December 8, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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The Umbrella Academy “Kindest Cut”

Season Three, Episode Five.

Viktor learns what being part of the family means in this episode.

It means things kinda suck.

See, the Sparrows gave an ultimatum:  they will help the Umbrellas if the Umbrellas turn over Harlan.  The Kubgelblitz, now explained by Five, is taking out more and more people with every wave.  It’s a matter of numbers.  One older man is not worth who knows how many other lives is the reasoning.  Five is cold and impractical.  He goes for that.  Klaus is out of it since he died and came back.

Yeah, he can do that.  He’s done it fifty times already.  He just doesn’t remember actually being dead.

But anyway, back to the vote…Diego is a wannabe vigilante.  Of course he agrees even if he hates them Sparrows so very, very much.  Alison is going down a very dark path.  She’s all for it because she just don’t give a fudge anymore.  Lila agrees with the others because she’s seen what time travel does to a person.  Even Luther, the generally kind-hearted guy that he is when he isn’t moping over how miserable and lonely having an ape’s torso makes him, sees that hard choices are necessary.

Viktor disagrees, but he knows Harlan best and maybe sees the man as something of a son.  And he keeps it secret that Harlan accidentally killed their mothers, thereby starting this whole mess in the first place.  Plus, since that came because Harlan still has some of Viktor’s power…that means Viktor might be destroying the world for the third time.  At any rate, Luther here makes a point:  if Viktor wants to be part of the family, making hard decisions like this is part of it.

To which I say…since when?

Look, I get that the Umbrellas are a dysfunctional family on their best days, but a response like that suggests they work together as a team on a routine basis.  They don’t.  They had been long separated when the series started.  Luther was filing reports on the moon nobody read for how long exactly?  Viktor was largely ignored by the others.  Diego was doing the tortured vigilante bit.  Heck, Klaus became a PTSD-riddled Vietnam vet thanks to screwy time travel, and no one really seemed to ask him what happened.  And Five was literally separate from the family for decades because of his own time travel accidents.  Oh, and Ben was dead.

Furthermore, they spent the better part of season two separated as well.

Now, it can be fun on this show when the different characters pair off and do things, and there is a sense that they care about each other…mostly.  But the idea that these people make decisions like this routinely seems wrong.  Not collectively at least.  I am sure Five (and Lila) has.  Diego probably has.  The others?  Not so much, especially someone like Klaus who would just assume not seem to make any decisions whatsoever.

However, I will admit that as the series has gone on, the Umbrellas have become better at looking out for and caring for each other…even if some of them have some unusual ideas on how to do that.  Diego’s taking Allison to get into a bar fight in a rough part of town was probably not a good idea.

Then again, Allison tries to “rumor” Luther into her pants, so she is really going down a dark path.

But maybe there’s some hope since Five got a lead to a familiar face, even if said person won’t recognize him.  Wait, I said person.

Pogo is still a chimpanzee.

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