December 1, 2022

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Class “The Coach With The Dragon Tattoo”

Something is running around killing people at Coal Hill, and Ram's football coach is acting awfully suspicious.

There’s this idea on Doctor Who that, no matter what happens, people tend to forget after a weird incident except for the central characters involved in that mess.

That is true for Class too.

But meanwhile, there’s some kind of dragon thing running around the school, one that seems to get off eating people’s skin.

At the same time, there’s Coach Dawson.  He’s Ram’s coach on the football field…or soccer as the people in my country know it.  Doesn’t matter much.  Dawson is a real hardass type who doesn’t act as a counselor type.  Ram could probably use the latter sort of person, what with the fact everyone seems to think his dead girlfriend is just missing…you know, save Tanya, Charlie, Quill, and April.  Then again, they all know the truth and Ram doesn’t really want to talk to them right now.

That said, when Tanya suggests no one has had it harder, Charlie responds with how he watched his whole race die and April says she has the genocidal monster responsible’ s heart in her chest.  Those are some good lines.  Quill, she’s nowhere to be seen, but I suspect she wouldn’t care.  Besides, she’s being observed by some suspicious and silent government functionary.

Thing is, Ram wants nothing to do with the crazy, but he keeps finding the crazy.  He finds the skinless corpse of the assistant coach and catches a glimpse of some kind of dragon thing.  Then when he goes out for a smoke, he sees the dragon thing eat…Lunchlady Doris?  Man, that Simpsons meme is more accurate than I thought.

Oh, that woman was a cleaner, not a cafeteria worker.  Well, she still looks like Lunchlady Doris.

See, the problem is Ram can’t play football like he used to with his new artificial leg, and he misses Rachel, traumatized as he is by watching her die like two feet in front of him.  And, quite frankly, there is someone who can help him, and it’s Tanya since her own father died in a much more mundane way.  By then, the others watched the dragon eat the headmaster.  With a few quick looks, combined with Charlie’s art skills, hey, the thing looks like…Coach Dawson’s dragon tattoo!

Hey, that thing was moving before, and it had some blood on one of its fangs!

I mean, the whole thing seems kinda obvious.  The Ram stuff is pretty solid character work, and Quill, ostensibly the fighter of the group, is far too distracted by that inspector, who doesn’t talk and says he wants her (he wrote it down), but then the dragon shows up and eats him.  Turns out he’s a robot.


So, there’s a bit with Quill that’s clearly set-up for something long term, and there’s the dragon tattoo thing, and since Ram recognizes the tattoo, it’s off to confront Coach Dawson.  Granted, no one has a plan beyond that aside from maybe let Quill take on the thing, something she can only do if Charlie is in danger.  I’m sitting here, thinking the whole thing is rather basic, and then the twist:  the Coach’s tattoo is not killing anyone.  The killer is her mate.  That time and space bunghole (April’s term) spit the female out, it hit the coach, and transformed into the tattoo.  There’s no way to get it off, but he can manipulate the male by threatening to harm his own skin.  The male skins victims, and then the tattoo drinks the blood left behind.  There isn’t even much of a mess left over.

So, really, will the male dragon thing eat the kids to save it’s mate more damage?  What can any of these kids do against a thing the size of a bus?

Oh, Ram can point out that things change, and maybe it will never be the same, but the male will have to move on.  Oh, and leather is a thing.  The dragon didn’t know that.  And it can talk.  Looks like Coach is going back to the alien’s world to become a jacket.

Yeah, I rather liked this.  It even turned out a little sweet when Ram told his father what had happened and showed his dad the robo-leg, allowing the two to do some practice kicks in the yard so Ram can maybe get his football form back.

You know, if the show goes like this for the next six episodes, I think I will be very glad to have made this detour.

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