Data is, for good reason, a fan favorite TNG character. So what happens when someone in-universe takes a real shine to him? And can Jimmy and Tom actually talk about it when they aren’t being excessively silly?
Find out below.
A young boy, sole survivor of a severely damaged starship, decides he wants to be like Data.
jimmy: And that’s the origin of how Timothy joined the cast as a full time member.
tomk: Oh yeah, He keeps hanging out with that First Contact woman, the Vulcan doctor, that kid Worf bonded with after the boy’s mother died on a mission, and, let’s say, Moe.
jimmy: I smell spin-off!
tomk: Yeah! It’s called Deep Space Nine!
jimmy: Timothy grows up to work at Quark’s.
tomk: He’s always hanging out with Nog, Jake, and Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo.
jimmy: That’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard.
tomk: Why did the Beaver run out crying?
jimmy: He’s not pretending to be an emotionless Android?
tomk: The Beaver? Not if mocking his name makes him run away crying.
jimmy: He also didn’t blow up the dam by leaning on a control panel.
tomk: Didn’t he, Jimmy? Didn’t he?
jimmy: He said he didn’t. Now I’m not so sure.
tomk: Well, your memory can be spotty sometimes.
jimmy: This is true.
tomk: I mean, you probably have trouble remembering how awesome the final battle in Avengers Endgame was.
jimmy: Is that the finale of Endgame or a clip from Multiverse of Madness.
(Side note: when I type “Multiverse of “, “Madness” comes up as a text suggestion on my phone. )
tomk: (Side note: Watson hates your phone.)
Or do you have a hard time believing that when Captain America calls for help that everyone shows up?
I suppose next you forgot that Timothy was the one who destroyed Thanos’s flagship after he leaned on the wrong control panel. Lousy #EvilWesley was holding him there…
jimmy: It was #EvilWesley all along.
tomk: And…we’re back.
jimmy: So, Timothy saves the day based on what he overheard on the other ship. But how was he even in a position to hear any of it? He wasn’t on the bridge. Did they find him in engineering? Even so, what would a kid be doing there? Particularly in an emergency situation.
tomk: He’s clearly an aspiring Wesley, going wherever he isn’t supposed to.
Picard later found him hanging around the Captain’s Ready Room.
jimmy: I guess we’ll see more of his hi jinx across various restricted areas of the ship in future episodes.
tomk: Starting with the school that apparently no longer includes Alexander.
jimmy: They have different grades I’m sure. It was a different teacher.
tomk: Unless the other teacher kidnapped Alexander and ran off into some sort of sub space nebula.
jimmy: Could be anything going on in that black hole sun they were investigating.
tomk: It was probably Wesley.
jimmy: Travelled back in time 9 billion years, messed with some stars, took off while the getting was good. Sounds about right.
tomk: Hey, someone got that time ship that Max Headroom lost.
jimmy: It’s all coming together!
tomk: Yeah. Now we can talk about the episode itself.
jimmy: So we talk about the boy pretending to be Data? Data pretending he doesn’t have emotions? The Enterprise avoiding destruction by sheer luck?
tomk: Jimmy pretending he didn’t also wish he was an android?
jimmy: Not sure I’d want to be emotionless.
tomk: Is Data?
jimmy: I think he has more than he realizes.
tomk: Then maybe you would too.
jimmy: Android it is!
tomk: So, now you’re strong enough to help Watson move to that new office three floors up since the elevator is busted?
jimmy: The strength is there, the desire is not.
tomk: Ok, then how do you feel about asking Data to help an emotionally troubled child?
jimmy: He did a better job than Troi.
tomk: Everybody does a better job than Troi. Even Watson.
jimmy: But at least Troi you don’t mind being around.
tomk: True, but it means everyone else is being asked for advice. Why do you think there’s a line outside your house?
jimmy: For my witty repartee and rugged good looks?
jimmy: Well, I’m more understanding than that teacher of the week.
I think that earns you a milkshake.
The previous teacher in the Alexander episode wasn’t much better.
tomk: She didn’t know how to deal with Klingon children. This guy doesn’t know how to deal with traumatized children.
jimmy: No wonder they asked the Android.
tomk: It was better than using an iPhone to ask Siri.
jimmy: Now I want to change Siri on my phone to have Majel Barrett’s voice.
tomk: I’m sure there’s an app for that. I’d prefer a saucy George Takei.
jimmy: Oh behave!
That is assuming there’s some other kind of Takei.
Well, at least Data helped some kid he barely knew have a breakthrough only to abandon him looking miserable in that joyless classroom.
jimmy: The kid was all smiles at the end.
tomk: That’s why he burned down the starbase they dropped him of at after the closing credits.
tomk: Data isn’t much of a parent.
jimmy: I would say he never tried to be and blame Troi…but he did build a daughter.
tomk: Lal met a bad end. Like Game of Thrones.
jimmy: That we don’t know, since the final season hasn’t come out yet.
I suppose next you’ll tell me Topher Grace was never Venom.
jimmy: Do you mean Tom Hardy?
tomk: He was Picard once. Sort of.
tomk: I think I broke you.
jimmy: Ah yes. I pretty much remember nothing about Nemesis. That might not be a bad thing…
tomk: They had dune buggies.
On a series about space ships.
jimmy: They could have had motorbikes.
jimmy: So, we seem to have very little to talk about with Timothy…who was somehow the only survivor on that whole ship.
tomk: Lucky little snot…
jimmy: I mean, c’mon. And he was within feet(?) of the largest place of damage. No one else further away from there on the ship made it?
tomk: Maybe his height helped.
jimmy: You’re right. Being under 5 foot would certainly keep you alive during the destruction of a starship.
tomk: It’s worked in other scenarios.
jimmy: Well…that turned dark exceptionally quick.
tomk: The first video I found of that scene had warnings attached and no share function.
But the moral of the story is simple: stay off the goddam ghost ship if you are of an adult height.
jimmy: Apparently so.
tomk: And since Timmy Turner there was on a ship that still had some life support, it might work there too.
jimmy: You’re working hard on this theory…
tomk: It’s the best explanation I have.
jimmy: Better than mine, which is an eyeroll.
tomk: Would you prefer an egg roll?
tomk: Here ya go. Androids can’t enjoy these.
jimmy: So…what happens to the food that Data does eat?
tomk: Only Geordi knows.
jimmy: And he probably wishes he didn’t.
tomk: It goes without saying.
It also perhaps goes without saying that we were maybe not that impressed by this kid.
jimmy: He was fine. But if he remained an “Android” or had accidentally got sucked out a cargo bay door, it wouldn’t have matter much to me.
tomk: Jimmy is good with the death of a child. Good to know.
jimmy: I figured that would be your response. Yeah, that was a bit harsh, but you get my point.
tomk: Yeah. You don’t care enough to secure that rusty padlock on the airlock. Maybe we should look into characters we do care about. Ostensibly at least.
jimmy: Let’s do that.
tomk: In that case, here’s a story about a creep getting onboard the ship. And it isn’t Geordi.
Weekend Trek “Ship In A Bottle”
Vikings: Valhalla “Pieces Of The Gods”
Noteworthy Issues: The Amazing Spider-Man #52 (September, 1967)