Sometimes, through sheer happenstance, Jimmy and Tom watch an episode of something that is apropos of the time of year.
That sort of happened with what could be a good Halloween-centric sort of episode for Star Trek the Next Generation. But the holiday was over by the time they finished their chat, and a Thanksgiving episode seems unlikely. Plus, Jimmy is Canadian and already celebrated his.
Regardless, the guys chatted about “Night Terrors”.
Odd things begin to happen around the Enterprise after the discovery of a missing science vessel.
jimmy: Definitely a good episode for around Halloween. Almost like a reverse Nightmare On Elm Street.
tomk: That’s what happens when you meet the alien Kruegerites.
Were you disappointed we never saw these aliens?
jimmy: Not really. You?
tomk: A little.
Just a glimpse of their ship would have been nice.
jimmy: There was. As they broke free. And according to the “Next week on…” promo, it got a massive CGI upgrade.
tomk: Oh, I see.
You truly are smart.
jimmy: Smarter than those aliens. They could tell Troi “one moon circles,” in English but can’t say, “Hyrdogen, yo.”
tomk: They were hoping for a universal language. Like math or science. Besides, there is a character who used the hydrogen atom as his personal symbol for that very reason.
jimmy: Sure. Send the symbol then. But if I can figure out how to chat about the moon, I can figure out the word for hydrogen.
tomk: Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.
jimmy: We don’t know about that yet.
tomk: Watson, his pants unzipped?
jimmy: No, but thanks for the mental image.
tomk: The Moose without a piece of cake.
jimmy: He’s sad.
tomk: At least he’s isn’t suicidal.
jimmy: He got his rem sleep.
tomk: That’s very important. Everybody needs to dream.
tomk: Don’t you dream?
jimmy: I dream the impossible dream.
tomk: Do you also fight the unbearable foe?
jimmy: Only when they are asking for it.
tomk: It is your quest. To follow that Star. To dream the impossible dream!
jimmy: Ya know. It’s a good thing Data is immune to so many things that affect humanoids, or the Enterprise would be toast several times over.
tomk: Oh, someone would have come up with something.
jimmy: I dunno.
tomk: It’s what they do.
That said, having a member of the crew who is often immune to something is the role Spock used to fulfill.
jimmy: Well, he’s the closest this show has to Spock…besides, actual Spock.
tomk: Spock comes later.
jimmy: Or both.
tomk: That said, Spock probably needs sleep.
jimmy: Everyone does but Data. Good thing Troi could figure out her dream as opposed to the other Betazoid who just went mad.
tomk: Troi likes floating?
jimmy: Maybe that’s who the other guy saw in his dreams?
tomk: Well, it was him or someone else.
jimmy: Seeing a mermaid with legs could leave you in a state of shock as well.
tomk: That mermaid is responsible for the deaths of 27 people.
jimmy: You can’t trust those Disney princesses.
tomk: Mermaids routinely drown people in folklore. They sing enchanted songs and mesmerized sailors try to swim out to meet them, but they’re a cold-blooded people who get their jollies watching sailors exhaust themselves in long swims in rough seas.
jimmy: But do they know what hydrogen is?
tomk: Water is two parts hydrogen to one part oxygen. Plus, “hydro” means water.
jimmy: So if Troi had seen a mermaid, this would have been a short episode?
tomk: And if she weighed as much as a duck, she’d be made out of wood, and therefore…
jimmy: A witch?
jimmy: I’m sure people from that time would think Troi was a witch.
tomk: Well, her general choice of attire doesn’t help there.
jimmy: Witches show a lot of cleavage?
tomk: Depends on the witches.
jimmy: Haven’t seen that.
tomk: Yes, well, it exists. As does those witches.
jimmy: Troi would fit in with that crew.
tomk: She’s usually as competent.
jimmy: Haha. Zing!
tomk: But when it comes to dream messages…well, take who you can get.
jimmy: Too bad Data didn’t dream of anything other than electric sheep, or they would have sorted this all out much sooner.
tomk: I am sure his very long message would have gotten through just fine.
jimmy: Heh. I’m not even sure Troi got her message through or did they just get lucky? They had like a minute and a half and she spent the whole time floating around saying “where are you?”
tomk: It must have gotten through. That or “where are you” is their word for “NOW!”
jimmy: Or they were like, “Geez, she’s back again, I can’t take it anymore, let’s try to blow ourselves up….hey we’re free!”
tomk: Also works. Have a taco.
tomk: It’s made without GAGH!
jimmy: Thank God.
tomk: If it wasn’t that way, you’d be having a nightmare.
jimmy: I certainly would. Now that you’ve put the image in my head, I still may.
tomk: But you’d still be getting REM sleep, so you could help Data run the ship.
jimmy: I’d be more help than Troi.
tomk: You could even sit in Picard’s chair. “Captain Jimmy” has a nice ring to it.
jimmy: I like it.
tomk: Good. How do you get out of this null power zone?
jimmy: Data can figure it out.
tomk: Well, you have captaincy all figured out then.
jimmy: I like to think so.
tomk: Now just take a moment and realize you lose the job once Picard gets a power nap.
jimmy: That’s fair. It was funny seeing Picard order Riker to go take a nap though.
tomk: And when Data did the same?
jimmy: Not as funny.
tomk: Learn to laugh then, Captain Jimmy.
jimmy: Right after I push Ensign Watson out this air lock.
jimmy: Someone keeps transporting him back onboard.
tomk: That’s the Moose. It hurts our insurance premiums if he dies.
jimmy: The needs of the many and all that.
tomk: Well, are there many more things to say here?
jimmy: Doesn’t seem like it. The moral of the story is to make sure you dream or be an Android.
tomk: Yes. And don’t enter weird voids you can’t see until you’re inside of one.
jimmy: Always good advice.
tomk: Shall we go on? We got another Geordi episode next, but not about his love life, or lack thereof, this time.
jimmy: About books and rainbows I guess.
tomk: Um, no. Would you like to take a look anyway?
jimmy: I would.
tomk: Ok then.