Tom and Jimmy have accepted the mission of rewatching the Mission: Impossible films prior to the release of Mission: Impossible Fallout. Actually in Tom’s case, he is enjoying them all outside of the first film for the first time. Let’s see what the two amigos thought of Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation.
tomk: Mission: Impossible 5 The Rogue Nation Gambit
OK, this one didn’t waste any time.
You know, I am starting to think Rebecca Ferguson is kicking more ass than Tom Cruise this time around.
And she may have just betrayed him.,
OK, that was pretty good, even if I knew from trailers for the next one that Evil English Steve Jobs was going to survive the movie.
jimmy: Better than I remember, but I still like Ghost Protocol better.
Ferguson is stunning.
tomk: I agree. Can she take over the franchise?
jimmy: I guess we’ll find out soon.
tomk: Remember when there were rumors she was going to be Captain Marvel?
Some people will believe any rumors.
jimmy: I think Larsen will be fine, but I can see Ferguson do it justice as well. Either way, we know Jenny would have hated the casting…and then never shut up about how great she is going to be as Shazam…I mean Captain Marvel.
jimmy: Not that guy. No one would ever make a movie about him.
OK, now that we have sufficiently angered Jenny enough to work for Solomon Lane…
I might as well call him by his real name. Evil English Steve Jobs is too long.
jimmy: What did you think of him? I don’t know the actor but his whole “weird voice”, face that almost seemed disfigured thing he had going on was off putting. And I think he’s as close to a Bond villain as we’ve had on the series.
tomk: The off-putting thing worked since he was the villain.
It suggests he’s an anti-Hunt.
And considering Tom Cruise’s own face is a little off-putting if you notice his nose and the center of his smile don’t line up, it works even better.
jimmy: But why? It’s like Sam Jackson having a lisp in Kingsman. Like, who decided the villain needed that?
tomk: Not Alfred Hitchcock. That’s a really old trope Hitchcock criticized by pointing out that when you have an obvious villain, people will avoid him because he’s an obvious villain.
jimmy: If anything, I found it made him less scary and menacing. The guy sounds like he breathes helium, how am I supposed to take him seriously?
tomk: You take the series with Scooby Doo masks seriously?
They used the masks effectively in this one…even if one was a “dream sequence”.
tomk: True. And the masks almost always work if they don’t overdo it. Heck, the dream sequence mask looked a lot like Simon Pegg anyway.
jimmy: Kinda like some of the masks still looking like Ethan at times.
tomk: Well, when you don’t want to use another actor, just slap some latex on a guy.
jimmy: It’s not often those “explain the plan in the present and show it taking place in the future” type of scenes aren’t showing what actually happens.
tomk: That plan would have involved less drowning.
jimmy: I think Mr. Always Wants To Do His Own Stunts almost drowned himself a few times shooting those scenes.
tomk: That can cause brain damage. He’s a Scientologist, so I may not be able to tell the difference.
jimmy: Haha. True enough.
tomk: And we went a whole movie without mentioning his wife, so I am guessing that almost dying caused Ethan some brain damage.
He should have gone to Miracle Max first.
jimmy: That wife was forgotten the minute Rebecca Ferguson showed up.
tomk: By the viewers or by Ethan?
jimmy: Especially the viewers. But especially Ethan.
tomk: That must be why he asked Luther to keep an eye on her later. She’s a superagent and he asked a computer nerd to watch her.
jimmy: And he did exactly the job you’d expect.
tomk: I mean, we all expect a Ving Rhames character to be a badass, but he’s just a computer hacker who hasn’t even gotten to do any break-in like Benjy.
jimmy: It begs the question…why are there two hackers on the team?
tomk: Why aren’t there two hackers on ours?
jimmy: Finding just one to work with Watson is a chore in and of itself.
tomk: See we should send Watson down into the water cooling system without an air supply and then have him drive a car when he almost drowns. Then we can get a hacker or two.
jimmy: And maybe one less Watson.
tomk: There’s always a trade off.
jimmy: That’s like trading for Jordan and also getting 9 first round picks.
tomk: I mean, Ethan was stumbling around like a brain damaged drunk after he got revived, and he’s in movie hero secret agent shape.
Imagine what it would do to someone like us!
jimmy: Speak for yourself!
…I would have died jumping into the thing in the first place.
tomk: I can’t swim. I wouldn’t have even jumped.
jimmy: I can swim and I wouldn’t have jumped. We wouldn’t make great spies.
tomk: We wouldn’t get caught. We might be better than that.
jimmy: I would have been Emilio Estevez in the first one.
tomk: Appearing in your last big budget movie role?
jimmy: Haha. First and last.
jimmy: We’ll get to grades later, but how did this one hold up for you compared to the last one?
tomk: I really liked it. It wasn’t quite as good as Ghost Nation, and Ethan being “disavowed” in one form or another is getting a little predictable, but it really worked.
jimmy: Agreed. I think I liked it better on second viewing. Maybe my expectations were more reasonable (and lower) this time around.
tomk: Maybe don’t use Jeremy Renner as quite so much of a sideline observer. That’s his MCU role.
jimmy: Renner’s a good addition to the franchise. Can play a similar role as Cruise so that he doesn’t have to do EVERYTHING. It also gives them a legit liaison since Cruise spends more time disavowed or on the run then he does most anything else.
tomk: Ferguson also makes a credible extra Cruise.
jimmy: Yes. I could just watch her in that yellow dress for two hours and call it a night.
Oh, yeah, and all the kick ass spy stuff she does too.
tomk: Jenny will be along to talk to you in a few minutes.
jimmy: I have to have that conversation with HR again don’t I?
tomk: If you’re lucky, Emilio.
jimmy: The series has almost turned into Fast and Furious in that they hinge on some key set action pieces that up the ante…and possibly ridiculousness in each film. The opening with him hanging onto the plane and “jumping” out with the poison was impressive though.
tomk: Considering that stunt was the one they kept advertising, I was surprised it was so early in the film.
jimmy: That’s probaly why it was used so early/advertised so much. I think I saw that entire scene as a “sneak peak” in front of a different movie.
tomk: Well, aside from being an impressive stunt, it really doesn’t do anything for the story
jimmy: I thought that too, but the canisters he steals do lead them towards the Syndicate.
tomk: If Evil Steve Jobs had just left the record store clerk alone, they wouldn’t have.
jimmy: Poor hot record store clerk.
tomk: She wasn’t played by a Swedish enough actress to survive the movie.
jimmy: She was only 1/4 Swedish. Not too shabby.
tomk: Well, we know what Jimmy likes.
Some Swedish fish candies, obviously.
jimmy: I do enjoy Swedish fish.
tomk: As much as you like trapping arrogant villains in bulletproof glass boxes?
jimmy: Almost. And if Evil Steve Jobs was firing into that bulletproof glass…wouldn’t the bullets be ricocheting everywhere? I think the first one does actually…
tomk: No one ever said that evil geniuses are very bright.
jimmy: So now we’ve got the Syndicate, Evil Steve Jobs and Rebecca Ferguson added to the mix. A Benji who may not want to do any more field work. A budding bromance between Hawkeye and Marsellus. And a new boss who keeps calling everyone “Lemon”. What else can we add about this series of films where the impossible mission seems to be maintaining a lengthy chat about them?
tomk: That British Intelligence sucks at creating their own?
jimmy: It seems like they all suck.
tomk: This is what happens when you put your covert spy organization together using Groupons.
tomk: And that’s how we check to see if Ryan reads this.
jimmy: Not likely. Though he does love these movies.
tomk: No one comes to chat with us anymore. They’ll be left out if we chat those modern cult classics I suggested for next month.
jimmy: Well…shall we grade?
tomk: Sure. 9 out of 10 Baldwin Promotions Across Agencies.
jimmy: That’s my first instinct too, but I will go 8.5 yellow dresses out of 10, just because Ghost Protocol should be the highest ranked one.
tomk: I agree, but this one was really close.
jimmy: It was good.
So, I guess that concludes our mission. Any final thoughts? Seemed like you’ve enjoyed them.
tomk: I chose to accept them.
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