November 27, 2022

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Torchwood “Countrycide”

The Torchwood team investigates a series of disappearances in the Welsh countryside.

Huh.  The actor who played Ser Alliser Thorne on Game of Thrones does a guest shot here.  This could be what happens when the NIght’s Watch goes bad.  Then again, Burn Gorman also played a Man of the Watch who went bad, so we have a common theme here.

OK, so, after a cold open when a lone motorist is distracted by a decoy corpse in the road before being dragged away by…something, we have the Torchwood team looking into it.  17 or so people disappeared out there of every race, creed, gender, and age.  Might be an alien.  Not a Weevil.  Those things never leave behind what the team finds in the woods of a very flesh-free corpse covered in maggots.

Oh, when I say that team, that includes Ianto.  And yes, he’s still serving food out there.  But then again, when they play a game of “who did you snog last,” his answer is “Lisa,” and that puts everyone in a sad mood.

For the record, Gwen gets quiet, Owen says Gwen, and Toshiko says Owen.  Captain Jack isn’t playing.

Then someone steals their car and runs over their campground, taking the vehicle into a nearby village.  That’s when things get weird.  Ianto and Toshiko are separated from the others, and what few people they find seem terrified.

Also, Ianto and Toshiko find out why the bodies have been disappearing:  someone’s been eating them.

Oh, and the kicker?  There are no aliens here.  This has been done by the villagers for some reason.  They seem really nasty about it, with Ser Alliser seemingly in charge.  Ianto takes a beating so Toshiko can get away, but she’s recaptured by Ser Alliser, who in turn is found by Gwen and Owen who are in turn captured by the cop they brought along, stupidly thinking the cop was going to be helpful.  I’ve seen enough TV to know otherwise.

Well, that just leaves Captain Jack.  He captured one local, understands how to use torture for answers, and when it looks like the others are doomed, drives a tractor through a wall, guns a’blazing, and manages to shoot all the cannibals.  And he shoots to wound.  All those cannibal assholes were taken alive.  And Gwen, she wants some answers, learning only these people have been doing it a very long time, and Ser Alliser says he thought it was fun.

Crap.

No wonder Gwen starts having sex with Owen back in Cardiff.  He gets what they’ve been going to, knowing her boyfriend never will.

Still not a cool thing to do to her boyfriend…

%d bloggers like this: