December 8, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “Bart The Cool Kid”

In which both Bart and Homer try to be cool.

Wait…the show brought back Mike Wegman?  The guy who wanted Homer for a mentor?  The guy I had to look up to remember he wanted Homer as a mentor?  So, is Michael Rapaport going to be one of those semi-regular reoccurring guest stars now?

How odd.

Also odd:  Bart envies Ralph Wiggum.  See, someone came to school with the newest Slipreme sneakers.  Slipreme is apparently a cool brand for skateboarders now, a brand founded by young Orion Hughes (guest star The Weeknd), son of actor and rapper Darius Hughes (also The Weeknd).  And having a pair makes someone the coolest ever.  So, naturally Bart wants a pair and actually convinces Homer to go get Bart a limited edition pair of sneakers.  And yes, the super-cool kid at school was Ralph.

Yeah, I don’t get it either.

Anyway, Homer does come back with the shoes, but Bart’s joy turns sour when, during a standard skateboard trick, the sneakers fall apart, having been made entirely out of potato peals and North Korean newspaper clippings and the like.  Not a good thing to happen in front of the entire school, so Bart heads down to the store to demand a refund while TikToking himself doing so.  You’d think Bart might have learned a lesson himself from Homer’s own going viral, but no.  He also texts Homer, and Homer, well, he knows why the shoes fell apart.

They were bootlegs.  Mike Wegman, grateful to Homer even though his pizza slice truck apparently went out of business and now selling bootlegs, just gave Homer a pair.  Homer was really out all night waiting in line at Krustyburger to get a fried chicken sandwich, which does sound about right.

Naturally, Homer’s efforts to get to Bart first and tell the truth fail miserably when he arrives too late.  Bart’s efforts to expose the store online only result in Bart himself getting exposed as the owner of fake shoes, then expose Bart telling off Homer as the worst parent ever, and then finally expose Bart really badly when Homer accidentally rips the boy’s shorts off, causing Bart to scamper away embarrassingly while more and more people make videos out of it.

And yes, Bart got memed.  Homer’s efforts to apologize go nowhere as Bart tells Homer that the man has never been cool a day in his life, rattling off all the uncool things Homer has, including a CD tower that Homer then falls over.

However, Bart’s memedom–is that a word?–did get the attention of Orion Hughes, who shows up at Bart’s house with a ton of free gear.  He and Bart hang out.  It turns out Orion has never actually used a skateboard himself, so he and Bart head out, there’s some lessons and even some bleeding because Orion fell, but he’s never seen his own blood before so that’s cool.  Orion, having fun perhaps for the first time, unused to being anything but cool, decides to design a limited edition sneaker with Bart, not one everyone will buy but that everyone will want to buy.  Big difference.

Meanwhile, Homer, after some exploding tacos, heads out to Moe’s, but he needs a change of clothes.  So, he uses some gear Orion left behind for Bart.  He gets a thumbs up from Mike Wegman which leads to a like on social media, so Homer decides to share the designer cool guy clothes with the gang at Moe’s and then every middle-aged man in town.

That’s…bad.  Well, for Bart and Orion.  If uncool old men like Homer and his pals wear the Slipreme stuff, it’ll go down like Ed Hardy.  Bart doesn’t know who or what Ed Hardy is, so the point stands.  And then it comes out Homer and his pals are headed to the sneaker launch party.  That will ruin Bart’s shoes, Orion’s line, and, um, maybe some other stuff.  Can Bart get Homer to stay away from the launch party?

Of course not!

But he has someone he can call, someone who promised Bart help if ever Bart needed it, who can:  Marge.

Marge stops Homer easily by showing Homer how ridiculous he looks in a reflection, and Homer, after ditching the hip threads for his regular outfit underneath, sends the other middle aged men away by pointing out there’s an aviation museum across the street from the launch party.  Bart’s designs are a success…so much so, even Bart fails to get a pair, but Mike Wegman has another fragile bootleg pair on hand, and there’s another line at the Krustyburger for fried chicken sandwiches the two Simpson men can happily wait in.

And if you’re wondering why The Weeknd played by Orion and Darius, the scene playing during the closing credits explains Orion isn’t Darius’s son but Darius’s clone because Darius could never love a child as much as he loves himself.

OK, that’s…weird.

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