Weekend Trek “Qpid”

It seems like once per season, Q comes back to give the crew of the Enterprise headaches.

It’s not so much so for the audience cause that guy is just a lot of arrogant fun. Or maybe Jimmy and Tom have other ideas when Q tries to play matchmaker.

“Qpid”

Picard gets unexpected visits from both Vash and Q.

jimmy: Well, that was unexpected.

tomk: Are you not a merry man?

jimmy: Merry enough I suppose.

tomk: I suppose next you’re going to tell me you didn’t know Worf was a John Belushi fan.

jimmy: I did not.

tomk: Did you know…anything?

jimmy: I know I’m not Jon Snow.

tomk: That means you automatically know more than Jon Snow

jimmy: Do I know more than Dane Whitman?

tomk: You may know how to hit a target better than Troi.

jimmy: Lucky for Data.

tomk: Eh, he was fine.

jimmy: And conveniently had that disposable body part to make a distraction.

tomk: Data probably has all kinds of extra parts. That or he used Geordi’s appendix after three alarm chili night in Ten Forward.

jimmy: Unless he just carries around extra parts in case a distraction is needed. But that just seems silly.

tomk: Silly? This episode?

jimmy: Surprising. I know.

tomk: Like finding Vash in your personal quarters level surprising?

jimmy: Picard needs better locks on his windows. Though, that would be a nice surprise all the same.

tomk: An open airlock in your quarters on a starship?

jimmy: It’s either that or Worf needs to be fired.

tomk: It can be two things.

jimmy: Indeed. And when your intruder is sexy, it’s ok.

tomk: That’s a rule written directly into the rule book for people who uphold and follow rules.

jimmy: Sexy, and able to take Riker down a peg.

tomk: Plus get along with Beverly.

jimmy: Picard “enjoyed” that.

tomk: That sentence might describe this whole episode.

jimmy: It was paraphrased from the TV Guide description. “Picard enjoys a visit from Q.”

tomk: That sounds like a lie.

jimmy: They forgot the quotes.

tomk: That’s why it sounds like a lie.

jimmy: I know it gave Vash a reason for being there, but the whole archaeological conference seemed like a Simpsons episode where the beginning has nothing to do with the rest of the show.

tomk: But Picard is an amateur archaeologist.

jimmy: They should have had Q take them to the ruins or something to tie the episode together more.

tomk: You say that like Q is helpful.

jimmy: The letter Q can be helpful.

tomk: Like Q Anon?

jimmy: …

The letter Q can sometimes be helpful.

tomk: But what about Q the nearly omnipotent entity?

jimmy: Never helpful. Though Vash may disagree.

tomk: Vash mostly rescued herself.

jimmy: True. But the further adventures afterwards…

tomk: Well, she doesn’t seem to appear again until Q’s lone appearance on DS9.

jimmy: Picard got new locks on his windows.

tomk: Funny thing about that episode; O’Brien knows all about the Robin Hood stuff for some reason, but neither Q nor Vash knows who he is.

jimmy: I don’t think he was in this one.

tomk: That makes it even funnier. Or stranger. Who told O’Brien what happened?

jimmy: Moe?

tomk: I might have thought Geordi or Riker, but sure.

Everyone always tells their bartender. It’s why Guinan…um…I got nothin’.

jimmy: She’s semi-retired by this point.

tomk: She was semi-retired before. She used to also do Troi’s job…as the expert marksman with a bow.

jimmy: Don’t tell Data.

tomk: Data probably knows.

jimmy: Good thing she didn’t hit his arm and blow him to smithereens.

tomk: See, her aim is better than you thought.

jimmy: Lucky for Data.

tomk: Lucky it wasn’t someone else.

jimmy: Also true. Though Riker had his own issues, “During the filming of this episode, Jonathan Frakes suffered a cut eye when his prop quarterstaff broke after being hit by a sword, and had to be taken to the hospital by Merri Howard. However, due to the rush, he was taken in his Robin Hood-era clothes.”

tomk: Sounds better than when Armin Shimerman had to rush home to check on his kids after an earthquake in full Quark make-up.

jimmy: Indeed.

tomk: But let that be a lesson to you, Jimmy: quarterstaffs are dangerous.

jimmy: That’s why I only use halfstaffs.

tomk: Well, you aren’t using halfshirts.

jimmy: Everyone is happy about that.

tomk: Really?

jimmy: See, not a halfshirt.

tomk: You probably rip a shirt off whenever you flex the wrong way.

jimmy: It’s a blessing and a curse.

tomk: Especially in Canadian winter.

jimmy: I go through more winter jackets that way.

tomk: Well, that’s too bad. Maybe when Q forces you to be King Arthur with the Moose, the Beaver, Marvin Impossible,and Captain Jake as your Knights of the Round Table and either the Ms or Cousin Minka as the Queen, then you’ll learn how to, uh…take care of your cold weather gear or something. Q’s lessons make no sense.

jimmy: He just wanted to do something nice for Picard.

tomk: He should have just gotten him a cake with a stripper in it for Picard’s birthday.

jimmy: Or just leave him alone like he asked.

tomk: Q can’t understand why anyone would want that.

jimmy: Q doesn’t have to deal with Q.

tomk: Sure he does. All his people are named “Q”.

jimmy: But they are all up to the same antics.

tomk: Well, that one we saw when Q was powerless seemed kinda like a dork.

Well, Jimmy, I think it is safe to say Picard learned nothing, Q learned less, and Vash got something from both of them. Plus, Worf hates music. Did I miss anything?

jimmy: Does he hate music or just Geordi’s “playing” which he didn’t appear to know how to do.

tomk: But Geordi can see the notes he doesn’t play.

jimmy: I think that’s a known condition. Synesthesia.

tomk: The VISOR sees all.

jimmy: And Worf’s not into music. He’s a leg man.

tomk: That makes as much sense as anything else.

jimmy: Hey, she had nice legs. For a human.

tomk: Do Klingon women have hooves or something?

jimmy: If they did, Worf wouldn’t have found Vash’s nice.

tomk: I meant there isn’t much difference between Klingon and human legs.

jimmy: Much or any?

tomk: Knees have ridges on Klingons?