Hey, Jimmy and Tom managed to get halfway through The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. So, now what? Well, the second half. What else?
They start with the season two episodes “The Private War of Doctor Doom” and “Alone Against A.I.M.”
“The Private War of Doctor Doom”
Dr. Doom wants something. It may take two super teams to stop him.
jimmy: Season two really butchered the opening credits.
tomk: What? How they only kept two random lines from the theme song and they don’t even rhyme?
jimmy: And the voiceover was horrible…and only about like half the team.
tomk: Only the ones that rated their own movies at first.
Plus one Skrull.
jimmy: The narrator doesn’t know Cap’s a Skrull.
tomk: Or the narrator is that Skrull.
tomk: Yeah. Maybe he’s sending a status report back home. Plus, Cap is referred to as “the first Avenger” like that movie title.
jimmy: I noticed that.
tomk: But this is a change. Normally, you say something about the end of the episode.
jimmy: I have to keep you on your toes.
tomk: Like how you’re really Dr Jimmy Doom?
jimmy: Am I a Skrull or working for the Skrulls as well?
tomk: You’re not a Skrull. That Beaver has a big mouth. He’d tell me.
tomk: You didn’t know?
jimmy: Who really knows these days?
tomk: I would imagine the Skrulls would.
It could happen.
tomk: That says “robots”
jimmy: If you might be a robot, you might be a Skrull.
tomk: Skrulls aren’t robots.
jimmy: Maybe they are and don’t know it.
tomk: Did those Doombots look like Skrulls to you?
tomk: Did they behave like Skrulls?
tomk: Do you think Dr Doom, master of robotics, would have missed that the Skrulls were robots?
jimmy: Maybe if he’s a Skrull and not the real Doom.
tomk: Why would a Skrull be checking to see if someone else is a Skrull?
jimmy: I’m not a Skrull (I don’t think) so I don’t know.
tomk: I think it’s safe to say no one here is a Skrull. Not even Watson.
jimmy: Skrulls are jerks, but even they’re not that big of a jerk.
tomk: Kidnapping people and stealing their identities is somehow better than just being Watson?
jimmy: Hey, I don’t write the rules of the universe.
tomk: Who does?
jimmy: I don’t know. Moe?
jimmy: It’s a mystery.
tomk: Like how Doom knew there were Skrulls?
jimmy: So, did he know/suspect Sue was a Skrull or did he replace OG Sue with a Skrull?
tomk: Why would Doom help anyone else take over the planet?
jimmy: Assuming it is Doom.
tomk: It’s Doom. No one replaces the real Doom. It’s what every live action FF movie has taught us: the original cannot be replaced with an inferior copy.
jimmy: Hopefully this Doom shows up in the MCU.
tomk: You want a cartoon Doom in the MCU?
jimmy: The real Doom, not an inferior copy, Mr. Literal.
tomk: I’m Mr Kelly. “Tom” to my friends and apparently Watson
jimmy: So, how did Doom know there were Skrulls?
tomk: Are you questioning Doom?
jimmy: No. I’m asking you.
tomk: Doom didn’t say. It is not for Doom to explain things to punier intellects like yours or Reed Richards’s.
jimmy: Maybe he jotted it down on a post-it note and left it on the console in his castle and you happened to see it.
tomk: I don’t read Latverian.
jimmy: They don’t speak English?
tomk: Doom does. He went to school in America.
jimmy: I don’t think I’ve seen him speak anything but English. Though, you’re probably right about the locals speaking their own language.
tomk: Doom can’t lord it over his many enemies if they don’t understand what he’s saying.
jimmy: And it would be tough for us to read/watch.
tomk: Do subtitles not exist in Canada?
jimmy: No. Too cold.
tomk: Huh. Didn’t know words worked that way.
jimmy: Hey, I don’t write the rules of how words work.
tomk: Who does?
jimmy: I don’t know. Moe?
tomk: Lousy Moe…
jimmy: Maybe Moe is Doom. He did have that hideous face altering accident when he was Dr. Tad Winslow.
tomk: You mean…he was already a doctor?
jimmy: It’s all falling into place.
tomk: Like dominos.
Or the Thing when the Hulk decides he needs a blunt object.
jimmy: The Hulk really enjoys that relationship more than Ben.
tomk: Does the Hulk enjoy anything?
jimmy: He sure seemed to enjoy smashing Ben into things.
tomk: He may enjoy chips.
jimmy: Who doesn’t?
tomk: The anti-potatoites.
jimmy: Oh. Right. Those guys.
tomk: The Panther seems to like chips…poker chips since he won the game.
jimmy: Are you surprised that he’d be the best poker player in that group?
tomk: Do you think the other players at the table can outstrategize the Black Panther?
jimmy: No. Hence he was winning.
tomk: Could Doom beat him?
jimmy: Now that I’d like to see.
tomk: Doom doesn’t strike me as much of a card player. That or he’d flip over the table, refer to himself in the third person as a superior person, and then dramatically storm out.
jimmy: You sound like you’ve played with Doom before.
tomk: Me? Nah. I’m not much of a gamer.
jimmy: I get jokes.
tomk: Good. Have a BFG.
jimmy: Big Friendly Giant? I thought he resigned?
tomk: Nah. He just works in the warehouse.
jimmy: That’ll save on ladder costs.
tomk: That’s why we hired him.
jimmy: He could come in handy smashing Doombots.
tomk: He’s nonviolent.
jimmy: Robots don’t count.
tomk: Like the Vision, Data, the Red Tornado, and R2-D2?
jimmy: Well, those guys count. But autonomous drones do not.
tomk: Like Sparky, the Gabbing Geek mailbot?
jimmy: He’s more in the first group.
tomk: Your robo-tolerance is truly humbling.
jimmy: I like mail.
tomk: Like the fan letters from Malin Ackerman?
jimmy: She sends them to me?
tomk: Yes. Haven’t you been getting them?
jimmy: No…I might have to change my mind about Sparky.
tomk: That does explain all the weird giggling coming from Watson’s office.
jimmy: I definitely avoid that.
tomk: I think he’s swiping your mail.
jimmy: I don’t touch anything that’s been in that office.
tomk: Smart move. Have some hand sanitizer.
tomk: Well, there’s more than one Skrull, and Doom didn’t mention that.
jimmy: Like Doom is going to help out the heroes. Especially the Avengers. But especially the Fantastic Four.
tomk: And especially Bart.
jimmy: Doom’s definitely not helping Bart. Sideshow Bob is Doom’s cousin.
tomk: That information seems suspect.
jimmy: On his father’s side.
tomk: Are you making that up?
tomk: I see.
And I was gonna stop Jenny from raiding your donut stash, but now? I’m too disappointed.
jimmy: I mean, it could be true.
tomk: Well, it could also be true that Doom is a jerk.
jimmy: That’s certainly true.
tomk: But I’ll bet you were pleased to see him.
jimmy: Not going to complain about Doom.
tomk: It could have been worse. It could have the kind of Doom that changes after an intervention.
jimmy: I think that was better.
tomk: Yeah, probably.
jimmy: One of these days they’ll get Doom right.
tomk: Did they do so here?
jimmy: Sure, but this is animation.
tomk: What about the rest of the FF? I mean, the Thing and the Hulk have the same voice actor.
jimmy: Oh? I never noticed. Those voice guys can be impressive.
tomk: That actor is like the go-to guy for muscular monsters.
jimmy: He won’t be the voice of Watson then in the Gabbing Geek Adventures cartoon. He’s not very muscular.
tomk: Who will voice Watson? I mean, I think I know how your casting decisions go.
jimmy: Now I’m disturbed.
tomk: Because dead men can’t voice Watson?
jimmy: Uh, sure.
tomk: It would make Watson mute.
jimmy: I’m sold.
tomk: Good. Here’s the contract to the animation studio. I heard for you, they hired Ryan Reynolds. And for Ryan, Jimmy Kimmel.
jimmy: Is it Ironic Studios?
jimmy: Anyone in particular voice Sue, Johnny and Reed?
tomk: Not that I know of.
jimmy: Cool. They were fine.
tomk: But you got the entire FF this time. It could be the show is expanding its universe and might include more guest stars in the future.
jimmy: Any guest stars with hyphens?
tomk: Well, maybe.
jimmy: Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
tomk: But not necessarily the next episode.
jimmy: No no. Got to spread the wealth. We got the FF here. Probably be more just Avengers next time.
tomk: Or at various points in the future. Then you’ll get your Doct-or Str-ange.
jimmy: I see what you did there.
tomk: Well, you aren’t blind.
jimmy: That’s a future guest star.
tomk: But if you’d like to get to future guest stars, you should start with future episodes.
jimmy: Current episodes are fine.
tomk: Well, we could try the next one and see if there’s a guest star of note.
jimmy: That we could do.
tomk: Or we could just stop right here.
jimmy: That would be no fun.
tomk: We should always have fun. Want more fun?
tomk: Fun it is.
“Alone Against A.I.M.”
Stark Tower is under assault by A.I.M. and its newest experiment, with only an unarmored Tony Stark and a handful of Avengers there to stop them.
jimmy: Hey it’s War Machine! And a Spidey/X-Men name drop!
tomk: And talk of superhero registration!
jimmy: Nothing could possiblie go wrong.
tomk: Like trying to load a technovore onto the back of a truck style wrong?
jimmy: Yeah, no trouble there.
tomk: Well, good. Always nice to see AIM takes all the proper precautions.
jimmy: Ya know, for a bunch of scientists, they really don’t.
tomk: Well, they are evil scientists.
jimmy: Evil makes you ignore proper experiment etiquette?
tomk: You don’t care if people get hurt using your stuff.
tomk: And you make giant worm things to feed heroes and disappointing underlings to.
jimmy: That happens to the best of us.
tomk: Have you done that? Because I haven’t.
jimmy: Uh. No. Of course not.
tomk: Good. Have a muffin.
jimmy: What kind?
tomk: Your favorite kind.
tomk: And a hot cocoa.
jimmy: You’re too kind. You’re not trying to butter me up to join SHIELD are you?
tomk: Of course not.
They want the Moose, the Beaver, and Cousin Minka.
jimmy: They are the more valuable prospects.
tomk: They might want you to introduce them.
jimmy: I can do that.
tomk: And then you can sign on as a sidekick.
jimmy: Like Bucky or Jason Todd?
tomk: Maybe like Rick Jones or Snapper Carr.
jimmy: Or Ricearoni.
tomk: No thanks. I got some delicious macaroni and cheese.
jimmy: Nice. I think that was made by AIM though.
tomk: Awesome Italian Macaroni? Yup.
tomk: You should always get the best. It’s why no one wants your Tim Shortens coffee.
jimmy: I don’t drink coffee so it’s hard for me to know what’s good.
tomk: The stuff sold off the back of a wheelbarrow is not good.
jimmy: Got it. Also not good: Captain Ameriskrull having all the data from Tony’s mainframe.
tomk: I’m sure that’s fine.
jimmy: Oh. Ok good.
tomk: For the Skrulls.
tomk: But that’s for later.
jimmy: Oh. Ok good.
tomk: For now, you should worry more about AIM.
jimmy: Should I though?
tomk: Well, they did arrest the Scientist Supreme.
jimmy: Then I don’t need to worry about that.
tomk: He can sit in a. cell with MODOK.
jimmy: I hope it’s a big cell.
tomk: Standard size, I’m sure.
Besides, I think that technovore ate some people. He might be going away just long enough to get the chair. He probably shouldn’t get too comfortable.
jimmy: He’ll be free within three weeks.
tomk: Of life?
jimmy: Of jail. Are you new to the Marvel universe?
tomk: Last I checked, MCU Justin Hammer was still in jail.
jimmy: That’s because Iron Man 2 was horrible. Someone has to pay.
tomk: Or the fact it was a rich guy in prison tells you it was a fantasy.
jimmy: Was Hammer rich in the end?
tomk: Was Tony? Real world rich guys often don’t have cash so much as other assets they can use to borrow off of.
jimmy: And Tony didn’t end up in jail.
tomk: He built one instead out in the middle of the ocean.
But for this show, they used the Negative Zone.
jimmy: Until Zod breaks free. Wait…
tomk: That’s the Phantom Zone. It’s two Zones over on the other side of the Danger Zone.
tomk: So, you got a War Machine sighting.
jimmy: He knows all about the Danger Zone.
tomk: He practically lives there.
jimmy: Armors Wars is secretly Top Gun 3.
jimmy: Cruise is secretly Superior Iron Man?
tomk: No one is a superior Iron Man to Robert Downey Jr.
tomk: I think I did. Have a danish.
jimmy: Nom nom nom.
tomk: You are a much neater eater than the technovore.
jimmy: You haven’t seen me eat motherboards.
tomk: I also haven’t seen you take on the Sinister Six.
jimmy: That’s next week.
tomk: I feel bad for those guys.
jimmy: I’m not merciful.
tomk: You gonna go all Moon Knight on ‘em apparently.
jimmy: You mean black out and totally miss what happens?
jimmy: But AIM didn’t seem like much for the Avengers to worry about. Especially given recent events with Kang, Masters of Evil, etc.
tomk: Well, most of the team did sit this one out.
jimmy: Probably at the pool.
tomk: Or they were playing the Justice League in an intermural softball tournament.
jimmy: As long as it wasn’t a knife fight.
tomk: That would be silly.
jimmy: No doubt.
tomk: Besides, you probably need the whole team for a bigger leftover threat.
jimmy: A bigger leftover threat? Like, having too much potato salad?
tomk: Um, I was thinking the Masters of Evil, but you do you.
jimmy: Oh, that kind of leftover threat.
tomk: Yeah. Zemo might have made someone really mad. Someone who isn’t Captain America.
jimmy: And who might that be?
tomk: Some Asgardian.
jimmy: You won’t like her when she’s angry.
tomk: Wanna find out how angry?
jimmy: I do.
tomk: OK then.
NEXT: Tom and Jimmy will be back with more Avengers talk later. Be back soon for their thoughts on the episodes “Acts of Vengeance” and “Welcome to the Kree Empire”.
Wednesday “Quid Pro Woe”
Noteworthy Issues: Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #13 (March, 2023)
The X-Files “Talitha Cumi”