Why does the Enterprise meet so many god-like beings? Nobody knows, but these people always seem to find all kinds of powerful aliens. Sometimes they’re even friendly.
Jimmy and Tom discuss the crew meeting yet another one in this episode.
Dr. Crusher is fascinated by an alien survivor of a crashed space ship.
jimmy: The Enterprise sure does run into a lot of all powerful beings that just head off into space and are never heard from again.
tomk: You had a problem with Space Jesus?
jimmy: No problem with Space Jesus, just making an observation.
tomk: Good. Space Jesus may not have died for your sins, but space is big
jimmy: I suppose it is.
tomk: Worf might have died for your sins instead.
jimmy: Worf’s taking credit for tutoring Geordi on the ways of women was great though.
tomk: Worf has both A) had more success with women than Geordi despite the fact that B) he only seems to have gotten lucky once because C) he finds most women he meets too fragile.
jimmy: That’s how bad it is for Geordi. He’s behind the guy that got lucky once. And Data.
tomk: Who also got lucky once.
jimmy: Once is all it takes.
tomk: But Christy seems to have changed her mind.
jimmy: Though she might have left Starfleet? She’s never in uniform.
tomk: Maybe she’s someone’s daughter.
Or someone’s wife…
jimmy: It can’t be easy to keep adultery a secret even on a ship of that size.
tomk: Depends. What happens when Geordi learns she’s Picard’s daughter?
jimmy: I think Picard will be more shocked than Geordi.
tomk: He may have firsthand knowledge as to why he’s bad with kids.
jimmy: So when SJ left, did he leave Geordi’s upgrade behind?
That or Christy found Geordi’s holoporn collection.
jimmy: I take it they’re not an item going forward?
tomk: Well, I don’t think she appears again.
jimmy: Maybe she gets assimilated.
tomk: By Doc Hollywood? I knew I couldn’t trust that Michael J Fox!
jimmy: Damn Canadians!
tomk: Oh, some are trustworthy. I hear good things about British Columbia.
jimmy: Those guys. Pffpt!
tomk: Newfoundlaners seem to be very knowledgeable about Spider-Man and Alex Ross. I hear Spidey is their official bird.
jimmy: As he should be. But, back to this one. Did you find an unnecessary amount of time passed during this episode? There were several mentions of it being over a month. I know space is big (or so I hear) but a month on a routine mapping mission for the Federation flag ship seems excessive. It also means the guy with the advanced healing factor took over a month to relearn how to walk? And it took Data and Geordi over a month to hack the escape pod computer?
tomk: It was very advanced. That asshole from Space Jesus’s planet had tech that could shut off the Enterprise‘s air supply.
jimmy: Was it tech? I thought he did it with his own “magic powers”.
tomk: I…wasn’t sure. They never said, but Space Jesus stopped them by touching the computer, didn’t he?
jimmy: The first two people he healed directly by touching them. And then somehow he saved everyone else by making contact with the panel in the hallway of the ship.
tomk: I think I see what the problem is. Space Jesus was the first member of his race that realized they didn’t have to use their powers for evil.
jimmy: And then he turned into a ball of light.
tomk: That was his final form as the Silver Bodysurfer (who was really gold).
jimmy: Ignoring if it was tech or “magic”, those guys sure didn’t mind wiping out everyone on the Enterprise.
tomk: Space Jerks. Or, you know, people tired of unwanted armed guests just ignoring the visitors’ own Prime Directive.
jimmy: Prime Directive, schmime directive.
tomk: Well, I suppose turning some seemingly harmless dude over for immediate execution might be seen as an exception.
jimmy: It tends to only come up in direct vacinity to a home planet.
tomk: That was their territory.
jimmy: True. But the Prime Directive usually only comes up on away missions to other planets and/or Wesley falls in a flower bed.
tomk: Doesn’t matter much. If Space Jesus just asked for sanctuary, the Enterprise could have just flown away without messing with those other guys.
jimmy: Space Jesus don’t need no stinking sanctuary.
tomk: Well, someone did.
jimmy: Maybe that’s where O’Brien was going in his kayak.
tomk: I am trying to figure out how that worked. My guess is his kayak hit the holodeck wall.
jimmy: Is that even possible? I imagine you can get hurt via waves or rocks or whatever, same as real kayaking.
tomk: It’s more of a question of how big the holodeck is.
Then again, Wesley went skiing there once…
jimmy: It doesn’t need to be that big if the holograms are always shifting around you. I imagine you don’t start too far from the center. When there are multiple people though, things get “messy”. Like in Farpoint when Riker went looking for Data. We’re they really just a few feet apart but deceived by the holodeck? That’s some fancy programming.
tomk: It’s probably not something we should think too much about, like whether or not the transporter also sends…your soul!
tomk: That Picard gif looks like Professor X.
jimmy: Purely coincidental.
tomk: I’m sure.
Would things go smoother if Beast, Cyclops, Marvel Girl, and Wolverine we’re on the crew?
jimmy: An X-Men/Star Trek crossover? That’ll never happen.
tomk: Not so much that it won’t so much that it shouldn’t.
jimmy: There’s a lot of weird Trek comic crossovers.
jimmy: Oh that wacky TOS.
tomk: Yeah. TNG never did that.
jimmy: Oh that wacky TNG.
tomk: Huh. This conversation seems more inclined towards weird crossovers than Geordi’s grade school level understanding of dating.
Or Space Jesus.
jimmy: I’m no scholar, but Geordi was just pathetic in his initial attempts at flirting…or just having a sensible conversation.
tomk: Or anything that isn’t engineering. No wonder his best friend is Data.
jimmy: And Space Jesus, well, everyone likes him. Except those aboard the USS Judas.
tomk: Those guys have problems. They don’t seem to like anyone.
jimmy: They haven’t met MVP Worf.
tomk: Who mostly demanded drinks and looking at women when they talk to you.
jimmy: Less talking more synthehol!
tomk: I should do that the next time friends of mine get excited about something I know little about.
jimmy: While it was funny, if the drinks are non-alcoholic what’s the point of sitting around drinking copious amounts?
tomk: That’s a good question that no one really thinks about.
jimmy: Well someone should dammit!
tomk: Besides, I heard the Moose and his no-good friend the Beaver make moonshine out in the woods.
Those guys enjoy a drink of the real thing and wouldn’t be permitted in Starfleet.
jimmy: Also because they are animals.
tomk: Yeah…party animals!
jimmy: Haha, damn right!
tomk: They belong on the Night Crew.
jimmy: I was thinking the same thing.
tomk: And those guys knew how to handle the Borg.
jimmy: And the Bong.
tomk: But mostly the Borg. Those guys keep coming back.
jimmy: …I smell segue!
tomk: Only because I had to drop the segue stinkbomb after you brought up bongs.
jimmy: Shall we move on to my favorite two episodes?
tomk: We can.