Going Through The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Part Nine

Hey, these chats have been coming out behind-the-scenes faster than I can transcribe them. I fell a bit behind, but I hope to catch up as soon as I can.

That means I for right now, I got the transcript ready for Jimmy and my chats for The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes episodes “The Kang Dynasty” and “The Casket of Ancient Winters”.

“The Kang Dynasty”

The Avengers take the fight to Kang’s Damocles Base!

jimmy: Kang’s really not letting this Captain America thing go.

tomk: Would you if it meant you could take one of your greatest loves out of a stasis tube?

jimmy: Maybe he should team up with Mister Freeze.

tomk: Different kind of stasis.

jimmy: Hot vs cold tube.

tomk: Well, time vs temperature.

jimmy: Like how long to leave in your pizza rolls and not burn them?

tomk: …sure.

jimmy: So, are there pizza rolls?

tomk: Did you want some?

jimmy: You don’t?

tomk: Well, I have some fresh out of the oven, but you can’t have any if you’ve ever done any sort of time travel.

jimmy: Dang. Looks like I’ll have to bake my own.

tomk: Have you been doing time travel, Jimmy?

jimmy: I need to catch up on The List somehow.

tomk: Well, next time, consider whether pizza rolls or The List is a higher priority.

jimmy: And we still don’t know what Cap did/does. But it’s a betrayal of some kind apparently.

tomk: Maybe what he did wrong was defeat Kang.

jimmy: Interesting. But doesn’t fit Kang’s betrayal narrative.

tomk: So, you suddenly believe Kang is always right?

jimmy: Well, one assumes since he’s from the future he knows what happened.

tomk: Really? History changed. That’s why he came back.

jimmy: Now who believes everything Kang says?

tomk: History did change. I didn’t say we should believe his reasons for what caused the change.

jimmy: It probably wasn’t Captain America at all. More than likely, someone like Watson.

tomk: I might have said USAgent, but you be you.

jimmy: Maybe Watson is USAgent.

tomk: Nah.

jimmy: Phew.

tomk: Watson might be Iron Man’s stunt double.

jimmy: Iron Man, the quick study.

tomk: Iron Man uses the double to distract bad guys.

jimmy: And an Ultron.

tomk: Again, I am sure having an Ultron on hand for all that won’t lead to troubles later. Not for ages.

jimmy: Is that a pun?

tomk: If it is, it’s one I have used before.

jimmy: Did the Avengers space suits remind you of the suits in Endgame?

tomk: Not Hulk’s.

jimmy: That’s true.

tomk: Hawkeye’s was designed to hold his cowl.

jimmy: Typical superhero trope.

tomk: Doesn’t your spacesuit have a beer cozy?

jimmy: And a place for chips.

tomk: What about the keys to the Impossicar?

jimmy: Just need a retina scan to get into that.

tomk: Kang has that too.

jimmy: Is there anything he doesn’t have?

tomk: A girlfriend he can talk to?

jimmy: Ouch. Cold blooded.

tomk: You asked.

jimmy: He’ll have lots of time (ahem) to think about what he’d say to her while in that jail cell.

tomk: By the time he gets out, it might be the future time he came from.

jimmy: Nah. No one stays in jail longer than a few weeks in comics.

tomk: What about all his cronies?

jimmy: Didn’t they all go back to the future?

tomk: What future?

jimmy: Oh. Well, so much for those guys.

tomk: But they saved Princess Romana. Or Ravana. Or whatever her name is.

jimmy: Maybe they’re hanging out with Mr Fantastic and HERBIE.

tomk: Or watching that princess in Damocles Base.

jimmy: That’s where Mr Fantastic is too!

tomk: You really wanna see Reed Richards? Was Dr Strange 2 not enough?

jimmy: Was it for you?

tomk: …no…

jimmy: There you go.

tomk: But it was enough Black Bolt.

jimmy: Enough or too much?

tomk: Well, Anson Mount got to come back and show what he could do in that outfit. It’s not his fault Reed told Wanda what he could do before he did it.

jimmy: Good thing Reed says nothing here then.

tomk: He’s probably gettin’ freaky with Sue.

jimmy: Was she there? I guess it can be hard to tell.

tomk: He can stretch. She turns invisible. They have interesting times in private.

jimmy: If he can find her.

tomk: She’s right behind you.

jimmy: Uh oh. Maybe we should talk about something else. Like creepy Ultron powering on near the end?

tomk: He has an ant’s face. Nothing creepy there.

jimmy: Nope.

And you haven’t mentioned Hank getting knocked out again. All these concussions can’t be good for the cranium.

tomk: This whole episode was set up to thin the Avengers ranks until the real hero could save the day…Wasp.

jimmy: Funny how that happens?

tomk: Thor went down first.

jimmy: Saving them all and most of New York in the process.

tomk: He’s noble that way.

jimmy: That’s why the ladies like him.

tomk: The ladies like you because you are a friend to all and have a cool accent. Especially when you shout, “FOR MIDGARD!”

jimmy: Yes, I know why they like me. But we’re talking about Thor.

tomk: I can’t always tell you two apart.

jimmy: He’s animated.

tomk: So are you when the hyphen is forgotten.

jimmy: Heh. Very true.

tomk: But knocking out a heavy hitter early increases the stakes.

jimmy: Indeed. Unlike knocking out Hank, which didn’t do much.

tomk: Hank is just playing dead at this point so people won’t bother him.

jimmy: He’s not big on the superhero thing, so sometimes he just wants a break.

tomk: He gets all his best ideas while lying on the ground.

jimmy: Explains a lot.

tomk: No one bothers him down there.

jimmy: I’ll have to try that.

tomk: Watson would just step on you.

jimmy: Oh right. I did try that before.

tomk: And don’t try it outside. He’ll just fetch a lawnmower.

jimmy: Ok. No more lying down near the office for me.

tomk: Good idea. You have some less considerate coworkers than the Avengers who have the Hulk hanging around all the time.

jimmy: He tries. Who knew punching the time stream would be futile?

tomk:

jimmy: Oh, now you tell them!

tomk: I wasn’t there.

jimmy: And I suppose that’s the animators fault?

tomk: No. My boss made me work late that night.

jimmy: He sounds like a douche.

tomk: Eh, it just means I goIs it going to get…frosty?t in to help by hitching a ride of a flying Winnebago.

jimmy: That you with the tail?

tomk: No, he’s the Uber driver.

jimmy: So with Kang dispatched, something a bit lower key next time I suppose?

tomk: Well, maybe you should bring a jacket.

jimmy: Is it going to get…frosty?

tomk: Maybe a bit.

jimmy: I’ll bring gloves too.

tomk: Good idea. Ready?

jimmy: Ready.

“The Casket of Ancient Winters”

Thor and Iron Man need to stop bickering if they’re going to stop Malekith the Accursed.

jimmy: I think someone opened the casket of ancient winters around here last week.

tomk: Was it Malekith?

jimmy: I would assume so. That said, all the snow is gone now, so maybe technology and magic teamed up to close it.

tomk: It was a very warm day before it started snowing. Plus, some guy might have been tossing fireballs.

jimmy: And then it was clobbering time.

tomk: But you didn’t see Reed Richards.

jimmy: Or Sue. Or did I?

tomk: She’s still behind you. And you keep asking for Reed.

jimmy: Asking? Nah.

tomk: Demanding?

jimmy: Do I seem like the demanding type?

tomk: When it comes to hyphens, chips, and possibly certain television programs, maybe.

jimmy: Sometimes you gotta do what’s right.

tomk: Like put aside your prejudices against science or magic to beat a sort of dead elf?

jimmy: Only sort of dead?

tomk: Does he look dead to you?

Or alive?

jimmy: Not quite dead.

tomk: Enchantress said something about how he got out of the land of the dead.

jimmy: And was bringing his buddies back from the dead.

tomk: As one does.

jimmy:You’re not going to bring back your enemies.

tomk: What if you want to kill them a second time like Emperor Joker did with Batman?

jimmy: If you’re insane, then yes, maybe you do.

tomk: You better hope Watson never gains that sort of power after all the crap you talk about him then.

jimmy: He don’t scare me.

tomk: He’s right behind you with a cosmic cube.

jimmy: Hopefully Sue takes him out.

tomk: That would be nice of her.

jimmy: Wouldn’t it though?

tomk: So, you live through the nine month Canadian winter. Why didn’t you lead your team to help Iron Man and Thor?

jimmy: I forgot to charge my phone, so I missed their call.

tomk: You couldn’t tell by looking outside?

jimmy: It always looks that way.

tomk: Right. Newfoundland.

jimmy: Plus, I knew those guys could handle it.

tomk: If their call didn’t get through, how did you know they were there?

jimmy: Us superheroes just know.

tomk: Uh-huh.

jimmy: At least we didn’t get the call and decide to keep working on our tans.

tomk: Hawkeye’s tan lines were an impressive animation detail.

But it’s better than forgetting the Hulk was in the pool.

jimmy: Haha, true about the tan lines.

tomk: Does the Hulk fear shrinkage?

jimmy: No.

tomk: Does Hank?

jimmy: He’s no Hulk.

tomk: Obviously. Hulk tends to stay conscious longer.

jimmy: Even frozen.

tomk: Hey, he got out of that frozen pool.

It’s not like he needed Hank, off playing with Ultron some more. And no problems will come of that.

jimmy: I can’t forsee any.

tomk: And we’re both pretty sharp. I’m sure we’d know if Ultron was going to turn bad.

jimmy: We would. Like there’d be some kind of sign like him becoming more violent or his eyes turning red.

tomk: There are drops for red eyes.

jimmy: Are there drops for more violent?

tomk: Those are made of PCP.

jimmy: That has the opposite effect.

tomk: Not for robots.

jimmy: Oh. Then that’s fine then.

tomk: Yeah, well, what works on Dark Elves?

jimmy: Technomagic apparently.

tomk: Do we have any of that in the basement?

jimmy: If Jenny hasn’t used it all.

tomk: Well, that’s good. Also good the Avengers beat that lousy elf.

jimmy: All well and good but winter’s still coming.

tomk: Are we going to watch the final season of Game of Thrones now?

jimmy: Is it out yet?

tomk: I somehow suspected that would be your answer.

jimmy: You know me too well.

tomk: Well, maybe this cold war would have gone very differently as a hot one. Imagine how much worse it could have been if, I dunno, a cosmic cube were involved.

jimmy: MODOK doesn’t have a cosmic cube. He said so.

tomk: Von Strucker might not believe him.

jimmy: Or anyone for that matter.

tomk: Should he?

jimmy: Probably not.

tomk: Wanna find out?

jimmy: I do.

tomk: Maybe it’s time for you to learn the truth.

jimmy: Can I handle it?

tomk: Can you get Thor back to Asgard?

jimmy: Today?

tomk: I’m guessing that’s a no. You might as well learn the truth.