December 7, 2021

Gabbing Geek

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Doctor Who “The Bells Of Saint John”

The Doctor has to deal with people getting their minds sucked into WIFI devices.

Wait a minute…you mean the Doctor had a motorbike that could ride up the side of a building all this time and he never got around to using it before?

You just know the Third Doctor would have made good use of that thing.

Anyway, what’s up with the title?  Well, it seems that in 13th century Cumbria, there’s a monastery where a mysterious man referred to as the Mad Monk resides.  The Abbot doesn’t care for the term since the man is not really a monk.  But he is summoned when the Bells of Saint John start ringing.

That’s the telephone on the TARDIS because of course the Mad Monk is the Doctor, and the TARDIS does have a reference to “St. John’s Infirmary” or the like on the side of it. Basically, someone is calling the TARDIS.

How does anyone get that number anyway?

Never mind.  It’s Clara, the woman the Doctor is trying to find, calling what she thinks is a tech support number because the WIFI at her friend’s place isn’t working right.  She’s calling from present day London, the Doctor is in 1208…yeah, so far this is very typical for this show.

However, the Doctor can’t really help Clara from 1208.  Not with the real problem.  See, there’s this WIFI signal and, when people try to use the signal written in an obvious alien language, they get their minds or souls or whatever sucked into the Internet while their bodies appear dead.  The conscious part is then very confused about where they are or why they got there.

Why anyone would click a WIFI signal written in an alien language I don’t know.  Point is, it’s happening a lot, and the people behind all this decide Clara is next, but their mysterious client warned them to watch out in case the Doctor showed up.

Fortunately, the Doctor shows up.  Unfortunately, he looks like a crazy person, so she won’t let him inside.  Then a weird robot that looks like a girl from a book possibly written by Amy shows up, but it’s actually a walking WIFI hotspot that sucks Clara into the Net, leading the Doctor to outhack an office full of computer nerds to save Clara, declaring her off-limits and under his protection.

You know, a lot of bad guys could maybe get away with their evil schemes if they’d just leave the Doctor’s companions alone.  Miss Kizlet certainly didn’t learn that lesson.  She is sucking up all kinda of people, and the Doctor, well, he’s just another challenge.  So, while she talks to the Doctor through random people on the street, Clara gets zapped into the Net again by a walking WIFI hotspot that looks like the Doctor.

That was dumb.  Now there’s another Doctor lookalike, and if there’s anyone who can repurpose a walking hotspot that looks exactly like himself to service his own needs, it’s the Doctor.  He just uses the ‘bot to zap Miss Kizlet into the Net, and funny thing, once it happens to her, well, she has to restore everyone else to restore herself.  Clara and everyone else is fine, the Doctor calls UNIT, and that should be that.  Clara obviously will become the Doctor’s next…wait, she said no?

She said she needs time to think so he needs to come back the next day?

And he really wants to know how she ended up dying in two different time periods?

I think I may be beginning to see why the fans didn’t like her.  The only really reluctant companions are the accidental ones.

Oh, and the mystery client was the Great Intelligence.  He orders Kizlet to reset the minds of all of her employees before UNIT learns anything.  That makes all of her people forget the last few weeks or so…and Kizlet doesn’t remember much beyond her childhood from the looks of things.  That sounds terrible, but on the bright side…we get some more of Richard E. Grant!

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