Titans “Atonement”

You know how many problems on this show might be solved if people just made the phone calls they’re told to?

Or, you know, at least called Bruce?

I am so confused right now.

Are we going somewhere with this?  I honestly don’t know.  The episode opens with Dick confessing to the others about how Jericho really died and…

Wait, none of the others knew?

See?  Confused.

Anyway, it looks like everyone is gonna split.  Hank punches Dick one and then he and Dawn leave.  Rachel, you know, the one who always believed in Dick, asks to go with Donna.  But then she changes her mind like five seconds later, points out Donna and the others were also complicit in the death of Jericho, and then she runs off on her own.  Kory should stay, since she’s new and all, and she would, but then she gets a call from that old boyfriend and leaves to take care of that, promising to come back.

Dude, no one on this show comes back right away when they promise to come back.

Jason and Rose also leave together because why not?

Didn’t Bruce more or less force Dick to take Jason in?

So, so confused.

OK, we’re down to Dick and Gar.  Conner (with Krypto guarding) is in a coma, so Dick asks Gar to watch Conner, then call Bruce when and if Conner wakes up.  Bruce can get in touch with Superman for Conner.

Why can’t Dick do this?  Because he’s going out, but he says he’ll be right back.

THEY NEVER COME RIGHT BACK.

So, here we are.  Instructions to call Bruce.  Bruce can take care of things.

Instead, we get a long montage of Gar watching the unconscious Conner while trying not to be too bored alone in the Tower.  He’s confident the team will reunite soon, so he’ll keep the Tower going until that day.

They never come back, Gar.  Never.  Not right away.

And then when Conner does wake up, does Gar call Bruce?  Of course not!  Instead, he tries to give Conner some training, watches the clone beat a video game at superspeed, and when the pair head out, watches in horror as Conner attacks some cops when they try to arrest a guy.  Conner has heat vision.  Gar…bravely runs away.

As for Kory, well, her sister Blackfire took over the empire back home, and then she took over the ex-boyfriend.  There was a moment when I thought, seeing some kind of space sludge hit the ex in the back of the head that Starfire’s people were really some kind of space worms who take over human bodies, but no.  It would appear that is not the case.  Kory ends up incinerating Faddei (at his request) and she exchanges some words with her evil sister.

Evil sisters are the worst sisters.

Oh, and Hank and Dawn broke up because the kid who died under their care had a sister who won’t go away or something.  It seems like a bad idea.

But this is a whole show full of bad ideas!  Dick goes to Jericho’s mother for forgiveness.  She won’t give it, but Slade is in the next room the entire time, and he declares victory for breaking the team up.

Dude, you didn’t do anything.  And I thought you wanted them dead a couple episodes ago?

Plus, he’s acting weird.

Anyway, rather than do like he said and go back to the Tower, Dick goes to an airport, and rather than fly to Greenland like he initially planned, pops some cops and surrenders to some more.

This show has excellent police response time, I must say.

You know, I know Slade said he wouldn’t come back so long as the Titans don’t reunite, but c’mon, man.  At least CALL BRUCE!

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