Going Through The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Part Seven

Well, it has been a while…for me. I’ve been too busy to post some of these transcripts. But Jimmy and I did get more The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes chats done. What did we think of the episodes “459” and “Widow’s Sting”? See below for details.

“459”

An alien robot’s arrival on Earth might be too much for the Avengers. Fortunately, there’s an expert on-hand.

jimmy: Avengers Vs Predator.

tomk: You sure it wasn’t more of a Terminator?

jimmy: A Predanator maybe?

tomk: Lousy Kree. All so Alien.

jimmy: Alipredanator?

tomk: Jimmy, this is based on old Marvel books, not old Dark Horse books.

jimmy: Well, Marvel owns Aliens and Predator now, so you never know.

tomk: That just disappoints some folks.

jimmy: He’s been disappointed since Robocop 3 came out.

tomk: Him and everyone else. That might be why the Kree Sentry-459 showed up in the first place.

jimmy: Any significance to the number?

tomk: It looked cool?

jimmy: Good enough.

tomk: And it can stop anything…except ants.

jimmy: They’re a bitch to get rid of.

tomk: That Sentry decided the only thing to do is nuke the planet because it couldn’t handle the ants.

jimmy: I’ve thought about nuking the ones in my back yard.

tomk: That’s a bit extreme.

jimmy: You haven’t met these ants. They’re jerks.

tomk: But it will ruin your yard, including the Moose’s prize flower bed.

jimmy: That’s true. I’ll just let the alien handle it.

tomk: You’re going to let your Wookiee neighbor handle it?

jimmy: Ants are a well known Wookie delicacy.

tomk: Ok, but that has nothing to do with Hank’s discovering of wolf ash.

jimmy: Poor little wolfie.

tomk: He was probably fine, just hiding behind a tree until the ants took that Sentry down.

jimmy: Then that wasn’t wolf “ash”.

tomk: Well, then Hank probably should keep his fingers out of it.

jimmy: And many other things.

tomk: Besides, I think I should be nicer to Hank, even if he is fictional. He went to the hospital this time.

jimmy: And right after he redeemed himself in your eyes by almost single-handedly defeating the Masters of Evil, he got big and got knocked down again.

tomk: Well, that Sentry was knocking everyone down…except the ants.

jimmy: I think you give the ants too much credit. They revealed him when he was invisible, but that’s it. After that, nowhere to be seen.

tomk: Ants are smart. They knew to get the hell out of there.

jimmy: Smarter than the Avengers then.

tomk: Smarter than Marv-ell for sure. He knew what that thing could do and still opted to fight it.

jimmy: That’s why he’s blue, I mean, a hero.

tomk: After that fight, he’s probably black-and-blue.

jimmy: Zing!

tomk: And hey, it’s Carol!

jimmy: I was a little confused at first as I thought she already would have powers for some reason, but it ends up being her origin story.

tomk: Yes. And she will be an Avenger…eventually.

jimmy: Who doesn’t?

tomk: Ezra Miller. The one kid from Stranger Things. J Jonah Jameson. Titania. Watson.

jimmy: All understandable omissions.

tomk: It’s gonna be awesome when Batman, Freddy Krueger, Jan Brady, and the Moose all show up.

jimmy: That would be awesome!

tomk: But for now, Carol won’t be around for a while.

jimmy: So this was a much closer depiction of the Kree/Skrull war than done by the MCU, but I don’t remember Mar-vell being blue.

tomk: To my knowledge, he usually isn’t.

jimmy:

Either way, certainly truer than the MCU, though I don’t know if Carol’s origin is closer to her comic book roots…as I’m not sure what they are.

tomk: I think it is.

Unless her origin is really she was the second cousin to David S. Pumpkins, and one Halloween night, while waiting the Great Pumpkin, a flash of light from a Kree starship zapped the entire field, giving a vast array of powers and abilities to a lot of large squash and Carol. She used her powers to clean up after the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes which came next, and then later she ran for office as a loyal member of the Green-for-Gamma Party. But such was not to be as she was smeared by the treacherous Yon-Rogg the Jerkface. After bouncing around including a stint where John Rambo was her sidekick, she eventually got a job with Marv-Ell and pretended she only gained powers at that exact moment. Also, there were a lot of bees because her other cousin was Nick Cage’s character in The Wicker Man.

jimmy: Just like in the MCU!

tomk: The MCU took a lot from this show.

jimmy: It’s hard to remember it mostly came first for everything but Iron Man.

tomk: And maybe the Hulk.

jimmy: Right. Though that doesn’t seem to have much influence on the Hulk here.

tomk: Are you saying Thunderbolt Ross didn’t look like William Hurt?

jimmy: I can’t remember. But Bruce is no Edward Norton.

tomk: Well, he’s also no Jimmy Impossible.

jimmy: I bottle up my rage. I’m sure it’s fine.

tomk: Angry Canadians never cause problems.

jimmy: Everyone loves Canada. Except Watson.

tomk:

jimmy: Yeah. That guy breaks the mold.

tomk: Gamma-irradiated beings routinely break all kinds of things.

jimmy: Non-gamma irradiated things are just so fragile.

tomk: Like Hank?

jimmy: Heh. Perhaps.

tomk: Well, at least we got some Captain Marvel in this Marvel show. But maybe someone should go check on a different female hero. One we’ve seen before.

jimmy: Black Widow?

tomk: That sounds about right. Hawkeye might still be mad.

jimmy: That sounds about right.

tomk: Wanna see how mad?

jimmy: I do.

tomk: Then I might have just the episode for you.

“Widow’s Sting”

Hawkeye really wants to bring Black Widow down.

jimmy: SECRET INVASION!!!

tomk:

jimmy: Be quiet!

tomk: Look, you got the Kree and the Skrulls. What more do you want? The Badoon?

jimmy: No one wants the Badoon.

tomk: Especially the Guardians of the Galaxy. The original comics version.

jimmy: I don’t know much about either.

tomk: The original Guardians team—Yondu, Vance Astro, Martinex, and Charlie-27–teamed up in the far future to battle the Badoon.

jimmy: I don’t think any of them will be showing up in this series.

tomk: Did you think we’d get Secret Invasion?

jimmy: I did not.

tomk: Then perhaps you should just expect all kinds of things.

jimmy: Like the Spanish Inquisition?

tomk: Well, nobody expects that.

jimmy: But yeah, I was surprised.

tomk: The surprises keep coming. AIM might have a Cosmic Cube. Mockingbird is there. Cap and the Panther will go rogue when Tony is being stupid, but possibly because the Widow is deep undercover.

And then there’s a Skrull.

jimmy: AIM doesn’t have a Cosmic Cube, Modok said so.

tomk: Hey, if you can’t trust a giant, homicidal head, who can you trust?

jimmy: Right?

tomk: Captain America?

jimmy: Sure. Just don’t ask him to track anything.

tomk: There are other people for that. You know about them. The Panther, Wolverine, anyone with a good spider-tracer, the Moose, Cousin Minka, Batman, the usual.

jimmy: That’s why you have a team and don’t run off half-Hawkeye’d and do everything yourself.

tomk: He actually got somewhere this time.

jimmy: Yeah. Dead, if not for Natasha.

tomk: Almost like she didn’t really betray him.

jimmy: Almost eh?

tomk: Well, he did go to jail.

jimmy: More of a minor inconvenience.

tomk: Is that what you call it when you have to bail your crew out of the pokey?

jimmy: It’s super hero jail. No one stays longer than a few weeks at the most.

tomk: Hmm. You may be onto something there.

jimmy: Sometimes the villains are even in prison in their outfits.

tomk: Prison uniforms are expensive.

jimmy: Heh

tomk: Especially for the guys needing custom attire to fit over stuff like wings or giant heads.

jimmy: Hmm…that is a good point actually.

tomk: Who makes MODOK’s suits?

jimmy:

tomk: He works both sides?

jimmy: He works the money side.

tomk: I see.

Didn’t he make your crew matching uniforms?

jimmy: Yes. Red and white spandex is very slimming.

tomk: And a short skirt for Cousin Minka for some reason.

jimmy: It is what it is.

tomk: So, how about that Mockingbird? Nick Fury apparently has a very lax dress code for some agents.

jimmy: Same tailor as above.

tomk: Is there anyone whose clothes he doesn’t design?

Wait, I think I know the answer to that.

jimmy: Alfred sews theirs.

tomk: Alfred works too hard.

jimmy: He gets younger with every movie, so it’s working for him.

tomk: What about Batman?

jimmy: He’s usually around the same age.

tomk: Oh yeah.

jimmy: Sparkly Batman is a little younger.

tomk: There are others.

jimmy: Year One.

tomk: And a half.

jimmy: So is Natasha a triple agent?

tomk: Maybe she just wants Clint to keep coming after her to remove the wimpier HYDRA agents that just slow the rest down.

jimmy: That Local Hydra 616 union can be a stickler about layoffs.

tomk: So just let a guy with a bow thin their ranks a bit.

jimmy: Sometimes you gotta play hardball with those union guys.

tomk: Well, sure. But there’s obviously more going on here. Viper was really a Skrull.

jimmy: I’m sure she’s the only one.

tomk: Yeah, it’s not like there might be more of them.

jimmy: Like one of the Avengers?

tomk: Well,maybe someone should check that Spiderwoman.

jimmy: Hyphen please.

tomk: Sor-ry.

Spi-derwoman.

jimmy: Better.

tomk: Anyway, with the Kree and the Skrulls out there, I am sure that they’ll cause problems on Earth at some point. But there might be much worse threats out there.

jimmy: Watson?

tomk: Well, Kang was on his way. He might be worse than Watson.

jimmy: You wouldn’t see Kang wearing a DC shirt to a Marvel movie.

tomk: Yes, but he might let his time machine hover chair block the screen for most of the people in the theater.

jimmy: Or shout spoilers throughout as he saw the movie 1,000 years ago.

tomk: Well, he does know that somehow the Justice League movies will make more money than Endgame.

jimmy: What else does he know?

tomk: Would you like to find out?

jimmy: I would.

tomk: Well, then we have two choices: we can keep going and find out, or we can quit here and you’ll never know and have to live with that.

jimmy: I’m no quitter.

tomk: So, we’re getting the Spider-Man Rewatch again soon?