Going Through The DCAU Part Eighty-Eight

Cartoon Network somewhat unexpectedly renewed Justice League Unlimited for a third season, something that took the producers of the series off-guard since they had already aired an episode they considered a series finale.

However, we still got thirteen more episodes, so here to see where all that goes, Jimmy and Tom check out the first three episodes of that final season with the episodes “I Am Legion,” “Shadow of the Hawk,” and “Chaos at the Earth’s Core”.

“I Am Legion”

A new threat emerges with some familiar faces while Flash, Hawkgirl, and Fire look into an infiltration of Blackhawk Island.

jimmy:  Lex sure didn’t waste any time getting back on the wagon.

tomk:  The paddy wagon?

jimmy:  He stole that.

tomk:  He had to get on it first.  But yes, he’s a bad guy again.  He just really wants to be able to merge with his roommate again as a godlike being who may want to destroy all of creation.  I don’t see for a moment why Grodd would want to go along with that.

jimmy:  For 25%. Gorillas are all about the Benjamins.

tomk:  Yes, well, Grodd may have other plans that will never involve wearing pants.

jimmy:  He’ll never get any service that way.

tomk:  He has people for that.

jimmy:  They never come out and say it, but I guess he’s running the Legion of Doom there as an almost mirror reflection of the Justice League.

tomk:  Or fan service to Superfriends fans.

jimmy:  That wasn’t obvious at all with the swamp hideout design.

tomk:  Or just having Lex and Grodd in the center of it all.

jimmy:  That…I wouldn’t know.

tomk:  I probably showed you this before, but look over the opening credits:

Also present in the background of Grodd’s group from the old show:  Bizarro, Giganta, Toyman, Sinestro, and maybe Captain Cold and Cheetah

Oh, and Brainiac is still there…sort of…

jimmy:  I like how Captain Cold can shoot his freeze gun and freeze the entire world.

tomk:  It’s all in the wrist.  At least this time you didn’t ask why Aquaman can fly.

jimmy:  No, but surprised he seemed to have 2nd billing.

tomk:  Kids love the guy who talks to fish.

jimmy:  Like whales and squids?

tomk:  Sharks, octopuses, goldfish, moray eels, barracudas, those things that bite your toes off if you wear the wrong sunscreen, the whole she-bangabang.

jimmy:  I don’t know what those last things are and now I’m petrified.

tomk:  They only live around oceanfront nuclear power plants.

jimmy:  Do they have three eyes?

tomk:  At least.

And they take orders from Aquaman.

jimmy:  Scary.

tomk:  But none of that happens here.  He couldn’t, say, command robotic piranhas.

jimmy:  What about robotic eagles?

tomk:  Do you remember when Aquaman commanded sea gulls in that episode of STAS?

jimmy:  No.

He can control anything that even has “sea” in it’s name like seals and seadoos.

tomk:  Well, doesn’t matter.  He can’t command birds normally , especially Lisa, but especially robo-eagles.

jimmy:  You’d think Blackhawk could turn them off or something.

tomk:  Blackhawk is dead.  That was one member of team.  A guy with the intimidating name of…Chuck.

jimmy:  I guess I should have said “the Blackhawk”.  Either way, I guess Chuck wasn’t privileged to the security codes.

tomk:  Eh, he was so old he might have forgotten them.  Do you remember all your passwords from your 20s?

jimmy:  I’m lucky if I remember my current passwords.

tomk:  Well, there you go.

Meanwhile, Luthor gets in with the human magnet and a guy who can get through any door.

jimmy:  That’s an odd super power.

tomk:  The Key is a very old Justice League foe.

He mostly just can’t be contained in any way.

jimmy:  What about concrete shoes?

tomk:  Probably. Then again, I don’t think we see him again after this one. Funny story:  the original twist ending for this final season’s story arc was to reveal the Key was Brainiac all along. They even had Corey Burton voice both characters.

jimmy:  They’d already done that with Luthor.

tomk:  Yes, but this would have been something like Luthor is looking for Brainiac and not realizing Brainiac was standing next to him the entire time.

jimmy:  Oh that wacky Brainiac!

tomk:  But that never happens.

jimmy:  Good.

tomk:  Instead…you’ll get something else. But that’s for later. Grodd wants the one weapon that can hurt the Spectre for wall decor.

jimmy:  Poor selling comics?

tomk:  The Spear of Longinus. According to legend, it was the weapon that pierced Jesus’s side as he was being crucified.

jimmy:  Now what would Grodd need with that?

tomk:  According to him…it goes nice with the other stuff in his office.

The Spectre does not appear on this show.

jimmy:  I bet they were angling for a “Spectre And The Simian” spinoff.

tomk:  I wish…

jimmy:  You do love your simians.

tomk:  And you love…um…ghosts?

jimmy:  Only the friendly ones.

tomk:

jimmy:  The ghost of Richie Rich.

tomk:  Regardless, in DC lore, Hitler used the Spear to cast a magic spell that kept superheroes out of Axis territories, and that’s why the JSA didn’t end World War II in a week.

jimmy:  Really?  Interesting. I never knew that.

tomk:  Yes, but it doesn’t really come up here.  Since, for years, the JSA were set in a very specific era, they set up a reason for the Flash, Green Lantern, Dr. Fate, and the others from basically stopping the war early.

jimmy:  And we all know it was Captain America who punched out Hitler.

tomk:  I have reason to believe that was all from a USO show.

jimmy:  Cap wouldn’t lie to us.

tomk:  Well, to me.  To a Canadian?  I’m not so sure.

jimmy:  Son of a bitch.

tomk:  Look, I could be wrong.  Cap seems like he has problems lying.

jimmy:  Well, he was lying for 70 years.

tomk:  Proud of yourself for that one?

jimmy:  Yes. :slightly_smiling_face:

tomk:  Well, it’s at least worth a scoop of ice cream.  But not your favorite flavor.

jimmy:  I’ll take it.

And who ever would have thought Aztek would make an appearance?

tomk:  Um…Aztek creator Grant Morrison?

jimmy:  I think even they’d be surprised.

tomk:  Good pronoun usage.

jimmy:  I try.

tomk:  You probably even know better than to threaten Dr. Polaris with a metal mace.

jimmy:  Better than some obviously.

tomk:  The guy has a picture of a magnet on his chest.

jimmy:  Maybe she thought Nth metal was not magnetic.

tomk:  Or she thought he looked like an idiot.

jimmy:  Haha, well, there is that.

tomk:  They still beat him.

jimmy:  HE HAD A PICTURE OF A MAGNET ON HIS CHEST!

tomk:  Is it just sinking in how silly that is?

jimmy: No, but it points to the fact that they beat them.

tomk:  Well, the Flash has a lightning bolt on his chest and he doesn’t toss around electricity.

jimmy:  Symbolism.

tomk:  Then again, Flash and Polaris did seem to have  the same voice actor.   Plus Fire sounded like Hawkgirl with a thick accent…

jimmy:  Season 3 budget restraints.

tomk:  I think there’s a reason Fire doesn’t get to talk much from here.  I think she has one line in a future episode.

jimmy:  She got burned out.

tomk:  Proud of that one?

jimmy:  I have my moments.

tomk:  Well, next time, you can do something about the robo-piranha, robo-vultures, war wheels, and, let’s say, robo-Moe.

jimmy:  Heh. They made sure to get the war wheel in there.

tomk:  Someone built those things to last.

jimmy:  I don’t know much about Blackhawk, but fittingly, this is the only Blackhawk comic I’ve ever read:

tomk:  Nothing can stop the War Wheel?  Doesn’t Spider-Man stop a smaller one on a routine basis whenever Big Wheel comes to town?

jimmy:  He does have powers.

tomk:  Political powers?

jimmy:  Not so far.

tomk:  Well, that’s good to know.  Mayor Spider-Man is not a story that J Jonah Jameson is ready for yet.

jimmy:  Especially since he was Mayor.

tomk:  Well, Kingpin was the mayor last I checked.

jimmy:  I think he was after JJJ.

tomk:  Man, anyone can be the Mayor of Marvel NYC.  I mean, you might be the mayor right now.

jimmy:  I hope not.

tomk:  You may have been slacking off.

jimmy:  Probably.

tomk:  Well, you’ll just be exiled to Blackhawk Island.  Fortunately, it’s more of a peninsula.

jimmy:  It’s attached?

tomk:  Sure.  To Monster Island.  Or, since this is DC, Dinosaur Island.

jimmy:  Makes sense.

tomk:  Then again, there is a lot of cool stuff on Blackhawk Island…so long as the security system doesn’t get you first.

jimmy:  So where did Grodd get his one piece of Brainiac, and how does he know it’s the only surviving piece?

tomk:  I dunno.  He used a black light at a cheap hotel Brainiac stayed at once?

jimmy:  Eewww.

tomk:  I would just assume Grodd gets things because he’s a supervillain with the resources to build a swamp hideout despite the fact apes probably can’t hold down a bank account.

jimmy:  That’s an excellent point. And one I feel like Watson would chastise us for even talking about, whilst singing his admiration for apes on horseback with machine guns.

tomk:  Apes can apparently get an NRA membership.

As far as Brainiac pieces go, I would chalk it up to “we shouldn’t think about it too much”.

jimmy:  You haven’t used that one in a while.  :slightly_smiling_face:

tomk:  I haven’t needed to.  I am not Watson, but I can make a joke about apes getting capital investment to build a swamp hideout.

jimmy:  It makes as much sense as “why doesn’t Batman just call Superman to take out the Joker in like 5 seconds including travel time?”

tomk:  Dude, the Joker can get a lot done in five seconds.

jimmy:  Here we go again.

tomk:  Well, look, there are other heroes. This is still JLU and we’re still going to see new faces.

jimmy:  Which they didn’t seem to do much of outside of the first few episodes.

tomk:  What?  You didn’t get enough of Aztek?

jimmy:  I just mean that they haven’t introduced many new characters after the initial episodes.

tomk:  Well, we might see one in the next episode.

jimmy:  Will I be happy about it?

tomk:  I don’t know. Do you want to see the real Hawkman?

jimmy:  Will he betray the League and break Green Lantern’s heart?

tomk:  Not really.

jimmy:  Then he’s already a step ahead of Hawkgirl.

tomk:  Well, maybe. Would you like to see how much he may be ahead or behind?

jimmy:  I would.

tomk:  Than put on your wings and take off your shirt. It’s Hawkman Time.

“Shadow of the Hawk”

Archeologist Carter Hall really wants Hawkgirl’s help with his latest discovery.

jimmy:  Those Justice League writers sure love their hawk people.

tomk:  You don’t?

jimmy:  I like them fine. But the DCAU sure does like to spend a lot of time on, in the comics, at best a B and more likely a C level character.

tomk:  Hawkman is a JLA mainstay from the Silver Age, and a JSA hero before that.  He’s definitely a B-level hero.  Is anything, Hawkgirl may be the C-level hero.

jimmy:  That’s who I was talking about.

tomk:  I see.

Point is, the series went this long without the “real” Hawkman…and he’s kind of a stalker.

jimmy:  Well, with Hawkgirl a priority, they never really needed him. Like there’s no sign of Hal or Barry.

tomk:  We saw Hal.  And the Flash was almost Barry.

jimmy:  Hal wasn’t in the mainstream DCAU. And almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.  Or something like that.

tomk:  You’ve been playing with hand grenades on the Gabbing Geek horseshoe pitch again, haven’t you?

jimmy:  There’s no horseshoe pit anymore.

tomk:  Jenny nearly lost a toe the first time.

jimmy:  At least her shadow didn’t try to kill her.

tomk:  The Shadow Thief…Hawkman’s greatest foe.

jimmy:  Hawkman needs a better rogues gallery.

tomk:  Like I.Q., the mad scientist who gets smarter the more he gets exposed to sunlight?

jimmy:  I hope you made that up.

tomk:  Nope.

jimmy:  Well.  That’s odd.

tomk:  The Silver Age, ladies and gentlemen!

jimmy:  So I know Hawkman has a confusing history that got even worse when they tried to fix it with Crisis and the like, but I don’t really know the details.  What incarnation does this one most closely resemble?  (Probably minus the stalker bit.)

tomk:  The one Geoff Johns largely fixed.

jimmy:  Which was probably the current one when this aired?

tomk:  You got it.  Have a cookie shaped like a bird of prey.

jimmy:

tomk:  Wrong bird of prey.

However, no matter how much James “Dexter’s Dad” Remar tried, this Carter Hall sure sounded like a lovesick fool pining over a celebrity he’d never met.  Thank God Batman was there.

jimmy:  Question.  When he was just strutting around like a normal guy…where were his wings?  For that matter…how did he get wings?  Were they part of his suit?  Where did he get the knowhow to build them?

tomk:  The Absorbocrom told him how to build the wings. For the rest, uh, the suit is baggier than it looks?

jimmy:  Why would the tech of a civilization that had wings know how to build fully functional fake wings?  Prosthetics?

tomk:  Jimmy, aside from one really weird and brief period, Hawkman’s wings have always been artificial. I don’t have answers for that.

jimmy:  I obviously don’t know much about Hawkman. So he’s not Thangarian?  (Obviously he’s not here.)

tomk:  OK, strap yourself in.  This is gonna be a Hawkman crash course.

In the 1940s, the first Hawkman was Carter Hall, an archaeologist who discovered he was a reincarnated Egyptian pharaoh.  He donned a costume left in a tomb  with wings that allowed him to fly. and used the weapons of the past to fight the crime of the future with his wife Shiera and used weapons from a museum he ran to fight crime.

In the Silver Age, the new Hawkman was Katar Hol who came to Earth from the planet Thanagar.  He and his wife Shayera were policemen there pursuing a criminal to Earth.  They had wings made of Nth metal and a lot of space age gadgets, but they decided afterwards to stay on Earth and study human police methods and curated a museum posing as humans…Carter and Shiera Hall.

Now, setting aside how Katar would be on Earth-1 and Carter on Earth-2, there’s a really simple explanation for why Hawkman’s story is so messed up.

After the Crisis, there was a miniseries by Tim Truman called Hawkworld.  Good stuff.  Watson swears by it and I liked it just as much when I read it off DC Universe.  Hawkworld was supposed to be a new origin story for the Silver Age Hawkman that ends when he and Shayera (here just his partner) go to Earth to pursue the same shapeshifting criminal from the original Silver Age Hawkman series, implying that all of Hawkman’s Silver Age adventures on forward happened after that.

But then someone screwed up and started a new Hawkman series as if he’d just arrived and DC has been trying to explain who the Hawkman on the Justice League has been ever since.  Since the Earths were combined after the Crisis, they eventually just said it was Carter Hall from the JSA that was the conservative guy who used to butt heads over politics with Green Arrow all the time.

Katar was eventually killed off after his story got really screwy involving Hawk Avatars and the like, and since reincarnation was his thing, Carter Hall came back to life (he was absorbed into Katar with his Shiera during Zero Hour) as Hawkman during Geoff Johns’s JSA run.  That seems to be where they are going from here.  Johns, I believe, introduced the idea that a Thanagarian ship crashed in ancient Egypt and that was who Carter was reincarnated as.

That said, the most recent Hawkman series actually did something neat by showing who the first incarnation was, and it was a really ancient fellow who predated Carter’s pharaoh, and that the reincarnation worked across time and space, so Carter lived a life on just about every world.  He was Katar at one point, and he even lived on Krypton just before it exploded.

For what it is worth, Katar, the Silver Age Hawkman, was created by writer Gardner Fox and artist Joe Kubert, and Batman says Carter’s real name here was Joe Gardner.  Likewise, the Absorbocrom was a Silver Age device Thanagarians used that  they could use to literally give them all knowledge of any planet they visited.  That is obviously too powerful an artifact, but Mark Waid showed Thanagarians using it during a planetary invasion during a Brave and the Bold run where they knew every move their enemies would make before they made it because they always knew the other side’s military plans.

jimmy:

tomk:  A Far Side reference?

jimmy:  Love The Far Side.

tomk:  That guy does have a small head.

jimmy:  You should post all of that for Watson to read and see if his head explodes.

tomk:  Watson probably knows most of that stuff. Jenny, on the other hand…

jimmy:  Less potential head exploding.

tomk:  Still, this Hawkman just looks kinda pathetic.

jimmy:  That’s called love.

tomk:  Or stalking.

jimmy:  The judge tells me those are not the same thing.

tomk:  Really?  Judges?

Uh-oh.

Hawkman might be a dead duck.

jimmy:  He’s certainly not getting a date with Hawkgirl, reincarnated lover or not.

tomk:  That was also something of a theme during Geoff Johns’s JSA run:  Hawkgirl didn’t remember her previous incarnations, and Carter shows up proclaiming how much they love each other.

jimmy:  That’s the way to win a girl over.

tomk:  Jimmy, I get the impression you and I know more about getting a date than Carter Hall.

jimmy:  Since he didn’t get one, we’re at least one step ahead.

tomk:  Well, she went to dinner with him and suggested something about the night before…you know, before he pulled out his homemade wing suit.

jimmy:  True.  Everyone knows that a wing suit is for the third date.

tomk:  Oh, sometimes the second if the chemistry is right, but Carter clearly can’t read the signals.

jimmy:  Maybe the shadows were in his eyes?

tomk:  Stupid Shadow Thief…and Stupid Sexy Flanders.

jimmy:

tomk:  Yup.  Good ol’ Shayera Flanders.

jimmy:  She does wear a sexy jumpsuit. And to John’s chagrin, a sexy dress.

tomk:  And carries a sexy mace….wait, that doesn’t sound sexy.

She probably needs to carry a different kind of mace if Carter comes back.

jimmy:  Lol

tomk:

jimmy:  I have a feeling it’s more “when” than “if”.

tomk:  You mean with only 13 episodes left, we might get more from Stalky McStalkerface?

jimmy:  That thought did give me pause but quite possible.

tomk:  That said, it sure was nice to see Batman stalking the stalker.

jimmy:  It was great how Batman strolled through all the booby traps like a Sunday afternoon in the park.

tomk:  Well, there was that episode of his own show where he and Talia wore jodhpurs and looked for Ra’s while he was looking for a mummy.

jimmy:  Better than the episode where he kissed Talia who was really Ra’s.

tomk:  Yeah, that episode was…weird, starting with the opening scene.

jimmy:  Let’s not revisit that. Just talk about Batman: Archeological Hunter.

tomk:  He watched a lot of Indiana Jones to get through that pyramid. He just couldn’t fight his own shadow.

jimmy:  Have you ever tried?  It’s tough.

tomk:  I carry a flashlight for that.

jimmy:  Brilliant!

tomk:  Yeah, shadows have very obvious weaknesses.

jimmy:  Maybe you should be Hawkman.

tomk:  I actually like Hawknan as a character…except when they do the reincarnated lover bit.

jimmy:  So, not here then.

tomk:  Not really, no.  I was wondering if this Hawkman could even handle himself in a fight.

jimmy:  Good question. As far as we know he’s done no super hero-ing prior to this episode.

tomk:  He mostly kinda sucks.

jimmy:  Well, he’s no Clock King. Or Sewer King. Or the Isotopes.

tomk:  Ironically, he believes he was a king once.

Maybe he was…the King of Sucking!

jimmy:  Burn!

tomk:  And that’s saying something since Sewer King was the suckiest suck who ever sucked.

jimmy:  Even Sewer King answers to someone.

tomk:  Well, I guess the bird guy would have power over the alligator guy who wasn’t Killer Croc.

jimmy:  I can’t say I’ve ever been much of a fan of Hawkman, but for no particular reason. Just haven’t read much of his stuff.

tomk:  I would actually recommend his most recent series.

jimmy:  Written by?

tomk:  Robert Venditti with initial artwork by Bryan Hitch.

jimmy:  I’ll put it on The List.

tomk:  When was the last time you read something from that List?

jimmy:  2018?

tomk:  Huh.

Good to know you were catching up during quarantine.

jimmy:  I was busy doing my Spider-Man Chronology...my Epic Spider-Man Rewatch…damn…what have I been doing for the past 12 months?

tomk:  Tiger King?

jimmy:  I did do that.

tomk:  Well, that explains a few hours.

jimmy:  I watched it a few times.

tomk:  A few more hours.

That said, the bad guy group the League is fighting in the beginning are the Extremists, a group of baddies from a parallel Earth that is basically the Marvel Universe. Present was Lord Havoc (Dr. Doom), Gorgon (Dr Octopus), Tracer (Sabertooth), and Dreamslayer (Mephisto/Dormammu). Dr. Diehard (Magneto) must have been on a coffee break.

jimmy:  Or stuck to the fridge.

tomk:  People keep telling him he’s a Christmas movie.

jimmy:  He didn’t go to Best Christmas Movie Ever School to not be called Doctor.

tomk:  Well, that was those guys and Hawkman. Anything else to add?

jimmy:  Hmmm…I guess not?

tomk:  Would you like to see a story involving swords and sorcery?

jimmy:  Are there any sand snakes?

tomk:  Might be some snake people, but I don’t think there’s much sand.

jimmy:  Good.  It gets…everywhere.

tomk:  Shall we then?

jimmy:  We shall.

tomk:  Abra kadabra!

“Crisis at the Earth’s Core”

A group of Leaguers find themselves battling alongside Travis Morgan the Warlord of the mystical land of Skartaris!

jimmy:  So I’ve never read any Warlord comics, I assume this is a close approximation?

tomk:  Oh yeah. DC used to do these cheap reprints of old comics in black and white. Get something like 20-25 issues for 15-20 bucks, and they didn’t limit those volumes to just the well-known characters. The Warlord got one, and it was actually a fantastic read from writer/artist Mike Grell.

jimmy:  Was there as giant piece of kryptonite?

tomk:  Um, no. Grell’s original work barely connected to the DC Universe.

jimmy:  That’s what I assumed.

tomk:  However, Travis Morgan, an Air Force pilot sucked into the magical world of Skartaris through a portal in the North Pole, does appear from time to time in various DC books. He got a one panel appearance in the Crisis for example. And it is not uncommon for superheroes he meets to comment on how much he looks like Oliver Queen.

Considering Grell’s other big DC run was a more mature minded post-Crisis Green Arrow run, that makes sense.

jimmy:  That I have read a bit of.

tomk:  Longbow Hunters?

jimmy:  I’ve read that.  And some of the subsequent series.

tomk:  Same. Longbow in some respects hasn’t aged well.

jimmy:  Yeah.  I mean, who uses a longbow anymore?  C’mon.

tomk:  I meant more about how Black Canary’s trauma was used only as something that affected Oliver.

Like she just got over it.

It’s a “women in refrigerators” thing.

jimmy:  Those never stay fresh.  Ironically.

tomk:  But the Warlord series was some great high fantasy stuff.

jimmy:  I’ve never been big into fantasy.

tomk:  A wizard stole your lunch money, didn’t he?

jimmy:  More made it disappear than stole.

tomk:  Disappear into his own wallet?

jimmy:  I better call the wallet inspector.

tomk:  Make sure it’s the right guy.

Lotta phony wallet inspectors running around.

jimmy:  I know.

And I don’t dislike fantasy, I just don’t often seek it out as a form of entertainment.

tomk:  That’s good. I wouldn’t want to find out it wasn’t really you during the Westeros Watch.

jimmy:  It was mostly me.  Sometimes a bot.

tomk:  I suspected as much when it just kept calling Watson a hoser over and over.

jimmy:  That was me.

tomk:  Oh.

Good bot then.

jimmy:  Back to the episode at hand, Supergirl got a new hat!  I mean, suit.

tomk:  This series does a lot to show Supergirl’s growth. When she first joined the League, she was butting heads with Green Lantern and Captain Atom. Now Stargirl is talking crap about her.

jimmy:  You have to grow up after tangling with your own clone.  Trust me, I know.

tomk:  Are you sure you’re the original?

jimmy:  …

Let’s get back to Supergirl.

tomk:  She can fly a jet now and punch out Gamera.

jimmy:  Learning to fly a jet is apparently the first badge you need to get when joining the Justice League.

tomk:  Should I ask if you know who Gamera is?

jimmy:  Nebula’s sister?

tomk:  Um, no.

jimmy:  Oh.  Then I don’t know.

tomk:  Gamera is a monster from a series of Japanese films that for some reason appears in the beginning of the episode.

jimmy:  Ah, the turtle

tomk:  Yes. Here’s a clip I will apologize in advance for.

jimmy:  Well now.

tomk:  Yeah. I’ve seen a lot of videos about Gamera…mostly to make fun of how bad those movies are.

jimmy:  He sure did a number on Tokyo…with Supergirl’s help.

tomk:  Stargirl, not so much.

jimmy:  Or Stripe.

tomk:  Luke Wilson plays STRIPE on the live action show.

jimmy:  The Stargirl show?

tomk:  The very same. Have a low fat alternative to your favorite snack.

jimmy:  I need it after all those cookies.

tomk:  You won’t be showing off your midriff like Supergirl or Stargirl or any other “girls”?

jimmy:  Haha, that was almost the exact comment I made.

tomk:  I’m psychic…like whoever made Metallo braindead.

jimmy:  You’d be singing a different tune if he got his hands on that giant piece of kryptonite.

tomk:  Why?  I’m not Kryptonian.

jimmy:  Are you sure?  Maybe you’re just immune to kryptonite.

tomk:  Same thing?

jimmy:  Unless you’re lying about being immune.

tomk:  You said immunity first.

jimmy:  That’s right, Tom. Supergirl was lying.

tomk:  I am utterly confused by this line of reasoning.

jimmy:  It’s basic geology.

tomk:  OK, let’s back up here…you said I would be sorry if Metallo got the krytonite.  I said I wasn’t Kryptonian.  You suggested I was immune.  I said it was maybe the same thing.  You said I was maybe lying about immunity.  I pointed out you said immunity first.  You then said I accused Suprgirl of lying.  Then I said I was confused, and you said it was just the study of rocks and minerals.

jimmy:  Correct.

tomk:  Well, OK then.  You maybe wanted to spend time with the panther woman anyway.

jimmy:  You wouldn’t?

tomk:  She seemed dangerous.

jimmy:  That’s part of the fun.

tomk:  You have a different definition of “fun” than I do.

jimmy:  At least my idea of fun is not Krull.

tomk:  True. Have Cousin Minka’s phone number.

jimmy:  Nice. Speaking of cousins, is it common knowledge that Kara is Superman’s cousin?

tomk: Yup. Minka Newman awaits your call.

As for common knowledge…looks that way.

jimmy:  Yeah, it just stood out to me when Metallo referenced her cousin.

tomk:  She seems pretty open to telling Stargirl that she was in Kansas for years.

jimmy:  But talking with your peer/teammate is different from a villain knowing.

tomk:  Well, true. Besides it says something that Kansas produces Supermen and girls. You don’t wanna know what kind of heroes my home state of New Jersey produces.

jimmy:  Yeah…not quite super.

And maybe Metallo learned about her parentage at the convention.

tomk:  Maybe.

jimmy:  It was interesting that the banners for the convention all had her old suit, so it must really be a recent change.

tomk:  She’s growing up.

jimmy:  No boob window yet though.

tomk:  You have a thing for boob windows.

jimmy:  My point was more that’s how Kara Clone showed she was grown up.

tomk:  Oh.  Of course.  And it wasn’t just that you like boobs.

jimmy:  Well, I do, but have always thought Power Girl’s suit was ridiculous. But so are most female superheroes who are usually going around in skin tight suits with way too much skin showing and high heel boots…yet supposed to be fighting at elite levels.

tomk:  According to legend, there was an artist on the old Infinity Inc series where Power Girl first appeared who decided to just keep drawing her boobs bigger and bigger and see if anyone would notice and stop him.  Apparently, no one did.

jimmy:  That doesn’t surprise me.

tomk:  Yes, well, there are lots of surprises in the world.  New Jersey gets giant robots with cars for heads as our state heroes, and Canada meanwhile has antiheroes with huge body counts.  That doesn’t make much sense.

Also, there’s a mystical dimension at the center of the Earth where magic is real.

jimmy:  I was wondering if this was a Ralph Bakshi production when it started.

tomk:  The Hollow Earth theory has been floating around for centuries.

At least one American president, John Quincy Adams, may have tried financing a mission to find it.

jimmy:  That’s a worse theory than the world being flat.

tomk:  What can I say, Jimmy?  People were stupid back then.  Now, can I interest you in these pamphlets on the inside job around 9/11?

jimmy:  I knew it!

tomk:  You knew I had pamphlets debunking that conspiracy theory?

jimmy:  …yes!

tomk:  Good.  Here’s a smoothie.

jimmy:  Delicious.

I do find the lost city beneath the surface of the Earth stories a bit silly though.

tomk:  You prefer guilt-ridden teens do stuff after radioactive spider bites and mopey billionaires being good at everything?

jimmy:  Who doesn’t?

tomk:  Just checking to see what your suspension of disbelief happens to be.

jimmy:  Stop being sensible, Tom!

tomk:  Look, honestly, I am not a huge fan of loin-cloth covered barbarian stories.  But I will say, when I read Grell’s Warlord series…it was actually quite good, so despite the ridiculous appearance of, well, everybody, it is a beloved series for a reason.

jimmy:  I’m the same.  Maybe you have a soft spot here where you read and enjoyed the series.  That said, it wasn’t bad.

tomk:  It was a character that probably wouldn’t appear in a cartoon or even live action series otherwise.

jimmy:  He’s not iconic.

tomk:  Not even his friend, the king who controls a rare metal everybody wants…

jimmy:  Is kryptonite metal?

tomk:  Well…no.

jimmy:  Then what chew talkin’ ’bout, Tom?

tomk:  Vibranium isn’t kryptonite?

jimmy:  I don’t think so.

tomk:  OK, well, that covers that.

jimmy:  So what was the “Black Death” and how could Kryptonite heal that King guy?

tomk:  Um…space radiation kills magical diseases?

jimmy:  Apparently so.

tomk:  Me smart. Read book once.

jimmy:  You English good.

tomk:  More say on Demos and bad guys not get big rock?

jimmy:  Get rock bad.  Fall big cliff good.  Well, not for Demos.

tomk:  Demos probably landed on the Ocean Master from that first Aquaman two parter.

jimmy:  Since he probably never returns, it doesn’t matter.

tomk:  No, he does not.

jimmy:  With so few episodes left, most appearances will be the last we see of different characters.

tomk:  And the first!

jimmy:  That’s true, too!

tomk:  In fact, there may be another first in the next one.

jimmy:  Crom?

tomk:  Er, no.

jimmy:  Anything left to say on this one, or should we find out who?

tomk:  Well, I have nothing else to add unless you do.

jimmy:  No.  I’m ready.

tomk:  Then it’s time to check the on the global warming crisis.

NEXT TIME:  Tom and Jimmy will return soon to talk the episodes “To Another Shore,” “Flash and Substance,” and “Dead Reckoning”.

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