All good things must come to an end.  So it is with Justice League Unlimited.  Is this the end of Jimmy and Tom’s ongoing cartoon discussions?

Wait, those guys don’t seem to have lives.  There’s bound to be an announcement at the end of this thing.

In the meantime, settle in as they chat up the last four episodes with “Far from Home,” “Ancient History,” “Alive!” and “Destroyer”.

“Far from Home”

The Legion of Superheroes needs some help, so they pull three Leaguers forward in time!

jimmy:  Like the old adage says, never send a boy to do a girl’s job.

tomk:  So, dispatch Jenny and not Watson?

jimmy:  Always.

tomk:  I see.  Well, how ’bout that Legion?

jimmy:  They’re lucky Supergirl was there.

tomk:  You mean they were lucky they remembered she was free to grab?

jimmy:  Who they grabbed was a total fluke.

tomk:  They knew Supergirl disappeared without a trace that day, never to return.

jimmy:  They did. Something doesn’t add up.

tomk:  They lied to you?

jimmy:  You can’t trust a Brainiac.

tomk:  But he’s the nice one.

jimmy:  Nicer than I through IV I’m guessing.

tomk:  Well, at least I.

jimmy:  Either way. Superman is not going to be happy.

tomk:  He’ll get over it.

jimmy:  I guess we’ll probably never know.

tomk:  What?  You don’t think the next episode won’t show Clark using the Flash’s cosmic treadmill to get her back?

jimmy:  No sir, I do not.

tomk:  Good. Because that would be silly.

Jimmy, you aren’t ready for the League/Legion War.

jimmy:  The Legion wouldn’t stand a chance.

tomk:  You only say that because you can only name three of them on a good day.

jimmy:  Let’s see…Brainiac…Saturn Girl…uh…Moonpie?

tomk:  Man, Bouncing Boy was in this episode and everything.

jimmy:  I figured that would be cheating.

tomk:  You thought he was Moonpie, didn’t you?

jimmy:  …

No comment.

tomk:  Well, you know, there’s Cosmic Boy and Chameleon Boy  from that episode of STAS.

jimmy:  Like I can remember that.

tomk:  Well, there’s still Colossal Boy, Shrinking Violet, Wildfire, Lightning Lad and his sister Lightning Lass, Ultra Boy, Lar Gand sometimes called Valor or Mon El, Star Boy, Triplicate Girl, Timber Wolf, The Boy Who Wasn’t There, Watson Jr, Harvey the Invisible Rabbit, the Moose, The Kid Who Wishes He Was Batman, Bugs Bunny V, and of course Jenny Impossible.

jimmy:  Don’t tell the Ms. about that last one.

tomk:  It’s a thousand years in the future. She might be a descendant.

jimmy:  Still risky, but let’s roll with it.

tomk:  You shouldn’t know too much about your own future anyway.

jimmy:  As long as someone doesn’t blab to me that I don’t come back from my current mission, I should be ok.

tomk:  Look, there was a lot to absorb here. Supergirl had a real story arc over all her appearances. Paul Dini contributed one last script. The Fatal Five got taken down by an archer, a nerd, and a beach ball. Too bad it took Peter so long to realize Mysterio was trying to fool him.

jimmy:  Haha

The time travel was handled well too.  The Legion knew that Supergirl went to the future and never came back.  But because it was their present, they didn’t know why she never went back.  While they assumed she died, no one watching would expect that.

tomk:  The Legion isn’t stupid.

jimmy:  Not when they have a level 12 intellect in their ranks.

tomk:  Yeah. We got, like, a four on a good day here.

jimmy:  Watson really brings the average down.

tomk:  Yes, but the Moose brings it up again.

jimmy:  He is the best of us.

tomk:  I got a guy for that. But you were surprised I had a crew.

jimmy:  Now I know better.

tomk:  There’s no fooling you. Have a pizza

jimmy:

tomk:  So, how about that Fatal Five?  What a bunch of knuckleheads.

jimmy:  Well, they would have beaten the Legion if not for Supergirl.

tomk:  Who never thought to heat vision control disks off people’s foreheads.

jimmy:  Some 12th level intelligence on display there.

tomk:  That’s not even 11th level.

Though, to be fair, it is difficult to aim when you’re fighting 30 superhumans all at once.

jimmy:  Excuses, excuses.

tomk:  Oh, you would have done better?

jimmy:  I’d have been the first one captured.

tomk:

jimmy:  That seems to happen to me a lot.

tomk:  It’s why you need a crew.

jimmy:  Excellent point.

tomk:  It worked for the Legion!  Oh wait…

jimmy:  It didn’t say much for the Legion that their only hope was a girl, ahem, woman from 1000 years ago.

tomk:  Wisdom of the past?

jimmy:  So when the JL gets into trouble they should go grab some help from 1004?

tomk:  Why not?  They already have the Shining Knight.

jimmy:  Well, I guess that settles that.

tomk:  He was the last man standing against Eiling.

jimmy:  Shining Knight is the best. Ok Tom, we get it.

tomk:  There’s also Jason Blood.

I’ll bet Hippolyta is at least that old.

And those are just DC characters that have appeared on the show and aren’t evil.

jimmy:  Either way, they’re probably not going back in time for help. I mean there’s no way the Justice League gets taken over via mind control from just a simple easy to remove device attached to their head.

tomk:  Well, they apparently didn’t have the Emerald Eye of Ekron in the past.

jimmy:  Which could even best a Green Lantern.

tomk:  Well, to be fair, Ekron was a weapon/entity created by the Guardians.  You should have seen what the Emerald Head of Ekron could do in the 52 mini-series.

Also, it was magical.  Magic can beat a GL ring.

jimmy:  Magic. Is there anything it can’t do?

tomk:  Adequately explain One More Day?

jimmy:  I don’t know what you are referring to.

tomk:  Oh, some stupid old story that we’re better off not remembering.

jimmy:  That’s what I thought.

tomk:  Not like those old Silver Age Legion stories that did show Brainiac 5 and Supergirl kinda as a couple.

jimmy:  Oh?  She traveled to the future as well?  I thought it was just the boy.

tomk:  Originally yes, but she came along later. Try not to think about how they first met when he was an adult.

jimmy:  Oh that wacky silver age.

tomk:  Well, we didn’t go to the one from the live action Supergirl who is dating Dream Girl on that show.

jimmy:  That’s Brianiac?

tomk:  Well, sometimes he looks like this:

jimmy:  Oh that wacky CW.

tomk:  What?  You don’t like him with his image inducer on?

jimmy:  Meh.

tomk:  Well, best watch out future Jenny Impossibles don’t end up dating him.

jimmy:  I’ll be long dead by then. Or will I?  Yes, I will.

tomk:  I’ll remember that when Captain Picard, Bouncing Boy (or Moonpie), and I need you help in the far distant future.

jimmy:  If you come back in time to get me, I’ll gladly help out. Wait…you’re alive?

tomk:  Right now?  I should hope so.

jimmy:

tomk:  In the future?  Well, I am working off the theory I could be immortal, and every day I don’t die seems to support that theory.

jimmy:  The math does seem to check out.

tomk:  I’m also reading up on what the future might be like.

Apparently, there will be lots of boob windows.

jimmy:  The future looks amazing.

tomk:  The time bubble is en route to pick you up right now.

jimmy starts doing sit-ups

tomk:  Meanwhile, this episode suggested to me that there was a subtle Supergirl arc going on all this time.

jimmy:  I’d say just more natural character progression. I doubt “get Supergirl to join the Legion and stay in the future” was long planned out.

tomk:  I meant more how going from her first appearance, we’ve seen her mature into an adult that needs to be on her own and away from Clark.

After all, this is Paul Dini’s last DCAU script; he also co-wrote Kara’s first appearance.

jimmy:  It’s funny sometimes how some characters age (often younger ones) in a world where no one really ages.

tomk:  Methinks you would love Young Justice, where the characters aging is baked into the story.

jimmy:  I do enjoy baked goods.

tomk:  So you do.  Have a freshly baked devil’s food cake.

jimmy:

tomk:  You can always share those things, you know.  The Ms. and the Moose might like a slice.

jimmy:  Jimmy don’t share food.

tomk:

Please be advised many of the suggested gifs were far worse than that.

jimmy:  Iconic sketch.

tomk:  Well, we are way off from where we should be.  Any final thoughts on Supergirl or the Legion?

jimmy:  Legion does little for me. Watson being a fan turns me off even more. Happy that Kara found her place in the world, even if it was 1000 years in the future with some guy she hardly knows.

tomk:  Eh, I wouldn’t mess with someone who can punch through steel.

But truthfully, I’ve never been a big Legion fan either.  All I ever wonder if why the people of the future think all their universe-wide superhero work needs to be done by teenagers.

Guest stars?  Sure.  But I’ve never been much for them on their own.

jimmy:  Maybe all grownup superheroes are dead.

tomk:  That would make me even less likely to want kids fighting evil.

jimmy:  It’s fine. What’s the worst that could happen?

tomk:  Those guys had an adult nearby.  You need an adult hero to drive the car or get the beer for the victory party.

jimmy:  lol

tomk:  Besides, the Legion later got their own cartoon that ran for two seasons on Saturday mornings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJQjbGpUtjs

jimmy:  I see Supergirl already lost her job to Superboy.

tomk:  Actually, due to rights issues, the show’s title was Superman and the Legion of Superheroes.

jimmy:  Damn rights issues!

tomk:  I believe that one was a lawsuit from Seigel and Shuster’s estates that kept the company from using the name “Superboy” until it was settled.

jimmy:  Hard to begrudge those guys.

tomk:  Yeah, they were royally screwed by a big media company taking advantage of two naive teenagers.

Not like with Bob Kane.  His daddy got him a literary agent, so he got to be the one to screw over others.

jimmy:  Not like Bob Kane. More like Bill Finger.

tomk:  No, not like Bob Kane.  He played the system and was a jerk about it.

jimmy:  Like Watson.

tomk:  Watson uses rules to his advantage?

jimmy:  I dunno. But the jerk part at least.

tomk:  Would we be in trouble if there was no Watson for these chats?

jimmy:  We’d be just fine.

tomk:  If you say so.  Ready to move on?

jimmy:  3 to go?

tomk:  Yes.

And if we went to the future with Supergirl and Paul Dini, how about next we go to the past with Hawkman and Geoff Johns?

jimmy:  Sounds good to me!

“Ancient History”

Hawkman learns some hard truths!

jimmy:  And so, Hawkgirl poisoned Vixen’s water and they all lived happily ever after. Except for Vixen. The end.

tomk:  Vixen had it coming, being all friendly to her boyfriend’s ex and all.

jimmy:  The opening convo was weird though. “Hey Hawkgirl, I’m going out of town so here’s your chance to make a move on my man.”

tomk:  Eh, Vixen didn’t go far.

Besides, Carter is being…really, really creepy.

jimmy:  Was he though?  All he said to Green Lantern was to say hello to Shayera.

tomk:  Yeah, but that’s, like, stalker behavior from a guy who knows how to capture ghosts without a proton pack.

Plus, he was also really the Shadow Thief all along.

jimmy:  Not that he knew that.

tomk:  But that does make him really, really creepy.

Let us forget about how the previous Hawkman episode suggested the Shadow Thief had been running around and causing trouble for quite some time before Hawkman showed up on the scene.

jimmy:  I don’t remember the sequence of events exactly, but he had touched that mystical database dealie prior to that episode I think.

tomk:  He had, but Hawkgirl recognized the Shadow Thief back then.

jimmy:  Who are you going to believe, Tom?  The evil shadow of a man that believes he is the reincarnation of a 2000 year old alien that ruled Egypt?  Or a traitor that doesn’t believe she is the reincarnation of a 2000 year old alien that ruled Egypt?

tomk:  I believe in Harvey Dent.

Oops, wrong DC continuity…

jimmy:  In either continuity, the Hawkpeople are confusing.

tomk:  That or the writers screwed up.  Geoff Johns was probably mentally planning Doomsday Clock even then.

jimmy:  He consulted his Magic 8-Ball about what to write and it said “Screw Watson”, and so it began.

tomk:  Though around that time, I believe Johns was writing Hawkman’s adventures.  At the very least, he was still writing a JSA series that featured some Hawk people.

jimmy:  The whole Shadow Thief being Hall was weird, but there’s been a lot odder stuff in comics/cartoons.

tomk:  Especially since that was made up for this show.

jimmy:  I figured as much.

tomk:  It’s probably easier to explain than some human thief found a Thanagarian shadow generator and used it to rob things…wait, the original is a much simpler explanation!

jimmy:  No wonder Watson hates Johns so much.

tomk:  Johns also ran over his foot in a mall parking lot.

jimmy:

tomk:  On one final Johns comment…given how much Johns loves Black Adam, it isn’t really a surprise to me that Ancient John Stewart name drops him.

jimmy:  That whole thing was a bit odd.  Was GL supposed to also be a reincarnation of Shiara’s lover from that time?

tomk:  Apparently.  Methinks the absorbocrom is not working right.

jimmy:  I found it funny too that Shiara doesn’t believe in it…but immediately jumps to the conclusion that Shadow Thief is the reincarnation of the right hand murder guy.

tomk:  The one voiced by the same actor as the Thanagarian guy whose brain J’onn fried?

jimmy:  …yes?

tomk:  Good for you for remembering that.  Have a plate of fresh-baked cookies.

jimmy:

tomk:  Got a visitor over there?  Have another plate.

jimmy:  Awesome.

tomk:  Not as awesome as riding a horse with your boss’s wife and getting into a splash fight by an oasis by the looks of things.

jimmy:  But more awesome than being poisoned to death.

tomk:  In a shot that looked like blood until we saw it was wine.

jimmy:  True.  Sneaky.

tomk:  Well, it had to be since it was a love story that probably didn’t happen as depicted.

jimmy:  You think Evil Shadow Guy would lie to us?!?

tomk:  Um, yes?

jimmy:  Man.  If you can’t trust an evil shadow, who can you trust?

tomk:  Batman?

jimmy:  Maybe.  He’s certainly who you go to to ask about your unborn children.

tomk:  It’s not like John was gonna say something.

jimmy:  He probably shouldn’t have told her what he did.

tomk:  “We have a son in the future.  Now, if you excuse me, I am going back to my current fashion model girlfriend who never betrayed the Earth or her own people.”

jimmy:  Haha, exactly.

tomk:  Well, he sure did see how badly things with Shayera can go.  I mean, they died together in the past (maybe), they died together in the future where they had a son (maybe)…

jimmy:  Maybe it was the kind of time travel that creates different dimensions that everyone but Ryan can understand.

tomk:  We’re not getting into Ryan’s time travel problems.  Sometimes you just need to roll with it.

jimmy:  BUT THEY TELL YOU THE RULES RIGHT IN THE MOVIE!!!

tomk:  Just roll with it, Jimmy.

In fact, here’s a pie from the future.

jimmy:  A time travelling pie?  Now there’s an idea!

tomk:  It does not talk.

jimmy:  Well, it is a pie.

tomk:  Well, how did you feel about Hawkman in the end?

jimmy:  He’s fine.  I think the others give him a hard time for being “creepy”, but maybe there is more going on there off camera than we are privy to.

tomk:  Weren’t you the guy who was wondering where those wings came from last time?

jimmy:  I was, yes.

tomk:  So, now you don’t mind?

jimmy:  Did they explain them?

tomk:  No.

jimmy:  Then you have your answer.

tomk:  You truly earned your future pie this time, my friend.

jimmy:

tomk:  How did you like this episode?  Honestly, it’s not one of my favorites.

jimmy:  It was ok.  They do spend an awful lot of time in the past that did have me wondering “Why is Shadow Thief telling them all this?”

tomk:  He was bored on a Saturday night?

jimmy:  I mean, it eventually makes a kinda sense for Shadow Hal to explain who he was and what he was doing.

tomk:  What was his name?  What was his quest?  What is the airspeed velocity of an unburdened swallow?

jimmy:  I don’t know that.

Jimmy flies into the pit of despair.

tomk:  Jimmy, have a ladder.

jimmy:  Thanks.  So not a favorite episode of yours?

tomk:  Not really.  An episode devoted to a romance involving characters who aren’t really the characters they look like?

Hard pass.

jimmy:  I guess it did give us more background on the story that Hawkman believes.

tomk:  Except he didn’t seem to know that part.

jimmy:  He’s a conundrum.

tomk:  Or a doofus.

jimmy:  Lol, yes, or that.

tomk:  But that’s that. Hawkman knows the truth. Probably.

jimmy:  And since it is likely the last we ever see of him, it won’t matter much.

tomk:  Well, maybe. Did you have anything else to add?

jimmy:  Not really.  Penultimate next?

tomk:  Well, it is basically just the bad guys.

If you want to see Lex do his thing one last time before the League gets involved.

jimmy:  Lex is always entertaining.

tomk:  And he’s really close to his goals now.

Shall we move on then?

jimmy:  I thought we had. 🙂

tomk:  Smart ass.

“Alive!”

Lex Luthor enacts his master plan!

jimmy:  Darkseid is.

tomk:  Darkseid is gonna kick your ass?

jimmy:  Mine?  That wouldn’t be much trouble.

tomk:  Then how surprised were you when Luthor brought him back instead?

jimmy:  Very.

You?

tomk:  I still get a little shiver when that happens, and I knew it was coming.

Excellent plot twist.

jimmy:  Darkseid is…not Brainiac.

tomk:  But it did look like he had bits of Brainiac grafted to him.

jimmy:  Hmm. I never really noticed that, but would explain what Luthor had picked up on.

tomk:  True. And it looks like half the bad guys were dead before Darkseid even showed up.

jimmy:  Her name is not Slightly Disgruntled Frost.

tomk:  Eh, Toyman made her look like a chump with a yo-yo.

jimmy:  Also true.

tomk:  Plus, Grodd went out an airlock.

jimmy:  He’ll figure out a way out of that…or so he says.

tomk:  Well, we may not have to worry about that. Or Tala.

jimmy:  Or much of anyone with one episode left.

tomk:  Still think Lex is a better boyfriend than the Joker?

jimmy:  Can we call them equally horrible?

tomk:  Well, Joker never sucked the essence out of Harley to revive someone else. But Lex never really showed Tala any interest. Equally horrible it is!

jimmy:  Don’t tell Lex. He’ll want to be “better”.

tomk:  Better than a psychotic clown?  Well, to each their own.

jimmy:  At least better than a psychic gorilla.

tomk:  Grodd’s worst thing was leaving Giganta in jail.

And man, did that come back to bite him.  She almost squeezed him like a grape.

jimmy:  Probably better than going out an airlock. Or much the same depending on what movie you believe.

tomk:  Well, he’s dead either way.

This is why you don’t recruit Lex Luthor.  If Grodd had left Luthor alone, everyone would probably be a very confused ape right now.  Even aliens and the Moose.

jimmy:  Being an ape is better than being dead or facing Darkseid.

tomk:  Yeah, well, Grodd didn’t have a great plan on any level.

jimmy:  He gets beaten routinely by the Flash. Maybe he’s not as smart as he thinks he is.

tomk:  You wanna tell him that?

jimmy:  Since he’s dead, it doesn’t much matter.

tomk:  Oh yeah.  The talking ape in the superhero universe is nothing to be afraid of.

He is most certainly forever dead and gone.  You’re just saying that based on the fact there’s only one episode left.

jimmy:  There’s still a chance I suppose.

tomk:  Does Lex think so?

jimmy:  That there’s a chance? No.

But given what he had to defend against Grodd and Tala, who knows. He’s like the evil Batman.

tomk:  You mean…Owlman?

jimmy:  Yeah.  That guy.

tomk:  Well, you gotta be a really smart guy to avoid the man with supersenses.

jimmy:  They almost all have a super sense of some kind. Superman: super strength. Flash: super speed. Watson: super douchery.

tomk:  Jimmy:  super impossibility.

jimmy:  Now you’re catching on.

tomk:  Well, how did you like this episode?  Besides the fact it showed why working for Lex Luthor is a bad idea, we also saw why a Secret Society of Supervillains was always doomed to fail.  Villains just do not get along long enough to accomplish much of anything.

jimmy:  I thought it was going to go the whole episode without showing the Justice League at all which would have been something. Though it did come close.

tomk:  They came in at the end, and the only person to speak was one of those guys in a purple jumpsuit.

jimmy:  Cheap day on the casting dollars.

tomk:  Maybe it means the good guys get a bunch of long speeches next time.

SUPERMAN: …and so you see, Darkseid, the Metric System is so much more potent a force in the universe than the Anti-Life Equation.
DARKSEID:  You and your fifteen minute speech have opened my eyes, Superman.  I shall now leave this planet, never to return, until universal weights and measurements are peacefully established throughout the universe.

jimmy:  The end.

tomk:  Meanwhile in Canada…

JIMMY:  Cripes, I didn’t think they could do worse than Terry was Bruce’s secret son…
BEAVER:  Yer tellin’ me.
MOOSE NODS.

jimmy:  Ugh, I forgot about that Terry thing…

tomk:  You would have remembered at an appropriate time.

jimmy:  There’s no appropriate time.

tomk:  Then the time of least convenience.

jimmy:  I didn’t pay close enough attention, was there any rhyme or reason to who sided with who in the villain Civil War?  A couple like Tala and Giganta had obvious reasons.

tomk:  Not really.

Just the ones who Lex pissed off more with his managerial style sided with Grodd, and the ones who hated bananas sided with Lex.

jimmy:  Lol

tomk:  I mean, Lex tried to melt off Goldface’s gold face.  Of course Goldface sided with Grodd.

jimmy:  Yeah, some of them were obvious. And Bizarro is just stupid.

tomk:  Stupid villains need the most love.

jimmy:  Am hug Bizarro.

tomk:  Him hug back. Jimmy alive now.

jimmy:  I suck at trying to write like Bizarro.

tomk:  Does that mean you are good at it?

jimmy:  …

Maybe it does, Tom.  Maybe it does.

tomk:  Does it?

jimmy:  Narrator: It didn’t.

tomk:  Well, the Narrator seems confident. Like Lex Luthor until the smoke clears.

jimmy:  He was as surprised as the rest of us.

tomk:  Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

jimmy:  Especially when led by Darkseid.

tomk:

jimmy:  I’ll give that to Darseid, he’s usually not one to drag things out.  Omega eye blast, done.

tomk:  So, you aren’t expecting a two hour series finale?

jimmy:  I’m expecting 22 minutes.  Am I wrong?

tomk:  No. Have a cheeseburger with a side of fries.

jimmy:  Lunch.  Perfect.

tomk:  The Moose ordered a pizza. Done Omega Hot.

jimmy:  The whole Darkseid/Brainiac destruction…that’s was pre-season 3 right?

tomk:  Do you want it to be?

jimmy:  Doesn’t matter just trying to remember.

tomk:  Well, they weren’t planning on doing another season originally.

jimmy:  Right. My point was that they’ve done a good job folding in the continuity of previous shows. Like with Lex being Brainiac.

tomk:  And J’onn being Grodd and Terry being Spider-Man.

jimmy:  J’onn…he hasn’t been seen in a while. Carl Lumbly must have been busy.

tomk:  That or he made someone really mad.

jimmy:  Or both.

tomk:  Maybe the Moose knows. Or it doesn’t matter because the show is almost over.

jimmy:  It matters to someone I’m sure.

tomk:  Well, this episode being a big villain brawl, there may only be one thing left to point out: actor Daniel Dae Kim, best known for Lost, was the voice of Merton.

jimmy:  Oh, was he?  Cool.

tomk:  So, anything else to add here?  I mean, it took Darkseid five seconds to get Apokalips back under his thumb.

jimmy:  Ha, yeah.  Just shows up in a civil war and says, “Stop that, you’re being silly.”  War over.

tomk:  Like when you get home after a long vacation.

jimmy:  Except I’m the one being told to “stop that”.

tomk:  Best do what the Ms says.

jimmy:  I’ve learned that, yes.

tomk:  Smart man. Here’s a root beer float…for her.

jimmy:  Good call.

tomk:  So, ready for a big finale?

jimmy:  I’m nervous.

tomk:  Why?

jimmy:  What if everyone dies and Darkseid wins?

tomk:  It’s still a finale.

I mean, it could be just Batman, Flash, Cyborg, Mera with a British accent, Deathstroke, and the Joker in the end. Who wants to see that?

jimmy:  Just one guy.

tomk:  Greg?

jimmy:  Maybe.

tomk:  Well, it probably doesn’t matter.

jimmy:  No.  I have a feeling that’s not how it ends.

tomk:  That seems like a good feeling.

jimmy:  I guess there’s only one way to find out.

tomk:  Yes. Read a summary off Wikipedia.

jimmy:  …

Ok, two ways.

tomk:  Ask Watson for spoilers?

jimmy:  Stop that, you’re being silly.

tomk:  Civil war over.

Ready for the last time?

jimmy:  Ready.

tomk:  You asked for it…

“Destroyer”

It’s Darkseid vs Everybody!

jimmy:  And that, as they say, is that.

tomk:  Oh, so we don’t have to say anything?

But I could point out, back when we were talking about the first time Lex appeared on Justice League, you said this:  And 10 years from now Lex will save us from Darkseid!

jimmy:  No, I did not!  Did I?

tomk:  Go check.  I’ll wait.

jimmy:  Well, waddaya know? I’m a prophet!

tomk:  Yes, yes you apparently are.  Have a chocolate cake.  It’s set aside for prophets, so you know it’s extra good…mostly because as a prophet, you knew it was coming.

jimmy:  I didn’t bring this fork and napkin for nothing.

tomk:  You also get a certificate of prophecy and a dozen donuts.

jimmy:  It’s a good thing this rewatch is at an end or I am going to be as big as a house.

tomk:  Are we also quitting the Next Generation rewatch?

jimmy:  No. I better put on my turkey pants.

tomk:  You’ll never stop a parademon with that attitude.

jimmy:  They didn’t seem so tough. Some random fat guy was punching them out left and right.

tomk:  That’s not a nice thing to say about the Atomic Skull.

jimmy:  He’s just carrying a little nuclear weight.

tomk:  Unless you meant that other random fat guy.

jimmy:  Uh, yeah.

tomk:  He changed shape. He was fat by choice.

jimmy:  An…interesting choice.

tomk:  He was also happy. You got a problem with Martian joy?

jimmy:  I’d prefer Almond Joy, but I got no problem with that.

tomk:  You can have my Almond Joys. I don’t care much for coconut.

jimmy:  Coconut is delicious.

tomk:  I have other candies for you if you prefer:

jimmy:  I’ll pass on those.

tomk:  Well, how did you like this final episode?

jimmy:  Better than the “PS Bruce is Terry’s father” epilogue finale.

tomk:  Still mad at that, I see.

jimmy:  No.

Well, maybe a little.

tomk:  Would you feel better with a Scooby Snack?  Or better still, a Jimmy Snack?

jimmy:  I’ll take both and just try to forget about the Terry thing.

tomk:  For that, I have a croquet mallet.

jimmy:  Hit me after we finish this discussion.

tomk:  Ok. How about the episode itself?

jimmy:  In seriousness though good episode. A better send off for the Leaguers and they really pushed home that point with the extensive transporting scenes and the descent down the stairs at the end.

tomk:  The descent down the stairs?  When they ran out in groups that were actually significant to who came out when?

jimmy:  Yeah, that.

tomk:

https://youtu.be/YyDdnAlNqis

So, here’s the group. First out is Metamorpho and B’wana Beast, so you got your Silver Age weirdos.

Then there’s Captain Atom, Hawk, Dove, and the Creeper. All characters either created by or worked on by Steve Ditko.

Then you get most of the Seven Soldiers of Victory.

Then you get the Justice Society.

Then the heroes created for the Justice League’s Detroit era when the team moved there just before the Crisis.

Then the post-Crisis humor era heroes.

Then Zatanna and Red Tornado for Silver Age Leaguers.

Then Green Arrow and Black Canary.

Then the founders with the Trinity in the rear.

The last one you see is the one who started the DCAU, Batman.

jimmy:  Almost like they planned it out.

tomk:  The writers and storyboard artists?  Probably.

jimmy:  Maybe it was just me, but I didn’t find the sequence well animated.

tomk:  Well, maybe they did that on purpose to bother you years later.

jimmy:  Heh. Sure. 🙂

Actually, I found there were quite a few lip sync issues as well. Like they had gone back and tweaked the script and voicework after the animation had been completed.

tomk:  Cripes, are you ever satisfied?  Next thing, you’ll be telling me you ride shotgun with the Question driving through alien invasions.

jimmy:  No.

I’d be driving.

tomk:  Probably for the best. Never let the Question drive.

jimmy:  Unless you need him to wipe out some parademons.

tomk:  Well, they had it coming. Everybody gets to smack those guys.

jimmy:  And it only takes one.

tomk:  One what?  Catapult?

jimmy: One smack.

tomk:  Well, gee Jimmy. You must have been happy at the many ways to smack those guys. Batman even got Darkseid to smack one.

jimmy:  Batman, the only guy to ever evade Darkseid’s omega beams.

tomk:  No one ever really tried before.

jimmy:  Luthor certainly never.

tomk:  He had other things to do.

And leave it to Lex Luthor to make a massive invasion of the Earth as a personal insult.

jimmy:  He didn’t care about Earth. He just wanted revenge on Darkseid for “killing” Brainiac.

tomk:  He sounded so mature whenever he said that.

jimmy:  “Waaa!  Me wants my Brianiac!”

tomk:  Well, he got something else instead.

jimmy:  A power suit?

tomk:  The Anti-Life Equation.

jimmy:  Oh right. That old thing.

tomk:  After Superman gave the best speech of the entire series.

jimmy:  So good I don’t even remember it.

tomk:  …

You forgot “world of cardboard”?

jimmy:  Oh, yes yes. Now I remember.

The only thing with that though…

He cuts loose and lays a city destroying beating on Darkseid that Zack Snyder would be proud of, and when he’s like “Yo Darkseid, you had enough bitch?”  Darkseid hardly seems beaten and is ready to go again.

tomk:  You always have to find faults.

jimmy:  Am I wrong?  I feel like if Luthor hadn’t shown up, Darkseid would have won.

tomk:  Perhaps. Don’t you trust Batman to finish the job Superman started?

jimmy:  He’d probably end up getting sent back in time or something.

tomk:  What about everybody else?

jimmy:  Combined…maybe they find a way. None of them could defeat Darkseid alone.

tomk:  Maybe it’s a good thing you weren’t there. The awesome power of the Canadian Pessimist would have worked against them.

jimmy:  If I was there, I’d probably be the only one of them to get defeated by a parademon.

tomk:  Even with the Moose as backup?

jimmy:  Oh?  That’s different then.

tomk:  Then you do as well as Zatanna or something?

jimmy:  Yes. But not look as good in fishnets.

tomk:  That goes without saying.

jimmy:  What did you think of it all?  Your final comment leading into this was “you asked for it”, which seemed to imply disaster.

tomk:  No, just pointing out you asked for it. It’s like 20 minutes of brawling and two minutes of everything else. But the adventure continues according to Diana.

jimmy:  Onto season 4 I guess.

tomk:  About that…

jimmy:  No season 4?

tomk:  Nope. Sorry.

jimmy:  Trinity Season 1?

tomk:  Uh uh.

jimmy:  Oh, I know. World’s Finest Season 1.

tomk:  Judges?

jimmy:  Geez. So when do we find out what happened to Lex and Darkseid?

tomk:  Nope.

We don’t.

jimmy:  Then..what’s next?

tomk:  For the DCAU?  Or for you, Jimmy Impossible, debonair man-about-town?

jimmy:  Haha. Both.

tomk:  The DCAU has some stuff we skipped. We didn’t cover Static Shock, and I have no good explanation for that. We skipped The Zeta Project, and I have a damn good explanation for that. Teen Titans is kinda off to the side. There’s some direct to video movies that may or may not count depending on whom you ask.

For you…I dunno. You could maybe go outside.

Or watch this cast reunion:

https://youtu.be/P0IDnv1x8R8

jimmy:  I’ll certainly watch that later, but I’m up for whatever.

tomk:  But Jimmy, you still haven’t said what you thought of your journey through the DCAU.

jimmy:  That’s a big question.  It had its highs and some lows, but for the most part largely enjoyable.  A large majority of it was new to me which was great as a big fan of BTAS and to a lesser degree STAS.  I’m disappointed it is coming to an end, but I guess everything runs it’s course.

tomk:  Favorite moments?

jimmy:  Geez.  I dunno.  Not Bruce being Terry’s dad that’s for sure.  Plenty of the usual moments like “Heart of Ice,” etc.

tomk:  That time I told you that you’d never see the Clock King again…

jimmy:  That was glorious.  Or the time 500 words ago I learned I was a prophet.

tomk:  And the less fun times. Like when you learned the Incredible Bulk was a real movie.

Or anything with Baby-Doll or the Talking Cat.

jimmy:  You had to be cruel to be kind.

tomk:  But then there was Batman taking down Dr. Destiny, or Mr. Freeze’s whole story arc and Booster Gold being mistaken for the Green Lantern for some reason.

jimmy:  Booster can’t get no respect.

tomk:  Can you?

jimmy:  If you ask someone besides Watson, maybe.

tomk:  Well, good.

Since we are at the end, rating the shows is probably difficult. But what order would you put them in, and how disappointing is it Jenny won’t see them?

jimmy:  Very.

Hard to rank.  Let’s say solo Bats, JL, JLU, solo Supes, Batman Beyond?  Maybe BB before STAS?  Man, they’re all pretty close and if you asked me tomorrow they’d probably differ. Except BTAS, that is iconic.

tomk:  I would probably go BTAS, JLU, JL, STAS, BB.

Who was the better Superman:  Tim Daly or George Newbern?

jimmy:  That is almost what I had, but I liked the multipart and trimmed down roster of JL more.

Hmmm, good question on Superman. Also close. I want to say Daly, but Newbern probably did more.

tomk:  I think Newbern did a bit better.  His Superman had some more emotional depth.

Daly was a lot more “stock heroic”.

jimmy:  I can see that. Sometimes it’s what you’re given to work with though.

tomk:  True.  Not sure what Daly would have done with “Lex flippin’ Luthor!” and “World of Cardboard”.

Both men still play Superman in various animated direct-to-video movies.

jimmy:  Daly did the Brainiac non-DCAU one I think?

tomk:  Yes.  So did most of the STAS cast.  They just recast Powers Boothe as Lex Luthor and Lance Henrinksen as Brainiac.  That said, it was a crappy movie.  Lex was played as a comedic figure…

jimmy:  No one wants that Jesse Eisenberg.

tomk:  Newbern played Superman in the video games DC Universe Online and the Injustice games.

Susan Eisenberg is also still playing Wonder Woman quite a bit.

jimmy:  And Conroy still Bats.

tomk:  Carl Lumbly was J’onn’s father on the CW’s Supergirl, and Phil LeMarr played his brother.

Daly, Conroy, Eisenberg, Lumbly, and Rosenbaum were all in the direct-to-video adaptation of Tower of Babel too.

Though Rosenbaum was playing Barry Allen in that one.

jimmy:  That’s cause no one likes Wally West.

tomk:  I do.

jimmy:  Of course people do, Tom, that was Watson bashing, just play along.

tomk:  We can bash Watson, but there’s no reason to drag Wally West into all that.

jimmy:  Fine.

Not having the Bat family around for JL/JLU for the most part was disappointing.

tomk:  Losing Aquaman for the final season of JLU was…less so.

jimmy:  That’s how you do it, Tom!

tomk:  Permissions are a tricky thing.

jimmy:  It’s why you can’t watch Incredible Hulk on D+.

tomk:  Does D+ have this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0eFPON4BKQ

jimmy:  No, but they should. (And I imagine there’s some rights issues for why the real Spider-Man sixties cartoon is not on there too.)

tomk:  Well, I’d ask you to rate the entire run of this project, but that might be hard.  Are you glad you made this journey?  Remember you said you did about The Westeros Watch.

jimmy:  Certainly. I always was a fan of the DCAU from the BTAS/STAS days, the subsequent series just fell off my radar with different pursuits.

I’d probably give the DCAU run as a whole an A. There’s a handful of garbage in there, but plenty of A+ material as well.

tomk:  And I will give it 10 out of 10 Happy Jimmys.

jimmy:  That’s the best kind of Jimmy.

tomk:  Much better than that one Watson keeps namedropping.

jimmy:  He’s alright. Don’t listen to Watson.

tomk:  OK, well…did you have any ideas where to go next?

jimmy:  It’s your rodeo.

tomk:  I have some options.

jimmy:

tomk:  We can stay in DC and try something in a more humorous vein with Batman the Brave and the Bold.

Or we can go with the DCAU’s best rival for “best ongoing DC-based animated series” with Young Justice.

We can try Disney’s attempt to do their own BTAS with Gargoyles, a series created by Young Justice creator Greg Weisman.

Or we can try Marvel with Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, a show that I actually found quite good in its own right.

What do you think?  I am fairly sure the last two are on D+.

jimmy:  Though the Marvel Zombie in me thinks I should pick Avengers, I’m almost leaning towards Young Justice.

tomk:  We could ask Jenny if she wants in for that one.

jimmy:  Yeah.  Good luck.

tomk:  So, Young Justice then?

jimmy:  Sounds good.  Now to track it down…

tomk:  We can take a little time off before we continue since you may need the time to both find the cartoon and maybe work off some of those cookies.

jimmy:  I’ll start doing crunches right now!

tomk:  In that case…I think we’re done here.  I’d like to thank all of our readers, even if they may be fictional, and from there, just remember:  He is vengeance.  He is the night.  He is Batman.

COMING SOON

Jimmy and Tom talk Young Justice.