July 4, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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Simpsons Did It!: “Boyz N The Highlands”

In which Bart, Dolph, Nelson, and Martin go on a wilderness trek.

Gee, given that title, I would have sworn that it would involve Groundskeeper Willie and some sort of trip to Scotland, but, aside from some brief appearances at the beginning and the end of the episode, there isn’t much of Willie and nothing of Scotland.

There are also no guest stars for the second week in a row.  Good for the show for learning to show some restraint.

Anyway, Willie is dropping Bart, Nelson, and Dolph…wait, Dolph?  Not Jimbo or Kearney?  OK, I will play along.  Anyway, the three boys are being dropped off as some sort of punishment where they need to hike across country to get to Ankle Rock that does look sort of like a foot as a form of community service or something.  Oh, and then Martin’s parents drop him off because he’s also going along.

As for the rest of the Simpsons…Lisa wants to be treated like a spoiled Only Child named “Jules” for the weekend with Bart out and Maggie pawned off on Patty and Selma.  That doesn’t seem right to me.  I mean, what did Maggie ever do to deserve that?  Regardless, Lisa gets her way a lot until she eats too much ice cream and throws up.  Homer and Marge are pretty good sports about all that, even if Homer isn’t sure he likes this Jules person all that much.  It’s a Lisa plot.  It goes about the way any Lisa plot would go by now.

As for the boys, well, it does seem as if all of them earned a spot there.  Bart tossed laundry pods in the town fountain.  Dolph stole a lamppost.  Nelson sabotaged the Love Tester in Moe’s and stole the change.  And Martin…well, he said he’s there voluntarily, but he’s actually lying as he later says he robbed a drug store when he ran low on all the prescriptions his parents put him on to make him who he is.  That’s supposed to be a surprise for the end of the episode, but I decided to say something about it now because that’s how I roll.  Also, he’s on Focusin, and I saw what that stuff did to Bart.  I’m surprised Martin isn’t worse for it.

As it is, the boys are going around the woods with Bart picking on Martin to stay in the good graces of Nelson and Dolph.  Then they find a baby goat in a cage, and despite the fact GOATS HAVE CREEPY EYES and one of the boys even says as much, they opt to take the goat with them.  Nelson is sure it’s part of their punishment because the symbolism on these things are never subtle.  Plus, Bart names the goat “Axel” and they find it will literally eat anything because this is still a cartoon.

Plus, you know, goats still have creepy eyes.

CREEPY EYES!

However, the boys find a canoe to cross a river and Axel won’t get on.  Bart won’t leave Axel, but Nelson and Dolph will because those two are jerks.  Martin will stay with Bart until he gets sick of the fact Bart is mean whenever the other boys are around just to impress them, so he and Axel leave Bart all alone.  By then, the boys are already fleeing a trio of Satanists who say they want to sacrifice Axel, and I didn’t mention them before because…well, let’s say it was Jules’s fault.

Those Satanists are jerks.  While Bart and Martin are able to hide just fine with Axel, Nelson and Dolph are caught when the Satanists find them in the Airbnb the bullies crashed.  That means a death trap, and while Bart is sure he can get on the bullies’ good side by saving them and looking cool, Martin decides the same would hold true for him because he too is susceptible to such temptations. Plus, it works because the Satanists are just film students trying to make a movie, and while the death trap might have killed the bullies, Martin noticed it went in time to Strauss’s Blue Danube, allowing himself and Bart to literally waltz in and save the other two boys.  Then Axel eats the one film student’s phone and off the group goes to be picked up by Willie at Ankle Rock.

Willie suggests the reward is the great view of the land they trekked, but the boys are completely unimpressed by all that.  Oh, and Martin is popular until the next episode, so that all happened.

At least Lisa got a nice set of photos for her weekend out of it.

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