April 21, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Weekend Trek “A Fistful Of Datas”

A malfunction in the holodeck traps Worf, Alexander, and Troi in a simulation full of hostile copies of Data.

Sometimes, Star Trek can just be a little silly.  And that is A-OK as Jimmy and Tom discuss below.

“A Fistful of Datas”

Worf, Troi, and Alexander find themselves trapped in a malfunctioning Wild West holodeck adventure.

jimmy:  Bordering on silly, but oh so good.

tomk:  You always like it when Alexander finds himself in deadly peril.

jimmy:  I’m just glad he instinctively knew to hide behind that water barrel that could stop bullets.

tomk:  I would also accept a bulletproof sofa.

jimmy:  Not many of them in front of saloons.

tomk:  No, those are more action movie staples.

jimmy:  Good thing this is a spaghetti western.

tomk:  Are you asking for a plate of spaghetti?

jimmy:  No.  But if one were to appear…

tomk:  Nah, just this fettuccine alfredo.

jimmy:  That’ll do.  At least it’s not Spot food.

tomk:  Or Data’s poetry everywhere.

jimmy:  Wouldn’t Riker know the words were wrong and stop reading them?

tomk:  Does Riker look like someone who reads scripts in advance?

jimmy:  No…but it wasn’t their first time doing the scene.

tomk:  This is why you should use hardcopies.

And get Picard for the butler.

jimmy:  He was not impressed it was not the lead.

tomk:  He said he wasn’t much of an actor.  And he said it so convincingly because Patrick Stewart is a great actor.

jimmy:  Haha, so true.  But he was put off when she said it was a small role.

tomk:  He’s a short man and all.

jimmy:  He’s 5’10”. Not that short.

tomk:  I am 6’5” and could crush such a man with one misplaced stride!

jimmy:  Well, most are short to you. That doesn’t make them short in the world eye view.

tomk:  Oh, and you’re probably four meters tall with your  Canadian metric system.

jimmy:  I have no idea.

tomk:  Like how Worf went to Deadwood and didn’t meet Al Swearengen?

jimmy:  Good. Cause Deadwood sucked after like episode 4.

tomk:  Would it have been better if Worf was there?

jimmy:  Isn’t everything?

tomk:  Nothing could make Morbius better.

jimmy:  I wouldn’t know.

tomk:  Or you did and blacked it out of your memory, like that time Ryan took you to that musical theater celebration in Halifax.

jimmy:  I don’t remember that.

tomk:  See?

jimmy:  Hey, you’re right!

tomk:  But where would we be without a holodeck full of Datas?

jimmy:  Worf would be relieved.  Especially without that last Data.

tomk:  Barclay is such a dead man when Worf finds him.

jimmy:  Probably why he never appears again.

tomk:  Well, not until a later episode.

And the First Contact movie.

Plus a lot of Voyager episodes.

jimmy:  Hey, I had a 50/50 shot.

tomk:  Worf had worse odds without the forcefield.

jimmy:  Good thing Worf knew how to rig that up.

tomk:  Yeah, with help from known engineering genius Troi.

jimmy:  Known engineering genius and part time smoker.

tomk:  She’s a smoker, a joker, a midnight toker, and Geordi’s study buddy.

And Riker would probably argue Troi is always smokin’.

jimmy:  He would.  And what was the story with Geordi’s “beard”?  I thought it the beginning it would come into play on the holodeck, make him look more cowboy, but he never even appeared there.

tomk:  You just want Data’s beard back instead?

jimmy:  Well, yeah.


Not as good as the facial hair in the holodeck.

jimmy:  The holodeck facial hair program is pretty advanced.

tomk:  Except when it breaks.

jimmy:  Lol

tomk:  That guy usually shows up when another show’s holodeck malfunctions.

jimmy:  Haha, how have I not seen that before?

tomk:  You’ve been rewatching the wrong franchise?

jimmy:  Are you trying to ignite the age old Trek vs Wars fight?

tomk:  Are you ignoring the age old Muppet vs Godzilla war?

jimmy:  I can’t ignore what I don’t know about.

tomk:  It wasn’t pretty. Radioactive felt was everywhere.

jimmy:  That’s probably what shorted out the interface between the computer and Data’s brain.  They accidentally used that felt to make Data’s hair.


You know what?  I’m gonna let you have that one.

jimmy:  :slightly_smiling_face:

tomk:  Now why don’t you try out the new office holodeck?

jimmy:  Nice.  I’ll run this “The Good, The Bad, and the Watson” program.

tomk:  You mean the one where all the other characters eventually turn into Watson?

jimmy:  Worst.  Program.  Ever.

tomk:  You picked it.

jimmy:  I was just trying to make a Sergio Leone joke, but didn’t consider the consequences.

tomk:  This is why Worf wants to speak to you after he’s done talking to Barclay.

jimmy:  Uh oh.

tomk:  I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s a lot of Watsons, not Datas.

jimmy:  One Watson is bad enough.  At least on Trek we get to see them let Brent Spiner show what an underappreciated actor he is.

tomk:  He’s one of the most popular characters.  Wouldn’t it be better to say Marina Sirtis is the underappreciated actor?

jimmy:  Being popular and being appreciated are two different things.  He’s not exactly given anything to stretch his acting chops on with Data.

tomk:  Being a mostly emotionless android who largely holds still is no easy task.

jimmy:  Fair enough.

tomk:  I mean, you don’t think Michael Dorn’s general awesomeness is somehow less impressive.

jimmy:  No, but Worf has a variety of emotions. Sort of.

tomk:  He sure does have multiple levels of anger and irritation.

jimmy:  And one level of loving being a cowboy.

tomk:  Wouldn’t you love to be a cowboy?

On a steel horse you could ride though you may be wanted dead or alive.

jimmy:  Hopefully alive.

tomk:  Obviously. No one likes a dead Jimmy.

jimmy:  Especially you. But especially me.

tomk:  And probably the Ms sleeping next to you.

jimmy:  Hopefully. She would get all that sweet sweet life insurance money.

tomk:  Let’s not test that theory.

jimmy:  Agreed. So, did you enjoy the silliness?  We haven’t even talked about non-Holodeck Data acting and talking like a cowboy.

tomk:  That should have been a bigger clue.

jimmy:  Well, they did know Worf and Troi were stuck in the Ancient West on the holodeck.

tomk:  No one seemed anxious to get them out of there. Did no one miss the ship’s counselor and head of security?

jimmy:  I can see them not missing Troi, but Worf?  That said, Picard did yell at him to take a vacation. And I’m not sure they were trapped that long.

tomk:  Barclay was probably waiting outside to start his Roman orgy program.

jimmy:  With a ship that big, and roughly 1000 people on board, you’d think they’d have more than one holodeck.

tomk:  Other people being terrorized by Datas.

jimmy:  That only happens to the bridge crew and their children.

tomk:  Worf probably has more excuses to avoid time with his son now.

jimmy:  Or wants to spend more time with him on the holodeck.

tomk:  That’s a better conclusion.

jimmy:  Guess we’ll find out in the Season 7 episode “For A Few Datas More”.

tomk:  Um, about that…

jimmy:  Yes?

tomk:  That episode may not exist.

jimmy:  Dang.

tomk:  Lots of weird things exist, just not that. I mean someone made this:

jimmy:  “For A Few Datas More” would have been better.

tomk:  Probably. But all I know for certain is if you threaten Alexander, Worf will take you out to the curb like it’s, you know….

jimmy:  And that’s never good.

tomk:  Well, what is good? Should we let Data make ethical decisions about new potential life forms?

jimmy:  Yes?

tomk:  Would you want to see how that would turn out?

jimmy:  Yes.

tomk:  Well, good.  Data likes other robots it turns out.

jimmy:  Yes!

tomk:  Ready?

jimmy:  Yes.?!

tomk:  I think I need to teach you about proper punctuation between episode chats, but here goes.

Next:  “The Quality of Life”