Going Through The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Part Eleven

Jimmy and Tom are coming up to the end of the first season (of two) of The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, so it stands to reason the series will start to wrap up some storylines.

Like what to do with Ultron or the Masters of Evil. The guys have some thoughts below.

“The Ultron Imperative”

Ultron gains a new body and a new arsenal in order to destroy all life on Earth.

jimmy: Steps to defeating Ultron:

Write a program telling him he’s as much of a jerk as the rest of us.
Relax and have some schwarma.

tomk: It helps to get that first part faster to better enjoy the second.

jimmy: Sometimes it takes a while and a resurrected God of Thunder.

tomk: You need that resurrected God of Thunder when Cap is in the hospital, Hulk is calmed down, Jan is no longer immune to attacks, Batman is in another universe, and Fury is hiding behind a haystack for some reason.

jimmy: Fury knew what was likely coming and didn’t want to get Ultron brain scanned.

tomk: Maybe he should have made sure Hill couldn’t be either.

jimmy: Fury ain’t got no time for that.

tomk: He should make time. That’s important.

jimmy: Maybe his hidden hay bale stuff is more important.

tomk: Than preventing nuclear annihilation?

jimmy: Even Thor said there was worse than that coming.

tomk: Yeah, on Asgard. Probably.

jimmy: Speaking of nuclear annihilation, couldn’t Ultron have programmed the warheads to detonate without taking off? Of at the very least, reprogram them to go straight up on launch and pretty much come right back down? Having to wait for the Russian nuke to reach the US and vice versa seemed hella inefficient.

tomk: Stop giving killer robots ideas, Jimmy.

jimmy: Oh right. Sorry.

tomk: Besides, there’s lots of places without nukes. Sending rockets take out the rest all at once.

jimmy: A combination of both then.

tomk: Stop giving the killer robot ideas, Jimmy.

jimmy: Oh right. Sorry.

It’s almost like there was some kind of plot or something to keep the nukes from detonating right away.

tomk: Are you saying that Ultron somehow set things up so the Avengers would learn how futile resisting him was?

jimmy: Ultron. Or the writers.

tomk: So you’re saying this wasn’t an improv cartoon?

jimmy: That’s very hard on the animators wrists.

tomk: It’s all on computers these days.

jimmy: Oh. Then, maybe?

tomk: Yeah, but that allows Ultron to take over.

jimmy: And we can’t have that or there’d be no episode next week.

tomk: Well, they could just do the Ultron Power Half Hour. It’s kinda like the Hypnotoad’s show.

jimmy: All glory to the hypnotoad…

tomk: Jimmy?

jimmy: Hypnotoad?

tomk: Jimmy, wear these special glasses for the Hypnotoad show.

jimmy: I’ll be back in a jiffy!

tomk: I didn’t mean now…oh, forget it.

jimmy: The moral of the story is, Ultron’s not very bright.

tomk: He just has no imagination or the concept of metaphor.

jimmy: And he’ll never be back, so we’ll never know if he continues to evolve beyond his programming.

tomk: Right. Bad guys never come back on cartoons like this. It’s why the Joker only appeared in one episode of Batman the Animated Series.

jimmy: The one after the one Jenny watched.

tomk: She was busy raiding your donut stash again.

jimmy: I’ve got to stop buying those.

tomk: Just charge them to the company account.

jimmy: Or…I could build an AI sentry to stand guard over them.

tomk: I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jimmy.

jimmy: What could possiblie go wrong?

tomk: The Avengers know more about that sort of thing and keep screwing it up. I don’t think we’ll do much better.

jimmy: Are you saying we’re not as smart as the Avengers?

tomk: Depends on which Avengers.

jimmy: The Great Lakes Avengers?

tomk: Well, them and the Hulk. Plus Hawkeye.

jimmy: Are you telling Hulk he’s not smart?

tomk: Not in robotics.

jimmy: He’s good at disassembly.

tomk: Not quite the same thing. And Ultron was better in this episode.

jimmy: Just like Tom 6 was better than Tom 5.

tomk: I’m still the original. You got mixed up with Watson 69.

jimmy: That was the worst version yet.

tomk: Even worse than what Ultron 6 nearly did to everybody?

jimmy: Much worse.

tomk: You do have high standards.

jimmy: I will say, this is as still a better Ultron than what the MCU gave us.

tomk: You don’t like one that sings creepy Disney songs?

jimmy: No. No, I don’t.

tomk: Well, I suppose we can forget about Ultron for a while now if not forever.

jimmy: Thor says we have bigger things to worry about.

tomk: Well, I suppose the Enchantress might still be up to no good.

jimmy: Is she ever not?

tomk: I don’t know. Should we find out?

jimmy: We should.

tomk: Good, because the Masters of Evil were never quite apprehended.

jimmy: I see where this is going.

tomk: That’s right. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants attacks in the next episode.

jimmy: I didn’t see that coming.

tomk: Good, because this isn’t X-Men.

“This Hostage Earth

The Masters of Evil return!

jimmy: How’s that for timing? Hawkeye calls someone the Hypno-Hustler.

tomk: That was an awfully mean thing to call…that guy.

jimmy: Right?

tomk: I mean, whathisname probably has feelings.

jimmy: Yeah, but they’re all bad.

tomk: Well, I might be less of a good citizen if people kept calling me “Hypno-Hustler” or something.

jimmy: He was good enough to make the cut for Zemo’s team, so I guess he’s ok.

tomk: You always need one guy to make the snack runs.

jimmy: You know Enchantress is not doing that.

tomk: Gray Gargoyle isn’t either for some reason.

jimmy: He only beat a foe that you thought would be a problem. Makes sense to get rid of him.

tomk: Yeah, not like they might have other problematic foes.

jimmy: Like a guy with a mind control collar.

tomk: He’s really good with a sword and a magic gun too.

jimmy: And hating Captain America.

tomk: That doesn’t require much effort if you’re a big enough jerk.

jimmy: Watson doesn’t hate Captain America. Are you saying Zemo is a bigger jerk than Watson?

tomk: Isn’t Zemo a Nazi?

jimmy: Yes.

tomk: Well, Watson isn’t. Nazis are always bigger jerks.

jimmy: Ok. I’ll give you that one.

tomk: We might need to talk about your anti-Watson prejudice sometime.

jimmy: Or we can talk about cartoons.

tomk: Yes, we can.

jimmy: It’s hunting season!

tomk: What are you hunting? Deals? Pizza specials? Avengers?

jimmy: Me? Deals. Masters of Evil? Avengers.

tomk: Got any good deals on anti-Masters of Evil stuff?

jimmy: I wish. I’d make a fortune.

tomk: Maybe some Norn Stones then?

jimmy: I wish. Was that a comic thing?

tomk: Yes.

jimmy: I guess most things are. Was new to me.

tomk: Maybe if Spider-Man used them…

jimmy: Exactly. I imagine they are from Thor mythology.

tomk: That I don’t know. Lots of Thor stuff was made up for different comics.

jimmy: First appeared in Journey Into Mystery #116, March 1965.

tomk: So you look it up after you ask me if they came from mythology?

jimmy: You are usually the knower of all things.

tomk: Like how the metric system works?

jimmy: Do you, Tom?

tomk: Nope. All kinds of power of ten stuff. My car gets 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene. That’s 40 rods to the hogshead.

And I like it that way.

jimmy: Put it in “H”!

tomk: I might have to while some elf gives me the stink eye.

jimmy: So where did Zemo get the “God” controlling collar?

tomk: The Red Skull cracked Asgardian control tech during World War II in that very castle. Weren’t you paying attention?

jimmy: Oh, right. Never mind.

tomk: That’s OK. You can at least have a Snickers bar.

jimmy: They are satisfying.

tomk: And you weren’t yourself.

jimmy: Was I Hypno Hustler?

tomk: Worse. Watson.

jimmy:

tomk: Feel better with that Snickers?

jimmy: Better than Thor for sure.

tomk: Thor prevailed.

jimmy: Until his brother showed up.

tomk: Hank also prevailed. Despite being a quitter.

And someone gave the Hulk a magic axe.

jimmy: That always works out well.

tomk: That axe wasn’t magic. It was just heavy.

jimmy: Heavy…with magic?

tomk: No, just heavy.

jimmy: Interesting. Joke ruined.

tomk:

jimmy: That’s all that matters.

tomk: What about the judges?

jimmy: Them too.

tomk: Well, is that everyone who counts around here?

I’d say the Moose and the Beaver look disappointed, but they always look that way.

jimmy: They’re definitely hard to please.

tomk: Well, lots of stuff from the Nine Realms looked hard to please too.

jimmy: And then there’s the toughest critic of all, that tree.

tomk: Groot?

jimmy: See. Tough.

tomk: Regardless, it does look like the Avengers are in a lot of trouble.

jimmy: Aren’t they always?

tomk: There was that time they had a birthday party for Steve. Everyone had a lovely time, and everyone had a good laugh watching Thor play “pin the tail on the donkey”.

jimmy: I must have missed that one.

tomk: It was the one that crossed over with Justice League Unlimited.

jimmy: There’s your answer, fish bulb.

tomk: Well, no Avengers on Earth. Maybe if Wonder Man had taken the Panther’s offer…

jimmy: We’ve done this song and dance with Wondy before.

tomk: Yeah, well, maybe if this show got a third season. Some of their plans were foiled by the cancellation after two seasons.

jimmy: Spoilers, Tom!!

tomk: Spoilers for nonexistent episodes?

jimmy: Spoilers for unfinished storylines.

And I was kidding.

tomk: Are you sure?

jimmy: Probably.

tomk: Well, are you curious where the Avengers went after the Masters got stomped or ran away scared?

jimmy: Always.

tomk: Shall we discover Loki’s grand plan with the big season finale? Two episodes left at this point.

jimmy: Le’ts go!

tomk: You sure are psyched. I hope it’s worth the trip for you.

NEXT: Come back soon as Tom and Jimmy finish off the first season of the show with the episodes “The Fall of Asgard” and “A Day Unlike Any Other”.