June 23, 2024

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Weekend Trek “Schisms”

Something is causing members of the crew to lose sleep...

Sometimes, Star Trek does horror.

And sometimes, they do it very well.

Like here.


Something is causing members of the crew to lose sleep and time.

jimmy:  Ironically it took me two attempts to get through this one as I fell asleep.

tomk:  Jimmy, have you been pulled through weird alien portals again?

jimmy:  Today?

tomk:  Any day?

jimmy:  That doesn’t happen to everyone?

tomk:  Not I.

jimmy:  Hmm. Those portal guys got a lot of explaining to do!

tomk:  They probably work for Evil Wesley.

jimmy:  Probably?

tomk:  Well, I don’t speak click click clickish.

jimmy:  Maybe they were just wishing Riker a nice day at work?

tomk:  Before or after they severed and reattached his arm?

jimmy:  Hmm. After.

tomk:  Doesn’t sound very nice to me.

jimmy:  Maybe they improved the arm?  Maybe it was about to break anyway in some kind of holodeck accident.

tomk:  Did his arm look like it was working better to you?

jimmy:  Well, not worse.

tomk:  You seem a little too friendly with aliens who do medical experiments on Data, Worf, Geordi, Riker, the woman at the helm, some dead guy, and a random woman in Troi’s support group.

jimmy:  Man she was a terrible actor.

tomk:  The aliens took out her acting organs.

jimmy:  Haha. Nice.

I also liked that the table they created in the holodeck looked almost nothing like the final table at the end. Most notably, it wasn’t on an angle.

tomk:  Well, they asked Geordi to describe a table despite the fact he probably took his VISOR off to sleep.

jimmy:  Hmm. You could probably tell if the table was slanted, but you raise an interesting point.

tomk:  Also, turns out they really just described a Klingon dentist’s office.

jimmy:  Klingons have dentists?

tomk:  Someone needs to keep those chompers sharp.

jimmy:  More of a filing thing than a cleaning thing then.

tomk:  It’s tooth care.

jimmy:  Do the Klingons have a tooth fairy?

tomk:  Klingon children lie in wait for her.

jimmy:  That’s their first kill.

tomk:  See.  You get it now. Unlike those robed weirdos.

jimmy:  Who were still very humanoid for living in a different dimension of subspace.

tomk:  So they would have you believe.  They might have been sitting on each other’s shoulders.

jimmy:  Or were three rabbits in a trenchcoat.

tomk:  Three ducks sometimes happens.

jimmy:  Same thing.

tomk:  Ducks and rabbits are the same thing?

jimmy:  Exactly.

tomk:  You might want to talk to a zoologist, Jimmy.

jimmy:  Either way, not the highest of tech costumes on those guys.

tomk:  You would rather some mid 90s era CGI?

jimmy:  No. Good point.

tomk:  How about a puppet?  Especially an obvious one?

jimmy:  Hmm…maybe I should stop complaining.

tomk:  But what fun would that be?

jimmy:  None. 🙂

tomk:  More fun than being the subject of painful alien experimentation.

jimmy:  Were they painful?  Ok, well, maybe that last red shirt whose blood turned into glue, but prior to that, they only noticed because they were tired.

tomk:  Worf had PTSD.

jimmy:  Or that barber is just really bad.

tomk:  He cuts everyone’s hair. Even Picard’s.

jimmy:  And when Picard started on the Enterprise he looked like this!

tomk:  Slightly bemused?

jimmy:  Slightly.

tomk:  Jimmy, you seem inclined to blame everyone but the aliens that kidnap people in their sleep, steal their time, and remove and reattach limbs.

jimmy:  Oh I blame them. Since I doubt it was the bears.

tomk:  Unless under those robes they were space bears.

jimmy:  Mind.  Blown.

tomk:  Gotta watch out for weird alien bears.

jimmy:  Were Care Bears aliens?

tomk:  Were they from Earth?

jimmy:  Were they on Earth?

tomk:  Where on any globe can you find Care-A-Lot?

jimmy:  Anyone could miss Care-A-Lot, all tucked away down there.

tomk:  Antarctica?

jimmy:  They are bears. At least they don’t severe arms.

tomk:  As far as we know.

jimmy:  Dark.

tomk:  This was a dark episode.

jimmy:  Indeed. Darker than usual for Trek.

tomk:  Maybe we need something lighter. Something with puppies.


tomk:  And maybe Q.

jimmy:  Are there puppies?

tomk:  The next episode has dogs and Q.

jimmy:  I do like both of those things.

tomk:  We could check that out if you want to stop making excuses for the Don’t-Care Bears that help Jenny raid your donut stash.

jimmy:  Sure, if you’ve got nothing more to add on the dimensional doctors…actually, one last thing. The ending certainly felt like they were setting these things up as recurring bad guys, but I doubt we see them again.

tomk:  Well, they could. And the Enterprise crew doesn’t really know much about them even after all that. That could make them even scarier. Like, did they think they were dealing with intelligent beings, or did they know they were and didn’t care?

jimmy:  Do you mean did the aliens know they were dealing with intelligent beings?

tomk:  Yes.

Whatever they consider intelligent.

jimmy:  I would imagine they did, but didn’t care.

tomk:  I guess some people are just cruel, Jimmy.

jimmy:  Uh, yeah. Like that.

tomk:  No one knows what to make of garbage day.

jimmy:  Maybe it’s a good thing I missed it this week.

tomk:  Does the Ms think so?

jimmy:  Better than me being dead.

tomk:  Well, I think a random clip from one bad movie shouldn’t keep you from turning Casa de Impossible into the other city dump.

jimmy:  We’ll see next week.


Or maybe the Moose can take care of it.  Animals can be helpful.

jimmy:  I knew it was the bears!

tomk:  The helpful bears?

jimmy:  This time.

tomk:  I think we need to get away from bears, garbage, and alien medical experiments.  You’re going a bit off the deep end.  Let’s just go find that nice Q episode and move on.

jimmy:  Qreffic.


Next:  “True Q”