September 30, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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The Umbrella Academy “Kugelblitz”

Season Three, Episode Four

So, I came across this interesting fan theory.  Apparently, some folks thought Allison behaves a bit out-of-character this season.  I hadn’t noticed it before this episode, but I think I see why.  I chalked it up to how her daughter doesn’t exist, but there’s a bit more to the theory than that.   The theory suggested Allison is actually a spoiled brat, and that she has always been that way.  In retrospect…yeah, I can see it.  She isn’t above using her powers to get her own way.  She started the series as some sort of celebrity renowned for her appearance.  Heck, her powers are entirely about her getting her own way.  Why wouldn’t she get a lot more hostile when she’s in a situation where hearing a rumor won’t fix her problems?

With all that in mind, I think I will open up with saying the Sparrows sure do have a lot of chutzpah.  By this point, there’re down three members, leaving only Dickish Ben, Not-Much-Better Fei, Christopher the Cube, and Legit-Nice-Person Sloane.  Granted, Sloane was accidentally captured by Luther during the ambush Ben set up, the one where Harlan emerged from nowhere and wiped out two Sparrows without hardly trying and scaring the others off.  And they are still the ones trying to dictate terms.

See, this episode does something interesting in terms of filling out Harlan’s backstory.  He can talk now, but after his mother left his father, incorrectly assuming Viktor had successfully removed Harlan’s powers, the pair bounced around a lot, always moving whenever Harlan’s powers did something like explode a pet bunny or knock out some school bullies.  Why couldn’t that be the other way around?  I’d say that was progress.  Regardless, the two bounced around until the day Harlan’s mother died, and in his rage he…

You know, that was actually the big reveal.  It was something that might have otherwise gone on a few more episodes, but it turns out when Harlan flipped out over being left alone, his powers went out and killed all of the Umbrella Academy mothers just before they gave birth.  Harlan is the reason behind the Grandfather Paradox.

Also, Ben and Fei want Harlan to ensure peace between the Sparrows and the Umbrellas.  That’s not what Luther and Sloane negotiated in good faith.  That’s not something Viktor is willing to do.  And it probably won’t sit well with Diego or Allison, but they left to go cause trouble because Allison is taking a very dark turn and Diego is a terrible father.  He’ll just leave his son Stan with the worst member of the Umbrella Academy to be put in charge of a child:  Klaus.

OK, that may not be fair.  Klaus is clearly a terrible babysitter, but he also is not the really bad one here.  That’s still Diego.  Who would have been a good choice?  Viktor and Allison both have experience with kids, but Allison is going with Diego and Viktor is actually looking like team leader material.  Luther probably wouldn’t be a bad choice, but he’s working with Viktor and Sloane to make peace with the Sparrows, something Diego and Allison can’t be bothered to actually do especially since Diego still thinks he needs to fight these guys.  That leaves Five, but he’s doing some time traveling with Lila.  It’s not that Klaus isn’t a bad choice.  He is.  He’s also the only choice.

It’s that or Diego needs to be a good father.

Do I want to say anything more about the Five plotline?  Eh, not really.  I’m sure it’s important, but I’ll skip that for now.

Besides, something else happened:  Stan accidentally killed Klaus with a speargun.

See what I said about Klaus being a bad choice?

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