So, Jimmy and Tom had a fun conversation about the TNG episode “Future Imperfect” and somehow did not once make a Hulk reference. That’s…something that happened.
So, that’s out of the way. What did they have to say about Riker’s possible future?
Riker wakes up after an accident as Captain of the Enterprise and learns he has forgotten the previous sixteen years.
jimmy: I guess Wesley didn’t make much of an impression on Riker’s brainwaves.
tomk: He should be well past the ranking of Ensign after 16 years. He’s not Harry Kim.
jimmy: It makes a kind of sense from the future aspect that he wouldn’t be there, but still…
tomk: The future is weird. Look who Beverly was taking hair style tips from:
jimmy: That…looks about right.
tomk: Not as neat as Picard’s beard.
jimmy: Picard looked like he had given up cutting what hair he did have altogether.
tomk: And Riker told him to shut his gob.
jimmy: And about damn time too.
tomk: You wanted him to?
jimmy: He had it coming. That smug bastard.
tomk: Anyone else you wanna tell off while you’re here?
jimmy: Where’s Watson?
tomk: Not on the Enterprise.
jimmy: Off making evil plans with Wesley.
tomk: I don’t know that Wesley needs a Watson for that.
jimmy: We’ve both seen it before, but your memory is much better than mine, did you remember what was going on and the root cause?
tomk: I remembered the kid was responsible.
jimmy: You can’t trust a Jean-Luc.
tomk: Better to trust a Jean-Pierre.
jimmy: You certainly can’t trust the ship’s computer.
tomk: It was buffering. No one likes that.
jimmy: I did like how the computer would only “malfunction” when Riker gave it commands.
tomk: Riker doesn’t remember that time he got drunk and made out with it.
jimmy: Or so he says.
tomk: He doesn’t remember the past sixteen years, like when he married that hologram.
jimmy: He learned it from watching Geordi.
tomk: Except he did it first.
jimmy: Well, not the marrying part. Geordi did that during the 16 year gap.
tomk: Man, we missed so much. Like where Worf got that scar.
jimmy: Geordi’s bachelor party.
tomk: You gonna trace everything back to Geordi?
jimmy: Sure. Why not?
tomk: Go ahead. Pick on the blind man’s sad love life.
jimmy: Speaking of Geordi, how is it that even in Bones’ time, they could grow a person a new kidney with just a pill, but they can’t replace Geordi’s eyes? Even Fake Rikerson thought enough was enough and gave him cloned eyes.
tomk: Eyes are directly attached to the brain and are primarily made of nerve tissue. The pill in Star Trek IV probably repaired an existing kidney rather than grow a new one. Donuts are plentiful and the Moose has a new keg that isn’t meant to distract you from hard to answer questions courtesy of the Roddenberry estate.
jimmy: Keg eh?
tomk: Also, I think I smell bacon.
jimmy: Is it real bacon, or illusion created by a calamari kid bacon?
tomk: Could you tell the difference?
Bring on the bacon!
tomk: If the kid made it, he might assume you prefer Canadian bacon.
jimmy: He’d be wrong.
tomk: And that’s how you’d tell the difference. Something not quite right would happen.
jimmy: Was it the same actress that played Minuet?
jimmy: Seemed like a silly detail for Holodeck Boy to get wrong.
tomk: Or it says something really messed up about Riker’s mind.
jimmy: Or that.
tomk: I mean, that Romulan Tomalak returned too, but we don’t have to worry about that guy.
jimmy: You mean Admiral Tomalak? That slip of the tongue was more believe than the Minuet thing.
tomk: Ambassador. Yes. This is his third episode or so.
jimmy: Why create such an elaborate ruse? Just made it more likely that Riker was going to figure things out.
tomk: You wouldn’t want to escape a Romulan death trap with Riker at that age?
jimmy: Well, I would, obviously.
tomk: Not with Worf?
jimmy: Sure. Then I could find out how he got that scar.
jimmy: Does it seem like a demotion for Worf to go from the head of Security to…whatever it is that Data does?
tomk: Third in command?
jimmy: Sure, but it seems beneath him to sit hunched over that console all day.
tomk: Data or Worf?
tomk: Goes to show what you know. Worf obviously lost the use of his legs in the same battle that gave him that scar.
jimmy: Poor MVP.
tomk: Even the MVP can be taken by surprise at, let’s say, Geordi’s bachelor party hosted by, let’s say, Ensign Moe.
jimmy: That’s quite the bachelor party to leave a Klingon paralyzed.
tomk: Don’t ask what happened to Geordi’s brother Fred.
jimmy: I won’t.
tomk: Good. Geordi doesn’t have a brother Fred.
tomk: But this is a future where things aren’t quite right…
jimmy: Imperfect you could say.
jimmy: Prior to Minuet, were there any real clues that all was not as it seemed? The computer malfunctions for sure, but that could happen anyway. More of a hindsight thing.
tomk: Most likely. Any other show, and we might have questioned the whole “lost 16 years” thing.
jimmy: Again, an elaborate ruse for no reason. Squidward could have just created the current Enterprise and crew to appease Riker who would spend a lot less energy questioning things.
tomk: Except where that kid came from.
jimmy: Hmm. Good point. But he didn’t have to be Riker’s son.
tomk: What would you have chosen? Picard’s son? He’s bad with kids. Worf’s son? He’s even worse.
jimmy: I would say Picard is worse.
tomk: Worf acknowledged a son long enough to get rid of him.
jimmy: At least he acknowledged him. Picard can barely speak to any children on the Enterprise.
tomk: None of them are his own…that we know of.
jimmy: Yes. I know.
tomk: You know he has kids onboard?
jimmy: Sigh. No.
tomk: Too bad.
But c’mon. Riker would be the best dad on the ship. Geordi would have to explain dating eventually. Data has a poor track record keeping kids alive. Worf is inattentive. Picard doesn’t like children. Crusher and Troi are women and this show wasn’t that groundbreaking…
jimmy: What about O’Brien?
tomk: Well, um…
At least you didn’t ask about Barclay.
jimmy: Lol…I almost did.
tomk: In terms of characters who actually have kids, yes, O’Brien is the best. But we haven’t reached the point where he would get an episode of his own…yet.
Riker has no kids that we know of until Star Trek Picard.
jimmy: And he’s 50/50 on keeping them alive.
tomk: Maybe it was Pulaski’s fault. We haven’t blamed her for anything in a while.
jimmy: Sure. Let’s go with that. Better than blaming everything on Geordi.
tomk: Geordi is not that incompetent. Riker said so.
jimmy: He sure did.
tomk: So, when did you get suspicious about everything?
jimmy: Me? Suspicious?
tomk: Canadian are not generally a superstitious and cowardly lot.
jimmy: Who said anything about cowardly?
tomk: Are they generally a cowardly lot?
tomk: Then stop asking Watson about your own country. Everyone knows the best starship captains and engineers are Canadian.
jimmy: Damn right.
tomk: Your country gave us Kirk and Scotty.
Regardless, anything to add? Since I remembered this one a bit, I did feel that both scenarios felt somewhat like something a kid might come up with.
jimmy: Well, I didn’t remember it but as a weekly show suspected something was up. I started to get suspicious of the kid in the second illusion more so than Tomalak from the first.
tomk: Tomalak is a galaxy renowned jerk.
jimmy: That’s pretty impressive for the galaxy to know.
tomk: He’s that much of a jerk.
jimmy: Well, at least in this one his jerkiness was virtual.
tomk: But somehow still believable.
jimmy: It’s funny to note that when you age everyone up 16 years they all look older than they do now in real life some 30 years later. 🙂
tomk: Being on a starship is very stressful.
tomk: It’s enough to make a person want to move on.
jimmy: That we can do.
tomk: I may have been referring to someone else.
jimmy: Someone not in this episode?
tomk: Lots of people weren’t in this episode. Barclay. Scotty. Sisko. Batman.
Ready to say goodbye?
jimmy: I’ll get some Kleenex.