Coming towards the end of season one of Young Justice, it would appear the series is starting to wrap up its first storyarc, but there are still a few things left to do, like disappoint Wally and reveal a few characters’ deepest secrets.
That sort of thing happens here as Jimmy and Tom talk the episodes “Coldhearted” and “Image”.
“Coldhearted”
Wally has a special mission while the rest of the Team teams up with the Justice League.
jimmy: There had to be an easier plan that Count Vertigo could have used.
tomk: Like making the surgeons so dizzy they dropped the heart?
jimmy: See? Easy.
tomk: You just have answers for everything, don’t you?
jimmy: No.
tomk: Then you just like getting me to give you answers for everything, don’t you?
jimmy: No. It just seemed awfully convoluted, with so many variables just to “keep his hands clean”.
tomk: He doesn’t use his hands with his powers.
jimmy rolls his eyes
tomk: You’d rather just be all Vandal Savage in the snow?
jimmy: Living forever wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe.
tomk: Some punk kid might try smacking you around.
And if you’re old enough, everyone is a punk kid.
jimmy: And Savage is…older.
tomk: Even Ra’s al-Ghul is a young punk to that guy. He wants the rest of the Light to get off his lawn.
jimmy: Heh
tomk: Superman probably scorched the grass with his heat vision one day by battling the Parasite, Metallo, and let’s say, Moe.
jimmy: So, could Wally have single handedly defeated Savage if he had stuck around?
tomk: I dunno.
I mean, you wouldn’t think so, but he was holding his own. Wally is less experienced than most and we later learn he’s slower than Barry.
jimmy: Spoilers, Tom!
tomk: That’s old DC lore.
jimmy: Speaking of, and maybe it was just the way it was animated, but it didn’t seem like Wally was running that fast.
And if Barry is faster, couldn’t he have done the heart run and still had time to join the fight against the (ahem) snow machines?
tomk: Barry is more experienced. You want experience against flying blizzard dispensers.
jimmy: I love Blizzards. I wouldn’t have sent anyone to stop the flying dispensers.
tomk: You’ll change your mind when 50 pound chunks of solid chocolate come raining down and destroy your mancave.
jimmy: You would think so…
tomk: Especially if one landed on something you cared about.
jimmy: Like my Faberge egg collection?
tomk: Or your framed photo of Cousin Minka.
jimmy: …
We better send Barry.
tomk: By the way, I have a framed photo of Cousin Minka for you for Christmas.
jimmy: And I got you…uh…I’ll be right back…
tomk: I’ll just leave this dozen donuts out for Jimmy when he gets back.
jimmy: …
I’m back! Hey…why is there an empty box of donuts here?
tomk: I was wondering why there was a sudden donut party in the break room.
jimmy: Btw, doesn’t the Justice League have teleportation technology? Couldn’t they have just beamed the heart where it needed to go?
tomk: Only if they have zeta tubes on both sides.
jimmy: It’s always “zeta tubes” with you, isn’t it, Tom?
tomk: No. Sometimes it’s Boom Tubes.
jimmy: After you eat a lot of chili probably.
tomk: Wally does have a high metabolism.
jimmy: And he ran out of snacks.
tomk: What kind of irresponsible person runs out of snacks?
jimmy: I don’t. I’ve got you.
tomk: Huh.
So that’s where my Cheetos went…
jimmy: Well, when you can run at the speed of a 60 year old man, you needs fuel.
tomk: That fast, huh?
jimmy: On a good day.
tomk: Well, I could point out that an responsible person gets his own snacks and doesn’t rely on someone else to provide them.
By the by, do you know anyone who might be interested in these chicken wings?
jimmy: I’ll find them a home.
tomk: Good.
Now deliver this heart to San Francisco. Tony Bennett left one there once.
jimmy: Fine. But I’m not putting any flowers in my hair.
tomk: You can take the Gabbing Geek teleporter.
jimmy: Sweet. If they’re depending on me to run there, I might need that heart for myself.
tomk: You aren’t Kid Flash.
jimmy: I ain’t Kid anything anymore.
tomk: That’s good. It means you’re old enough for shots.
jimmy: Fireball whiskey for me. Shirley Temple for you.
tomk: Well, Wally ended up having a good day considering he didn’t get to fight with the League and learned M’gann was spoken for.
jimmy: Because apparently he was the only one that never figured it out.
tomk: He is so lucky M’gann didn’t read too much of his mind.
jimmy: She probably figured that out real quick around all those teenage boys.
tomk: She may have her own secrets as well.
jimmy: Oh, you tease.
tomk: We can always stop right here and discuss how some future story will show Wally and the queen’s wedding when both are adults.
jimmy: That doesn’t happen.
tomk: That’s true. Have a stack of waffles.
jimmy:
tomk: Anything else to add, Jimmy?
jimmy: Waffles are delicious?
tomk: I meant about the episode. But I have some syrup selections for your waffles in the meantime.
jimmy: No. Onto the Flash Queen Wedding episode!
tomk: Or we could learn M’gann’s secrets.
jimmy: Dun dun dah!
tomk: Ready?
jimmy: Ready.
“Image”
M’gann’s deepest secrets come out in the worst possible way during a mission.
jimmy: She’s a shapeshifter from another planet. Does it really matter what her true form is?
tomk: Would you wanna kiss her in her real form?
jimmy: Well, no. But since she can turn into anyone, would I even have to?
tomk: That’s the sort of thing that gets Black Canary upset.
jimmy: But not Green Arrow.
tomk: He’s a very insensitive man.
jimmy: Indeed.
So, is that J’onn’s true form as well?
tomk: No, he’s a green Martian.
jimmy: Or so he says.
tomk: No, he is. M’gann from the comics is a White Martian but not J’onn’s niece.
jimmy: Maybe she’s J’onn’s niece like Artemis is Oliver’s niece.
tomk: Well, maybe. Roy said a few episodes ago that J’onn has dozens of nieces and nephews.
jimmy: Funny how these nieces show up with no sign of a sibling to the parent.
tomk: We were told M’gann stowed away on a bio ship J’onn used after a visit home.
jimmy: The same old alien stowed away on bio ship story.
tomk: Would you rather we get the live action Supergirl version where she was J’onn’s love interest instead?
jimmy: M’gann was J’onn’s love interest?
tomk: On Supergirl, yes.
jimmy: Awkward.
tomk: She was only his niece on Young Justice.
Also, she sometimes looked like this:
jimmy: Hello, Megan.
tomk:
jimmy: Was an interesting backstory though. Can residents of Mars pick up TV shows over the air?
tomk: Apparently.
jimmy: That’s a hell of a set of rabbit ears.
tomk: What about that kid’s ears?
jimmy: Well, she is a shapeshifter. So she could probably shift into an 86 inch Trinitron with HDMI inputs.
tomk: Oh, of course.
Good thing that doesn’t suggest there will be any side effects to giving blood.
jimmy: I’m going out on a limb and saying this doesn’t match Gar’s comic book origins.
tomk: Nah. In that one, he was infected by a weird disease from a green monkey.
jimmy: Oh. That’s…better?
tomk: Maybe?
Considering Gar’s earliest appearances in the Silver Age Doom Patrol series showed he kept his pompadour haircut in every form he took, it might have been a little silly back then.
jimmy: Like this?
tomk: Yes.
jimmy: I see.
tomk: It was weirder when he took the shape of animals that don’t really have thick heads of hair.
jimmy: That was the best I could find on the Googles.
tomk: Well, you did a good thing, and you set up some more trivia. Have a keg of your favorite beer for your mancave.
jimmy: It’s gonna be a good night!
tomk: Having friends over, or just the Moose, the Beaver, and an open seat for Cousin Minka?
jimmy: All are welcome.
tomk: In that case, have two.
jimmy:
tomk: Well, is Miss Martian now the mole?
jimmy: No. I thought we settled that mole business as being a head fake?
tomk: But she is being blackmailed.
jimmy: She is now.
tomk: It is also worth noting every version of Miss Martian is a White Martian, but YJ is the only continuity I have seen where that’s just a Martian social stigma. Most White Martians are depicted as violent.
jimmy: And love guys named Conner.
tomk: Um, only on Young Justice. Not sure the comic version has any love interests.
jimmy: Remind me, did M’gann name him Conner?
tomk: She certainly helped.
jimmy: That’s a bit creepy.
tomk: Someone had to name him.
I didn’t see you doing it.
jimmy: I wasn’t there.
tomk: Excuses, excuses.
jimmy: Seems like J’onn needs to be paying closer attention to his “niece”.
tomk: OK, I’ll say this now: she really is his niece.
Remember Roy said J’onn had dozens of ’em. M’gann is just one of them.
jimmy: Roy would say that.
tomk: You don’t believe Red Arrow?
jimmy: Would he believe me, Tom? Would he?
tomk: Sure. You’ve got a trusting face.
jimmy: But fine, remove the quotes from “niece”, he still needs to pay more attention to what she’s going through.
tomk: Oh sure. I mean, she let some hints slip in the past.
jimmy: She’s got a lot going on.
tomk: That’s Stacy’s mom.
But M’gann told Conner that White Martians are considered low class on Mars, and she freaked out in her session with Black Canary when Dinah asked why M’gann turned white when M’gann only reverted into her human shape.
jimmy: Like I said. A lot going on.
tomk: But see? Foreshadowing!
jimmy: Smrt.
tomk: And she still doesn’t tell the others later.
jimmy: I thought she might, but she’s still not ready.
tomk: Instead, Counselor Troi sneaks into a house despite being a major dictator and blackmails her. Maybe the Light didn’t have a mole but had plans to acquire one.
jimmy: Perhaps. And apparently Troi is better at this job than on the Enterprise.
tomk: Maybe she should have just been evil all along. And named for an insect.
jimmy: There you go.
tomk: But hey, how about that sitcom?
jimmy: It was a thing. Watson would call it something inappropriate.
tomk: But there were familiar names attached to it.
jimmy: The swapped creator names?
tomk: That was one. The actor names were all established DC characters.
jimmy: I guess I missed that.
tomk: OK, if we look over the cast, we have what looks like (beyond Gar’s mother) a boyfriend, a prankster girl, and two parents.
The parents were Jonathan Lord and Sandra Stanyon. They were the stars in a little remembered series called Silverblade where a couple of former actors went on adventures.
The boyfriend was Paul Sloane, an actor hired to impersonate Two-Face but ended up with the same scars.
And the girl was Rita Farr, Elasti-Girl on the Doom Patrol.
To be fair, I had to look up all of them except Rita.
jimmy: No wonder it went over my head. Those are some deep cuts.
tomk: YJ does very deep cuts sometimes.
Though the Silverblade thing was a tribute to writer Cary Bates, the creator of the series. Greg Weisman is a longtime writing partner of his.
jimmy: Interesting. What era was the Two-Face thing?
tomk: Late 80s.
Or the Golden Age. It’s complicated.
jimmy: Most things with DC continuity usually are.
Maybe we’re living in a rebooted continuity and just don’t know it.
tomk: You mean we’re in a multiverse?
jimmy: Could be. Don’t tell Watson!!!
tomk: Too late. He knows.
jimmy: No wonder he’s so surly.
tomk: That and Miss Martian turned him down for a date.
jimmy: Even white Martians have standards.
tomk: Standards are good to have. Maybe M’gann should have an honesty standard.
jimmy: Yeah, it’s not a good look for her.
tomk: Well, you know all her secrets regardless. Maybe other members of the Team have secrets.
jimmy: That sounds like a secret segue!
tomk: No, I was very blatantly out-in-the-open about that segue.
jimmy: Tom Kelly don’t play at secrets.
tomk: Jimmy Impossible don’t play at snacks.
However, maybe you’d like to learn someone else’s secrets, like where Robin stashes his video games he’s not supposed to play on the Batcomputer or how many talking fish are friends with Aqualad or maybe some more stuff on Conner.
jimmy: All of the above please.
tomk: Well, how about just one of them?
jimmy: Just one? Fine.
tomk: I think you’ll be happy with which one, Turns out Aqualad’s talking fish friends only speak in obnoxious riddles.
Next: Tom and Jimmy will be back soon to chat more Young Justice with the episodes “Agendas” and “Insecurity”.
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