March 1, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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The Umbrella Academy “Number Five”

Season One, Episode Five.

So…the fifth episode is all about Number Five?

Well, that’s appropriate enough, I suppose.

Yes, let’s fill in some of the blanks around the most mysterious of the Hargreeves kids, Number Five.

We know he somehow teleported himself into a post-Apocalyptic future, his best friend and love interest there is a manikin, and he’s really good at killing people.  He has suggested he’s much older than he looks.  And time traveling assassins seem to be out to get him.  Why is that?

Well, he’s going to bring one other member of the family in on this, namely Luther, and Luther being the square-jawed hero type won’t like everything he’s about to learn, but here we are.

Number Five was alone for decades, growing older when a woman known as The Handler came to get him to work as an assassin for the Commission, a group that makes sure time runs the way it is supposed to.  That means he can’t try to stop the apocalypse.  But he can become the best killer they’ve got, growing into an older man who it seems is responsible for the Hindenberg, the start of World War I, and even the death of Stalin, but not the fun version.  While he was waiting for get JFK, he got a flash into the future for the 60s to his father’s funeral and decided he was going to try and stop the apocalypse anyway.  That took a lot of concentration and had the added effect of reversing his physical age down to what he looked like when he left.

So, Luther is (mostly) on board with stopping the apocalypse.  He’s not OK with killing random innocents that could stop it, but otherwise he’s OK with stopping it.  Are any of the other siblings?

Well, Diego walks in, but he doesn’t stay long enough to listen to either of his brothers and walks right back out again.  He wants Hazel and Cha-Cha dead for killing his friend.  And if you thought straightarrow Luther partnering with Diego, man, you’ve got to see how it goes when Diego’s new partner is Klaus.

Klaus is…not right in the head.

OK, he wasn’t much right in the head before, but he got worse.  Why?  He time traveled.  Where did he go?  The Vietnam War.

Yes, he’s a veteran now, even if none of the guys in the veteran’s bar believe it.  They should check the photos on the wall.

Oh, and Klaus destroyed the time machine when he returned to the present.

See, Hazel and Cha-Cha need that to their jobs.  And since they’re stuck, they decide to look into who this weird family was,. Cha-Cha comes back loaded with information.  Hazel comes back with a relationship with the donut lady.  And man, now that they know how dangerous the Hargreeves are, things can get worse as the pair soon realize Diego is staking out their motel.

As it is, Five and Luther set a decoy briefcase in an effort to get Hazel and Cha-Cha out.  Somehow that means a meeting with the Handler for Five.  That mostly works.  Too bad Diego and Klaus almost derail the whole thing with their stolen ice cream truck until the Handler freezes time to talk to Five.  Five agrees to take an office job with the Commission as long as his siblings can survive.  Then he disappears, and sure enough, Klaus, Diego, and Luther get away from the heavily-armed Hazel and Cha-Cha.

But then there’s Allison looking into Vanya’s new boyfriend.  She may be right to distrust the guy.  He’s got, like, no records anyway, and Vanya, she doesn’t care because for once someone actually seems like and accept her.  She dumped her meds, wins first chair for her orchestra, and starts doing…something.  Does Vanya have powers of her own?  What was it?  I don’t know.  There was a shimmer in the air when she and Leonard were having some celebratory good times later.  That shimmer floated up, past the recent corpse in Leonard’s attic (uh, is that the former first chair?), and out to the Hargreeves house where Pogo has turned Grace back on with the instructions not to tell the children…something.

OK, I read the comic.  I know full well Vanya has powers.

This is going to get worse, isn’t it?