Simpsons Did It!: “Bart’s Not Dead”

Hey, look what feature came back!

I mean, I was probably going to continue the various Simpsons write-ups because…well, I did so many I might as well try and finish.  Why wait until Tuesday for this to post?  Maybe I didn’t see it Sunday night, Jimmy!

Anyway, we’re back for another episode of The Simpsons to interrupt the Doctor Who weekday stuff for now.

After 30 seasons, it does make sense that we open on a school assembly that, as expected, no one is enjoying.  But when Lisa comes in to play a sad song as accompanied by Milhouse doing a sad dance, the bullies led by Jimbo dare Bart to hit the fire alarm.  And Bart…declines.  Why doesn’t Bart accept a dare?  Well, it’s Lisa and she has enough problems.  It’s almost sweet.  Almost.

As it is, Bart’s not accepting the dare becomes big news, calling him to Skinner’s office to see his parents.  Marge is proud of him.  Homer?  Not really, no.  He’ll fake it otherwise for his wife, but Homer believes you should always accept a dare, no matter what it is.  Grampa backs Homer up since Grampa had Homer on a dare, a statement that explains oh so much about those two.  As such, Bart has to accept a dare from the bullies.  They opt to dare him to jump off a really high dam since that wouldn’t require a lifetime of caring for a monkey.  Don’t ask.  Homer is dumping nuclear waste nearby and sees Bart about to jump and realizes he made a mistake and would do something about stopping Bart if Lenny didn’t dare Homer not to save his kid.  Then Lenny reveals he was kidding and Homer rushes off to catch Bart.

Bart hits the concrete the bullies are standing on instead because Homer is too slow and the dare was stupid.

Fortunately, Bart will be fine.  He apparently has enough of Homer’s genetics to survive a fall.  Now, while Marge is upset about Bart accepting dangerous dares, Homer also knows he’ll get in trouble if Bart tells the truth.  Fortunately, Bart tells a lie:  he said died and had temporarily gone to Heaven where he even saw Grandpa Bouvier.  What proof did Bart have?  Grandpa Bouvier called Homer an idiot, and Marge believes that is something only her father would say, showing how much she’s been paying attention to her family all this time.

So, Bart saw Jesus now?  Well, people believe it.  Like Ned Flanders.  And then some Christian movie producers come by.  These guys make successful movies about being a Christian, and if you ask them about giving the profits to the Church…well, they look a little nervous about that.  Anyway, three of them, voiced by series occasional regular Kevin Michael Richardson plus guest stars Dave Attell and Pete Holmes, have some ideas.  These guys want to make Bart’s story into a movie, and Homer wants to write and direct, but then Bart says Jesus wants Flanders to help with the writing to Homer’s dismay.

Now, an astute observer would see Bart’s lies are getting a little out of hand and are sure to cause problems if he’s ever caught.  Fortunately, there are no astute observers nearby except for Lisa, and she opts to say nothing for now due to the whole “didn’t pull a fire alarm during her song” thing.  But she does warn about how continued lying just makes things worse, and then I wonder if she’s still a Buddhist.  I think she is.

But as Homer and Flanders end up casting guest stars Emily Deschanel as Marge (she’s good enough to fool Homer, but then we learn Marge and Emily don’t get along) and some singer guy from Hamilton named Jonathan Groff as Bart (yes, he sings), we then cut to…Gal Gadot as Lisa?!?!

I am a bit baffled by this one.  How big a budget do they have to pull in Wonder Woman, especially since Homer says he falls asleep whenever he sees the DC logo but still wants to see if Gadot can use the Golden Lasso to force Gene Hackman to play Homer (she can’t).  But isn’t Gal Gadot Israeli and as a result probably Jewish?  Why is she in a Christian movie?

I am overthinking this show.

By the by, Gadot’s Lisa explains she doesn’t sing, which makes Lisa mad when she sees it, but didn’t Homer and Flanders right the script?  Why get mad at Bart?

Anyway, the movie is a huge success, and then Bart has a bad dream of going to heaven and getting beat up by Grandpa Bouvier and Jesus.  So, he tells Marge the truth, somehow everyone else learns the truth, Homer has a speech at a press conference about how boys do things and he’s just trying to be a good father, and he’s giving up all the profits, so everyone is off the hook.  Heck, Bart even privately credits Lisa for being the smartest person he knows and moral to boot, but then the real miracle is the pair fall off the roof and land in a pile of raked up leaves, meaning Homer did his chores.

And in the future, Bart does get into Heaven.  He sees Gal Gadot over in Jewish Heaven because, she says, she’s so cool she can visit either (still confused on my end), and Homer is leaving Christian Heaven since Flanders is running activities and Hindu Heaven will reincarnate him as a turtle.

Homer seems like a very happy turtle.  We’ll have the Doctor back tomorrow.  He would not like to come back as a turtle.