July 4, 2022

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Watson Ranks the Top Movies of 2021: Vaccinated and Ready to be Rated Edition

By William Watson

Did the world re-open in 2022?  If you look at the movies, it feels like the answer is…sort of?  Sure, there were tentpole movies like Spider-Man, Shang Chi, Black Widow, and No Time to Die, but the movie industry was definitely still a stay on home prospect most weekends.

In a year where very few films hit the modern $200m magic domestic number, Warner Brothers even adopted a controversial decision to do day and date releases of its entire slate.  It remains to be seen how this new shift in the industry will play out, but that is for 2022 to decide.

But first let’s close out 2021.  In a weird film year, I got my fellow Geek, Ryan Garcia, to buy into the madness of mass film watching.  To make this article more fun, any film he saw on my list, he will bring the snark in the full list at the end. Check out his often bizarre film analysis.

Well, here we go…

Time to jump right into the list!

Top Ten

10. Coda

Apple releases trailer for Sundance award-winning movie CODA, premieres August 13 on Apple TV+ - 9to5Mac

The Ted Lasso of 2021 movies.  Just so sweet and warm.  Coda tells the story of the only member of a family that is not deaf, who wants to be a professional singer.  The way the family connects and supports her despite their blue collar roots will have you smiling.

9. In & Of Itself

Rarely do I take movie recommendations from Ryan, but we exchanged movie assignments middle of the year, and this was his pick for me.  I am glad because I might have missed this recording of a live performance by magician and storyteller, Derek DelGaudio.  His act is mixed in with a deep and emotional examination of personal identity.

8. Spider-Man: No Way Home

I was really frustrated when I heard they were doing a multiverse take on Tom Holland’s Spider-Man.  That isn’t really Spidey’s signature temperature.  I was preconditioned to hate it, but damn it Holland, Zendaya, and the rest of the cast was amazing.  I still wish we had gotten a more conventional Spider-Man movie where he swings around New York, but if they are going this route, at least they executed.

7. Nine Days

Artsy SciFi/Fantasy done well.  A small, personal story of a man in the beyond who gets to choose from a group of souls who gets to go to Earth and live.  Winston Duke, best known for the brutish M’baku in Black Panther, turns in an incredibly nuanced performance.  His fascination with his charges, those who are set to replace one who died suddenly (especially the amazing Zazie Beetz), and how he softens the blows for those eliminated make me wonder how he’s not attracted ANY Oscar buzz.

6. Cruella

I had NO desire to see this movie.  It was so far down on the list that I thought about not watching it until it was free on D+.  But Stephanie wanted to watch it on a date night, so we rented it early.  Money well spent!  I assumed Emma Stone would do well, and she even exceeded expectations, but EVERYTHING worked in this movie.  The direction, the costumes, the cinematography, the story.  EVERYTHING!  Probably my biggest surprise of the year.

5. Belfast

This is Oscar bait done well.  When I saw it was a black and white movie set in the Troubles, I felt like many farts were to be sniffed.  But this movie had a sweet and warm narrative set in a tough period of Northern Ireland’s history. Ciarán Hinds makes a good movie a special film with his Oscar worthy performance.  The King Beyond the Wall, indeed!

4. King Richard

This might be Will Smith’s year to win the Oscar.  He infused a fascinating character with depth and life.  Richard Williams was a fascinating character and a lesser actor could have played him as a caricature without meaning to, but Smith fleshes him out and captures his drive (often obsessively so) to make his daughters great in every way.

3. Being the Ricardos

I don’t understand the controversy around the casting. Everyone was amazing!  I love Aaron Sorkin.  I love behind the scenes movies about famous moments in entertainment.  I love 50s/60s era Hollywood.  This was a movie custom made for me.

2. I Care a Lot

A February Netflix movie is my second favorite film of the year.  That is how good it was.  It was equal parts funny, tense, and violent.  Peter Dinklage continues to find great roles that don’t even acknowledge his height; which tells you how amazing he is because entertainment has long been awful to people who have dwarfism.  Dinklage is menacing and excellent, but it is Rosamund Pike who really makes this special.  How she missed out on a nomination last year for the Oscars should be reviewed by the Justice Department!

1. Judas and the Black Messiah

So…my FAVORITE movie of the year was a film released in February on HBO MAX.  Daniel Kaluuya earned his Oscar, putting in a Supporting Actor performance that belongs in the pantheon with Heath Ledger, JK Simmons, and Joe Pesci.  Sure, sure.  You have to pretend he’s not the lead character, but whatever.  This movie should have won Best Picture.  It had so much heart, passion, and depth.  Worth the price of HBO Max for a whole year…

BOTTOM TEN

But even more fun than the top 10?  The stinky bottom ten.  You see a lot of movies…you see a lot of stinkers.  In the past, I have sought out bad movies like Transformers or Mortdecai to fill in the bottom of the list.  This year, the turds sought ME out!

So let’s take a look at the stinky turds inhabiting the Watson Bottom Ten!

10. Snake Eyes

Was Snake Eyes in this movie? This was a dumb karate movie that could have been any property until the last 30 seconds.  I’m not sure GI Joe can be adapted into film.  There’s just not much special about it.

9. F9

That rope bridge action sequence explains why Trump was elected president.  May god have mercy on your soul if you like this franchise.

8. TOM AND JERRY

This was bad even by children movie standards.  I kind of like the “Home Alone in New York” premise, but this movie couldn’t have been worse if it also included Donald Trump.

7. INFINITE

I expected nothing less from Markie Mark.  As dumb as this movie was, it was worse because he’s just not a good actor.  Put Matt Damon or Will Smith in this exact movie, and it goes up 30 spots.

6. MATRIX: RESURECTIONS

Memba Matrix? I ‘memba!  When you are making jokes about making a fourth version to a video game trilogy to practically apologize for making the movie, you should know you should have scrapped the project.  While this one wasn’t as atrocious as the third installment of the original trilogy, it was nowhere near as good as part two.  I didn’t like part two.

5. The Woman in the Window

Ruining a movie with THIS cast???  Check.  Knock off Rear Window with none of the charm?  Check.  Get me to the point where I didn’t CARE if she was crazy or there was a mystery? Check.  Disappoint me with the ending?  Check.

4. MALIGNANT

I vowed to watch all the WB day and date releases because I bought I big screen the day the news was announced. This one tested my vow.  This was a nostalgia movie for an era where I had already abandoned horror movies as a genre I enjoyed.  I can only assume this picture is from the movie because I don’t remember shit about it other than a general disgust.

3.  HALLOWEEN KILLS

This was everything the 2018 reboot was supposed to undo.  This was a schlocky, dumb movie where Jamie Lee Curtis phones in her worst performance ever.  There was a cool premise they could have worked, the town fights back, but they made it REALLY dumb instead.

2.  CRY MACHO

It was so stereotypically insensitive toward Hispanics, I am surprised Eastwood didn’t call it Cry Nacho.  Eastwood’s time is passed.  He needs to stop directing if this is his product.  He definitely needs to stop acting.  His fight scene was laughably bad.  Poor guy is 90.  He can’t beat anyone up except for Tom…

1. BARB AND STAR GO TO DEL VISTA MAR

The worst movie I have seen since Mortdecai.  I do not understand how this got positive reviews.  There is NOTHING funny about this movie.  Terrible start to finish.

Final Thoughts

Not the best year for cinema. It’s odd because I thought this year would be a powerhouse given the hold from 2020. Yet, the film quality was really not there, making me wonder about the state of the industry. Well, until next year…

Full List (#1-175)

ALL-TIME GREATS

There are no entries this year which feel like they qualify as all-time greats…

EXCELLENT

MOVIE STARS LOCALE GENRE DATE
WATCHED
Ryan says: Watson Says:
1 JUDAS AND THE BLACK MESSIAH 9.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 2/13 Amazing. Even the end title cards are powerful. Some of the most powerful acting ever.
2 I CARE A LOT 9 NETFLIX DRAMA 2/26 Pike kicks ass and her hair will slice you in half. I wish this would have come out later in the year so Pike would be in the Oscar race…
3 BEING THE RICARDOS 9 AMAZON DRAMA 12/23 Sorkin never lets the truth get in the way of a good story, again. I don’t understand the controversy around the casting. Everyone was amazing!
4 KING RICHARD 9 HBO MAX DRAMA 11/19 This might be Will Smith’s year!
5 BELFAST 9 FIRST RUN DRAMA 11/14 A special movie made even more special by Handis…
6 CRUELLA 9 DISNEY+ DRAMA 5/29 Emma Stone makes a ho-hum retelling into fire. One of the biggest surprises of the year!
7 NINE DAYS 9 PVOD DRAMA 11/3 So moody and beautiful
8 SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME 8.5 FIRST RUN ADVENTURE 12/16 It was the best possible version of a weird plot choice…
9 IN & OF ITSELF 8.5 HULU DOCUMENTARY 8/9 Pure magic. An amazing story teller…
10 CODA 8.5 APPLE TV+ DRAMA 12/19 There is a scene in this movie that, if you can watch without bawling, you are literally soulless The Ted Lasso of movies.

STRONG ENTRIES

11 TWAS THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS 8.5 APPLE TV+ COMEDY 11/30 Kilowatts for Christ: The Movie Every lawyer knows someone just like this guy…
12 LAST NIGHT IN SOHO 8.5 FIRST RUN HORROR 3/30 The two leads got me to go along for the ride.
13 SHANG CHI AND THE LEGEND OF THE TEN RINGS 8.5 FIRST RUN ACTION 9/2 “Your mother wanted you to have something special when you returned.” “Dragon-scale shirts? What do they do.” “Nothing. That’s what she gets for leaving.” Fun new entry to the MCU
14 NO TIME TO DIE 8.5 FIRST RUN ACTION 10/12 That’s how you fucking end a story arc! A fitting exit for Daniel Craig.
15 ROADRUNNER: A FILM ABOUT ANTHONY BOURDAIN 8.5 FIRST RUN DOCUMENTARY 7/18 Frustratingly spends time on the boring while skipping the interesting. Brought back the pain of his passing..
16 TOM PETTY: SOMEWHERE YOU FEEL FREE 8.5 FIRST RUN DOCUMENTARY 10/20 Same as Roadrunner…
17 THE SPARKS BROTHERS 8.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 12/6 I would have thought Edgar was making a mockumentary if I didn’t know they were real…
18 STREET GANG: HOW WE GOT TO SESAME STREET 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 5/25 I would pay to watch two hours of Muppet bloopers. Big Bird singing at Henson’s funeral brings the feels
19 FAUCI 8.5 DISNEY+ DOCUMENTARY 10/11 Great look at a personal hero
20 NOBODY 8.5 PVOD ACTION 5/3 The newer, better, less racist Taken. Bob has come a long way from Mr Show!
21 CITIZEN ASHE 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 12/8 A dignified man who was a pioneer
22 NO SUDDEN MOVE 8.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 6/2 Gotta love a movie where Brendan Fraser is credited but unrecognizable and Matt Damon is recognizable but uncredited. Great noir crime thriller. My sweet spot
23 8-BIT CHRISTMAS 8.5 HBO MAX COMEDY 12/12 A more modern, slightly worse Christmas Story, salvaged by NPH A charming new holiday classic
24 THE LAST DUEL 8.5 FIRST RUN DRAMA 10/17 Come for the drama. Stay for Affleck’s hairdo…
25 ASSASSINS 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 11/28 If I had a nickel every time I heard someone say they were tricked into becoming an international assassin by making YouTube prank videos I would now have two nickels. Which is not a lot of money but way more than I thought I’d ever have. The prank was on them…
26 FRENCH DISPATCH 8.5 FIRST RUN COMEDY 10/21 More of an anthology than a singular film…
27 FREE GUY 8.5 FIRST RUN COMEDY 8/19 This movie made me adjective! A breath of fresh air in the years that air can kill you
28 WEST SIDE STORY 8.5 FIRST RUN MUSICAL 12/10 Spielberg made a remake special.
29 THE CARD COUNTER 8.5 FIRST RUN DRAMA 9/11 This could have been a perfect film if the team behind Rounders made it Gritty and captivating
30 TICK…TICK…BOOM! 8.5 NETFLIX MUSICAL 11/23 This will change your life. Bum bum bum bum bum. Andrew Garfield is the only person that should contend with Will Smith for Best Actor!
31 THE SUICIDE SQUAD 8.5 HBO MAX ACTION 8/5 Killed it. Good, dumb fun that should have done better.
32 THE UNFORGIVABLE 8.5 NETFLIX DRAMA 12/18 Sandra Bullock should just make Netflix movies forever. This was a nice surprise.
33 UNTOLD: MALICE AT THE PALACE 8.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 8/16 I haven’t felt this bad for millionaires since the internet bubble burst. It will make you feel for Jermaine Oneal
34 CLERK. 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 12/8 Required viewing if you are a Kevin Smith fan.
35 RED NOTICE 8.5 NETFLIX ACTION 11/13 This movie had me at featured extras. I could watch this cast do anything.
36 MAYOR PETE 8.5 AMAZON DOCUMENTARY 12/1 Glad they had a camera crew following his unexpected rise.
37 76 DAYS 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 9/15 Same here but for Covid and not Pete.
38 THE LOST LEONARDO 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 11/30 I think it was by a follower and not Leonardo.
39 BLACK WIDOW 8.5 FIRST RUN ADVENTURE 7/8 This would have been a much better movie without Natasha. The movie would have been mediocre without Florence Pugh.
40 RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON 8.5 DISNEY+ ANIMATED 3/22 Awesome world. Looking forward to some sequels. Disney proper has been kicking Pixar’s butt the last five years.
41 A QUIET PLACE 2 8.5 FIRST RUN HORROR 6/17 This needs to turn into a premium series. Nice, tight little stories that could use a little more fleshing out. Fun but not much new from the original.
42 ONE NIGHT IN MIAMI 8.5 AMAZON DRAMA 1/23 Turns out this is not a reboot of the only song you know from Chess. Great acting and directing.
43 THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE 8.5 FIRST RUN DRAMA 9/18 The performances were great, but the story flags a bit.
44 BLACK HOLES: THE EDGE OF ALL WE KNOW 8.5 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 5/19 This was amazing–when it’s all about a picture but the real money shot is a 4×4 grid showing correlation between images. Oh yeah, baby. The scientists are surprisingly compelling storytellers
45 PIG 8.5 HULU DRAMA 12/19 The best revenge movie about a truffle hunting pig you will ever see.
46 MUSIC BOX: WOODSTOCK 99 8.5 HBO MAX DOCUMENTARY 8/8 Turns out we shouldn’t have done it all for the nookie. Ok…so maybe Gen X was just as douchey as other generations…

VERY GOOD

47 WHITE TIGER 8.5 NETFLIX DRAMA 2/14 I wanted this to be better. A charming little movie that could not have been ANY better!
48 OLD HENRY 8 PVOD DRAMA 10/31 Nice PVOD rental with some good shootouts.
49 GHOSTBUSTERS: AFTERLIFE 8 FIRST RUN ADVENTURE 11/24 Ghostbuster: The Force Awakens.
50 CMON CMON 8 FIRST RUN DRAMA 12/7 It jumped up 10 spots in the last 90 seconds of the film.

GOOD MOVIES

51 HOUSE OF GUCCI 8 FIRST RUN DRAMA 11/26 Should have been a top ten movie but failed to execute.
52 SOUTH PARK: POST-COVID: THE RETURN OF COVID 8 PARAMOUNT+ ANIMATED 12/16 One of the rare times that South Park channels Futurama and delivers the feels!
53 NIGHTMARE ALLEY 8 FIRST RUN HORROR 12/17 This was decent but it should have been better.
54 VACATION FRIENDS 8 HULU COMEDY 11/28 John Cena needs to stop making movies where John Cena is the best part. Dumb fun on Hulu.
55 DUNE 8 HBO MAX ADVENTURE 10/22 If this receives a grade it should be Incomplete. In the first 30 minutes, I thought it would be in my all time favorites. Then the next two hours were kinda boring.

DECENT FLICKS

56 CANDYMAN 8 PVOD HORROR 12/28 Decent flick, but great direction that makes me excited about Marvels.
57 VENOM: LET THERE BE CARNAGE 8 FIRST RUN ADVENTURE 9/30 The first one was fun and funny. This was neither for me. Had the decency to be 90 minutes.
58 BECOMING COUSTEAU 8 DISNEY+ DOCUMENTARY 11/28 What can I say? I like bipoic docs.
59 MINARI 8 PVOD DRAMA 2/28 Fittingly named. A weed of a movie that some people find valuable. Small little movie.
60 UNTOLD: CRIMES & PENALTIES 8 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 9/26 WWE meets Sopranos meets Slapshot
61 ZOLA 8 PVOD DRAMA 9/28 Had its moments.
62 9/11: INSIDE THE PRESIDENT’S WAR ROOM 8 APPLE TV+ DOCUMENTARY 9/8 Interesting view from the people in charge at the time.
63 MALCOM AND MARIE 8 NETFLIX DRAMA 2/10 A performance piece. Zendaya is a treasure.
64 A PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN 8 PVOD DRAMA 1/24 This one will stick with you for a while. Maybe forever. I liked it but I didn’t love it.
65 OPERATION VARSITY BLUES: THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS SCANDAL 8 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 3/23 Bad people, bad system, bad outcomes. Interesting doc/drama combination.
66 LUCA 8 DISNEY+ ANIMATED 7/4 I remember when Pixar movies had consistent, interesting worlds. Felt more Dreamworks than Pixar, but the animation is good.
67 BLOOD RED SKY 8 NETFLIX HORROR 8/4 I hope this becomes a franchise. Few edits short of a masterpiece. If you are already afraid of flying, not the film for you…
68 CRACK 8 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 2/11 Interesting but unmemorable.
69 MLK/FBI 8 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 1/18 Pretty straightforward doc.
70 NEWS OF THE WORLD 8 PVOD DRAMA 1/16 $15 HANKS!
71 THE DISSIDENT 8 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 1/14 Pro tip: when engaging in a cyber war with a rich country, don’t click on random text links. It will make you MAD!
72 THE FATHER 8 PVOD DRAMA 3/28 I wish Boseman had won Best Actor, but don’t say he was robbed if you haven’t watched this brilliant performance.
73 WHO ARE YOU, CHARLIE BROWN? 8 APPLE TV+ DOCUMENTARY 6/26 Warm and sweet doc.
74 RIDE THE EAGLE 8 PVOD COMEDY 12/12 Fun disposable film. Perfect for napping when JK isn’t on screen. MUCH better comedy than I expected. I liked the Covid shooting techniques.
75 SOUTH PARK: AFTER COVID 8 PARAMOUNT+ ANIMATED 11/27 It was fine but not peak South Park.

NOT A WASTE OF TIME

76 COPSHOP 8 FIRST RUN ACTION 9/25 Dumb fun that passed a Saturday afternoon.
77 BLOOD BROTHERS: MALCOM X & MUHAMMAD ALI 8 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 9/12 Pretty straightforward doc.
78 BEING JAMES BOND 8 APPLE TV+ DOCUMENTARY 9/7 Fantastic interview leading up to Time To Die. Really made me appreciate Craig’s place in film history.
79 SPENCER 8 FIRST RUN DRAMA 11/6 Dallas Buyers Club entry. A performance piece.
80 FATHERHOOD 8 NETFLIX DRAMA 6/26 I want Kevin Hart to be better than this. Hart was charming and I like seeing him try to stretch his skills.
81 WORTH 8 NETFLIX DRAMA 9/12 Good performance by Keaton.
82 SUMMER OF SOUL 8 HULU DOCUMENTARY 8/2 I would love to go back in time and attend this amazing music festival.
83 DON’T LOOK UP 8 NETFLIX COMEDY 12/24 Feels like if this was supposed to be satire it should have gone further, which is odd given the topic. Sadly a missed opportunity for greatness.
84 THE FRIENDS REUNION SPECIAL 8 HBO MAX SPECIAL 5/29 This was fun, funny at times, and had some new information. Everything you’d want from a reunion. Pure ass nostalgia!
85 A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX 8 PVOD DOCUMENTARY 5/22 Super basic simulation theory from questionable sources. If it weren’t for the PKD footage, it’d be awful. It made me think.
86 WEWORK: OR THE MAKING AND BREAKING OF A $47 BILLION UNICORN 8 HULU DOCUMENTARY 4/11 I wanted there to be more about the crash here. Megalomanics gotta megalomanic…
87 RITA MORENA: JUST A GIRL WHO DECIDED TO GO FOR IT 8 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 12/17 What a charming entry in the annals of the American Dream.
88 WITHOUT REMORSE 8 AMAZON ACTION 5/1 Pretty generic. Could have been any action film except for the mid-credit scene. Should have been so much better.
89 FRAMING BRITNEY SPEARS 8 HULU DOCUMENTARY 4/2 Free Britney. Pretty straightforward doc.
90 THE MITCHELLS VS THE MACHINES 8 NETFLIX ANIMATED 5/8 Unexpectedly awesome and sweet and funny at the same time. I liked it but it was definitely more targeted at children than designed to appeal to all ages.
91 THE DAY SPORTS STOOD STILL 7.5 HBO MAX DOCUMENTARY 3/30 Chris Paul’s lens is interesting.
92 THE GREEN KNIGHT 7.5 FIRST RUN ADVENTURE 7/31 Focuses more on mood and visuals than storytelling.
93 TREAD 7.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 12/5 Follows a crazy guy who loses his shit.
94 NOMADLAND 7.5 PRIVATEER DRAMA 1/20 Are these broken people or symptoms of a broken system? Beautiful but boring.
95 THE COURIER 7.5 PVOD DRAMA 8/28 A decent period piece spy thriller
96 PIECES OF A WOMAN 7.5 NETFLIX DRAMA 1/10 Dallas Buyers Club entry. A performance piece.
97 THE YEAR EARTH CHANGED 7.5 APPLE TV+ DOCUMENTARY 6/26 Interesting tidbits but not a great story.
98 THE LITTLE THINGS 7.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 1/29 Tough sell. Not really a murder mystery, but acts like one. Fun for a February on HBO Max.
99 ARMY OF THE DEAD 7.5 NETFLIX ACTION 5/22 This is the best zombie heist film to come out in a long time. This was fun but stupid. I WILL watch a sequel, though.
100 THE TOMORROW WAR 7.5 AMAZON ACTION 6/2 This is the Jeff Foxworthy of Edge of Tomorrows. Same as Army of the Dead…
101 THE WRATH OF MAN PVOD ACTION 12/25 An epic, interweaving crime tapestry where half the threads are fine silk and the other half are flimsy cobwebs. It’s like Guy Ritchie farmed out half the film to Liam Neeson’s writing team.
102 BECKETT 7.5 NETFLIX DRAMA 9/19 Guy jumps off a ledge and survives, so he finds a taller building to jump off of and survive. With a better script doctor and director, this would have been impressive.
103 FEAR STREET 2: 1978 7.5 NETFLIX HORROR 7/14 Hard to judge as a standalone, but still brought some great elements to the first one. I love the three film concept. This was the best as a single film.
104 SCHUMACHER 7.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 11/7 Hit just at the right time as I got into F1.
105 FINCH 7.5 APPLE TV+ DRAMA 11/6 “What if Pixar was really fucking depressed when it made Wall-E?” I love Hanks, but this one dragged a lot.
106 ARMY OF THIEVES 7.5 NETFLIX HORROR 11/1 It was fun, but at the end of the day the best part was the CGI of the inside of the safes. A very likable lead.
107 UNTOLD: BREAKING POINT 7.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 11/11 I like the untold series of sports docs.
108 IN THE HEIGHTS 7.5 HBO MAX MUSICAL 6/23 Exactly how musicals should be made into movies. Exciting, visually stunning, and an amazing cast/story/music. It just didn’t connect with me.
109 FEAR STREET 3: 1666 7.5 NETFLIX HORROR 7/17 Fantastic ending of the trilogy–half origin, half resolution. What a fun event! You needed this to end the series, but as a standalone movie it is uneven.
110 LARRY FLINT FOR PRESIDENT 7.5 TRIBECA DOCUMENTARY 6/14 What a character!
111 JUNGLE CRUISE 7.5 DISNEY+ ADVENTURE 7/31 How does a movie feel too big and too small at the same time? They almost wasted an all world cast. They better get the sequel right!
112 THE ETERNALS 7.5 FIRST RUN ADVENTURE 11/4 Total opposite of GotG. That movie took a cast of mostly unknown characters and made us like them all. This took a cast of mostly unknown characters and made us not give a shit about any of them. The Nomadland of the MCU.
113 OLD 7.5 PVOD HORROR 10/31 I liked the concept and the twist, but the movie had a lot of down time.
114 BOB ROSS: HAPPY ACCIDENTS, BETRAYAL AND GREED 7.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 8/27 This should have been 90 minutes about the squirrel that lived in his shirt pocket. Thank goodness Ross wasn’t the bad guy the title alludes to!
115 THE HARDER THEY FALL 7 NETFLIX DRAMA 11/6 Westerns are usually black and white. This is one is too, but different. I love the cast and the premise, but the direction didn’t work for me.

IF YOU HAVE SPARE TIME

116 STILLWATER 7 PVOD DRAMA 8/21 ZZZzzzzz….
117 STOWAWAY 7 NETFLIX DRAMA 4/27 If you’re curious about this, just watch Gravity again. A great premise that didn’t quite launch.
118 THOSE WHO WISH ME DEAD 7 HBO MAX DRAMA 5/15 The screenwriter had a fire sale on action movie cliches. Glad I only saw this on HBO.
119 CHAOS WALKING 7 PVOD ADVENTURE 5/28 I mean, sixth release time is the charm! (Watson: It was not…) Better than I expected. Holland is just likable.
120 FEAR STREET 1: 1994 7 NETFLIX HORROR 7/5 Best since Scream of poking fun at a genre while also being right inside the genre. Without the trilogy, this would have been a teeny bopper flick
121 KATE 7 NETFLIX ACTION 9/27 This was fun in a way Gunpowder Milkshake should have been. I like this subgenre and the lead, but it was unmemorable.
122 INJUSTICE 7 PVOD ANIMATED 11/2 Passable DC Animated flick.
123 THE GUILTY 7 NETFLIX DRAMA 10/4 Nightcrawler lite and with telephones. Not a bad film, but not a classic.
124 VAL 7 AMAZON DOCUMENTARY 8/17 Worst remake of the Stephen Hawking documentary yet. He’s a weird dude.
125 WEREWOLVES WITHIN 7 PVOD HORROR 7/9 I laughed more than I thought I would. Really fun modern comedy. Felt like this could have been better with a tighter script.
126 TINA 7 HBO MAX DOCUMENTARY 4/12 Tina Turner remains the best concert I ever went to. It was better than this, although this was interesting. Pretty straightforward doc.
127 GODZILLA VS KONG 7 HBO MAX ADVENTURE 3/31 Anytime a person spoke this movie got worse. Boring as hell when Godzilla and Kong are not on screen together.
128 UNTOLD: BREAKING POINT 7 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 11/7 The worst of the series I watched. I skipped the Jenner entry though.
129 OUR TOWNS 7 HBO MAX DOCUMENTARY 5/2 Some interesting takes, just not sure there were interesting takeaways. ZZZzzzzz….
130 JUSTICE LEAGUE: SNYDER CUT 7 HBO MAX ADVENTURE 3/18 It’s a bit more believable that Bruce grew that beard in 7 days as opposed to just one, but not much. They should have made this a mini-series as planned.
131 BATMAN: SOUL OF THE DRAGON PVOD ANIMATED 12/1 Decent DC Animated.
132 PETER RABBIT 2 7 PVOD COMEDY 8/29 James Cordon ruined this movie. Missed the charm of the original.
133 ENCOUNTER 7 AMAZON DRAMA 12/11 Riz Ahmed saves this from the near bottom.
134 YES DAY 7 NETFLIX COMEDY 3/24 Should you watch it with your family if you have nothing else to watch? Yes. Family fun if you have YOUNG kids.
135 JUSTICE SOCIETY: WORLD WAR 2 7 PVOD ANIMATED 5/15 I would have rather just had a movie about the JSA instead of time travel with the JLA.
136 BATMAN: LONG HALLOWEEN PART 2 7 HBO MAX ANIMATED 10/13 Better than part 1.
137 THE UNITED STATES V BILLIE HOLIDAY 7 HULU DRAMA 2/26 Relied just on the music. The plot was boring.
138 BATMAN: LONG HALLOWEEN PART 1 7 PVOD ANIMATED 7/12 Not as good as part 2. But obviously not much…
139 THUNDER FORCE 6.5 NETFLIX COMEDY 3/26 Amusing enough, but mostly a miss. What Ryan said…
140 NAIL BOMBER: MANHUNT 6.5 AMAZON DOCUMENTARY 5/26 Passable crime doc.
141 MURDER BY THE COAST 6.5 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 8/18 I don’t remember much of this one.
142 COMING 2 AMERICA 6.5 AMAZON COMEDY 3/5 This was a total blast. How dare you. Memba Coming to America? I ‘memba!
143 THE MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK 6.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 10/6 Felt like fan fic.
144 OASIS KNEBWORTH 1996 6.5 PARAMOUNT+ DOCUMENTARY 11/28 I liked the music, but I really hate the Gallaghers…
145 ESCAPE ROOM: TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS 6.5 PVOD HORROR 12/23 The rooms were fun. The plot was clunky.
146 LOCKED DOWN 6.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 3/14 Not really a heist I graded this one on the covid curve.
147 PLAYING WITH SHARKS 6.5 DISNEY+ DOCUMENTARY 8/11 It was something on in the background.

GETTING A LITTLE TEDIOUS

148 PINK: ALL I KNOW SO FAR 6 AMAZON DOCUMENTARY 5/22 Pink’s music and the wire flying save this otherwise boring doc. I like her music. She is not an interesting person.
149 BIGGIE: I GOT A STORY TO TELL 6 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 3/8 Biggie is fascinating. This wasn’t. How do you screw up a documentary about Biggie?
150 OUTSIDE THE WIRE 6 NETFLIX ACTION 3/13 So bad. So very bad. This one should have been more fun.
151 AMERICA: THE MOTION PICTURE 6 NETFLIX ANIMATED 7/18 Super funny on paper. Kinda funny on screen. Not funny either way…
152 14 PEAKS 6 NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY 12/7 Cool premise. Great visuals. No narrative thread.
153 MORTAL KOMBAT 6 HBO MAX ACTION 4/24 “Okay, here’s the plan. You know how we just fought all those guys and they won? Well now we’re going to fight the exact same guys again.” Not as good as the cartoon movie from 2020.

I’M GETTING A HEADACHE

154 THE HITMAN’S BODYGUARD’S WIFE 6 PVOD COMEDY 8/24 Even a bad movie with Ryan Reynolds is a bad movie with Ryan Reynolds.
155 GUNPOWDER MILKSHAKE 6 NETFLIX ACTION 7/21 Valiant effort, but the attempt at worldbuilding was what made this so frustrating. Stop trying to make the next John Wick, Hollywood.
156 REMINISENCE 5.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 8/22 This is an excellent anti-Chinatown. I was bored the whole time.
157 SPIRAL: FROM THE BOOK OF SAW 5.5 PVOD HORROR 11/9 If Chris Rock can’t make me like a Saw movie…
158 CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG 5.5 PARAMOUNT+ COMEDY 12/1 I watched this just to annoy Clayton…
159 SPACE JAM: A NEW LEGACY 5.5 HBO MAX COMEDY 7/22 Spent as much time in space as the Fantastic Four reboot. Why hasn’t Warners come out with a jelly called Space Jam?
160 ICE ROAD 5.5 NETFLIX ACTION 6/26 The “good” Liam Neeson movie of the year.
161 THE MARKSMAN 5.5 PVOD ACTION 6/7 The BAD Liam Neeson movie of the year.
162 THE CONJURING 5 HBO MAX HORROR 5/4 It’s nice to have another X-Files movie to watch. So insultingly dumb.
163 VOYAGERS 5 PVOD DRAMA 9/22 It’s been a rough couple of years and even I thought this was overly pessimistic about humanity. Artsy sci fi movies are easy fuck up. They did.
164 THE POWER OF THE DOG 5 NETFLIX DRAMA 12/1 This was a flawless movie. It was sooooooo boring and the acting was bad. I usually love fart smelling movies and this one died on the vine for me. The biggest surprise ever was that Ryan liked this.

THE BOTTOM AND DESERVING

165 SNAKE EYES 5 PVOD ACTION 8/22 Years from now I look forward to someone bringing up this movie and I’ll say “They made a Snake Eyes movie?” Was Snake Eyes in this movie?
166 F9 5 FIRST RUN ACTION 6/24 Magnets, bitch!!! That rope bridge action sequence explains why Trump was elected president.
167 TOM AND JERRY 4.5 HBO MAX COMEDY 2/26 Nothing about this movie was good. But Tom and Jerry were the worst parts. This was bad even by children movie standards.
168 INFINITE 4 PARAMOUNT+ ACTION 5/13 This movie makes Highlander 2 look like Highlander. I expected nothing less from Markie Mark.
169 MATRIX 4 4 HBO MAX ADVENTURE 12/22 Fans of the Matrix series will love it, others won’t. I’m totally cool with that. Memba Matrix? I ‘memba!
170 THE WOMAN IN THE WINDOW 4 NETFLIX DRAMA 5/14 Really good second act but a first act that slogged and a third act that felt forced. Pity. Ruining a movie with THIS cast???
171 MALIGNANT 3.5 HBO MAX HORROR 9/19 I vowed to watch all the WB day and date releases because I bought I big screen the day the news was announced. This one tested my vow.
172 HALLOWEEN KILLS 3.5 PEACOCK HORROR 11/23 This was everything the 2018 reboot was supposed to undo.
173 CRY MACHO 3.5 HBO MAX DRAMA 10/6 Eastwood is done as a leading man. This was just sad.
174 BARB & STAR GO TO VISTA DEL MAR 0.7 PVOD COMEDY 4/21 This movie made Tom and Jerry look like Judas and the Black Messiah. The worst movie I have seen since Mortdecai.

 

%d bloggers like this: