July 4, 2022

Gabbing Geek

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The Umbrella Academy “Öga For Öga”

Season Two, Episode Seven

There’s a moment in this episode where Diego and Luther, seeing the “Oga for Oga” message written in blood on the floor around their dead friend, assume the murder was done by someone named Olga Foroga.  They even find someone by that name in the phone book, and just as Diego starts to really threaten this person, Five shows up and translates the message from Swedish.  Diego quickly apologizes and hangs up.

I love silly stuff sometimes.

OK, but what about the deal Five made with the Handler?  Simple:  kill the Commission’s board and get a ride back to 2019 in a new apocalypse-free timeline.  Five, who easily murders all the humans with a fire axe aside from the very nice woman who ran the hotel who did not take kindly to Five’s trashing of a vending machine to get to the secret meeting, isn’t happy about it, but he wants to get himself and his family home.  And Five captured the goldfish that ran the Commission alive.  He says he’s done with killing.  He just wants to get his family back to their own time.  Luther and Diego are in the same spot, and he sends Luther to Allison, Diego to Klaus, and he’ll go see Vanya himself.  All six of them need to be at the exact same spot at the exact right time.

How can these people possibly get it wrong?  They have 90 minutes to do what needs to be done.

Allison may be the most interested in going.  She’d like to see her daughter in 2019 again.  Heck, she might even convince Ray to come along.  Luther is gone by then, but Five would say no to that because Five tells Vanya she can’t bring her lover and that woman’s young son even if Sissy’s husband is an abusive lout.

See above for Vanya.

Klaus never agrees, mostly because he didn’t have a chance.  He and Ben had negotiated a way for Ben to have custody of the body long enough to maybe get somewhere with a young woman in Klaus’s cult.  That took time, and Ben even confessed to being a virgin which stuck the girl as odd because she and another woman knocked boots with Klaus only a day or so before.  Ben agrees to go if Diego will give him ten minutes.

Alright, so, we have everybody informed.  This is the Umbrella Academy the group on The Umbrella Academy the TV show.  They will screw it up.  So, how?

Vanya agrees to go but then goes to get Sissy and Harlan anyway.  Sissy, despite Vanya’s explanation not to, left a note, and her homophobic husband Carl sent his brother, a local cop, to stop them.  Vanya uses her powers a bit, but gets knocked out.

By the by, earlier in the episode Vanya and Five squared off to use their respective powers at one point, and it sure did look like a potential draw, but I would think Vanya was way stronger than Five as it is.

Diego was giving his dead friend a burial when Lila showed up to drug him and take him back to her mother because Lila can put together her own security team now that the Handler has taken over the Commission.

And Allison and Ray are attacked by the Silent Swedes, only getting away when Allison uses her powers to make one Swede kill the other.

Point is, that means Luther, Five, and Klaus/Ben are the only ones to arrive at the alley, with Klaus and Ben fighting for control of the body the entire time.  Five has to chuck his time machine away.  Once again, things just did not work out.

So typical.  Maybe they should have looked for more information from the phone book.  At least they could have apologized to Olga Foroga.

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