheep?

tomk:  I didn’t see any sheep.

jimmy:  The answer is no then.

tomk:  Well, that’s good. You get a gold star.

jimmy:  Apparently they dream of crows and blacksmiths.

tomk:  And sometimes Spot.

jimmy:  Right.  Spot.

tomk:  What else might he dream of?

jimmy:  Tasha?

tomk:  That might be more your thing.

jimmy:  Maybe.

tomk:  

jimmy:  Not complaining.

tomk:  

jimmy:  It was interesting that Data’s hair grows (and that he can control).  That seems like a totally useless bit of technology for Soong to spend time on.  I can get imitating breathing to make him seem more human, and it does serve a function.

tomk:  Yes. It explains why we hear Brent Spiner inhale every time Data starts to speak.

jimmy:  You do love when continuity explains everything.

Or is that me?

tomk:  It’s Ryan.

jimmy:  Right.  Gotcha.

tomk:  Did you have anything else to add, or are you going to go help that robot in the basement learn how to dream?

jimmy:  Maybe Data will dream of a way to save Worf…who no one seems to notice or care is missing.

tomk:  Who needs the head of security to man the tactical station in the event of an emergency?

jimmy:  I’m sure that random guy who just stands in the back waiting for someone to leave the bridge and then fills in their spot would perform admirably.

tomk:  So admirably you don’t even know his name?

jimmy:  Do you?

tomk:  Sure. It’s Steve.

jimmy:  Damn.  You do know everything.

tomk:  Not true. I don’t know the name of that guy currently rifling through your donut stash.

jimmy:  Hmm, we better wrap this up…I gotta go!

tomk:  Well, we got part one down. I suppose next is part two.

jimmy:  I would hope so.

tomk:  Well, go save your stash from that Romulan agent and get ready for part two.

jimmy runs

Next:  “Birthright Part Two”