March 2, 2024

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Succession “Tern Haven”

Season Two, Episode Five.

It’s not exactly a surprise that the Roys are terrible people, but perhaps the best way to show how terrible they are is to put them up against another rich family that is in every way possible better human beings than the Roys.

Yup, time to meet the Pierces.

Now, Logan Roy has been looking to buy PGM for ages, partly for personal reasons due to bad press or some snubs or the like he got from the company.  He therefore blames the Pierces, but the Pierces want to make sure whoever buys the company is, well, not completely awful or likely to ruin what they built or something.  To that end, the entire Roy clan is invited to the Pierces for a few days to size the buying family up.  Logan, using tips from Rhea (someone the kids either don’t know or don’t trust that much), to know a few things.  Kendall is coming late under a pretense and the rest of the family is told what to talk about and what not.

Dude, Roman should probably not say anything.  And he’s bringing the girlfriend he still hasn’t slept with along for the ride.  At least Connor left his escort gal pal at home…

Also left behind:  Cousin Greg.

The plan is to set Tom (as head of news) as a fall guy while the others do their best to be charming.

Wow, how did anyone ever think that could go right?

I do know a lot of people, some personally, who will tell you there’s no such thing as a benevolent billionaire, but the Pierces look like they may come the closest.  At the least, they like each other and seem to want to contribute back to society while also being left-leaning to Logan’s presumably right-leaning politics.  And these are the Roys, so they can be counted on to screw things up.

Except for Kendall who mostly keeps his mouth shut and finds a bond with black sheep of the Pierce family Naomi.  They go off to get high and it turns out both of them were hit hard by the Waystar tabloid press in the past for their drug problems.

So, the rest screw up.  Tom is a little too much of a jackass for the whole “fall guy” routine.  Connor gets into a half-assed political argument with the member of the family that works for the Brookings Institute and looks like Ron Jeremy.

How did Mark-Lynn Baker grow old and turn into Ron Jeremy?  Oh, I kid.  It’s always nice to see Cousin Larry.  Besides, there’s something inherently amusing about how no one seems to get all that mad at Connor and mostly seems to be just humoring his political ambitions even as he accuses people of stupid conspiracy theory nonsense.

Oh, and as for the others:  Roman says too much about his (lack of) sex life, and Shiv blurts out that she’s the heir apparent, to the shock of all of her brothers.

Meanwhile, the Pierces include a guy getting a second Ph.d, and they recite Shakespeare in lieu of prayers before meals while letting the servants have a drink during the cocktail hour.  Then they go stargazing after dinner and live in a house that screams “OLD MONEY”.

They’re everything the Roys probably think they are.  It makes Logan furious enough to tell off everyone, including Marcia, and Marcia, she won’t sit or stand for that.

That said, Pierce matriarch Nan does comment how nice it is that Logan’s wife isn’t some trophy but someone close to his own age

Somehow, the deal is finalized even as Logan refuses the Pierce conditions that include publicly announcing Shiv as his heir.  Why?  Because of something Kendall said to Naomi the night before and Logan’s blunt “Just take the money.”

So, to review, the Roys completely humiliated themselves in every way possible, but still got what they wanted…for now at least.

This is Succession.  Nothing good ever last forever here.  Quite frankly, these people don’t deserve it.