American Horror Story “Halloween (Part One)”

Man, it’s like nobody can have a good time at the Murder House!

So, we open with a flashback to 2010 when a gay couple, Chad (Zachary Quinto) and Patrick (Teddy Sears), called the house home.  And…they aren’t getting along.  Fitness buff Patrick is screwing around at the gym, and blatant stereotype Chad is trying to get the place set up just right for Halloween.  The two have all their money tied up in the house, and unless they can sell the place, they’re both stuck there.

Of course, this is the Murder House.  They might get stuck there anyway.  After Patrick leaves to, among other things, get a costume, Chad mistakes the Rubber Man for Patrick and the Rubber Man kills him.  Then Patrick comes home and…cue opening credits.

But now in the…present?  What year is this?  Anyhoo, it’s Halloween, the night when ghosts can roam free.  Violet finally has a date with Tate, Moira requests the night off to visit her mother, and Ben and Vivien agree to hire some, er, fluffers to make their house look better.  And who shows up to do it?  A still-bickering Chad and Patrick.  Their best advice:  knock down the gazebo that Ben apparently built in a day or so.  You know, the one Hayden is buried under.

And then we see Patrick hit (unsuccessfully) on Ben, Chad recommend Vivien check the phone records, and then Chad snap at both of the Harmons to get out of his house.

Really, these people are dense.

This being a creepy night on an allegedly creepy show, let’s see what we learn.  Tate tells Violet more about the Montgomeries.  It seems an angry boyfriend discovered his girlfriend going there for an illegal abortion and got revenge by kidnapping the Montgomeries’ baby, Thaddeus, and dismembering it.  And then Dr. Charles goes all Frankenstein on the corpse.  Plus, that thing might still be living in the house if you ask Tate.  Violet think he’s full of it, but something killed those twins, and they egged the house earlier.

Moira actually does visit her mother, a very old woman who dies during the visit and asks her daughter to move onto the next life with her, but Moira says she can’t.  It’s sad.

Burnt Larry is demanding his money.  Ben won’t give it to him.  Vivien does ask about the calls, but that leads to stomach pain, which leads to a trip to the emergency room and Violet being told to stay inside and not answer the door.  That means not answering for angry Burnt Larry.  It means not answering for Addie who got Constance to let her go out as a “pretty lady” (a rubber mask of what Addie’s face would probably be without Down’s Syndrome).  Then things go tragic.

The ultrasound tech at the hospital passes out while looking at Vivien.

Addie gets hit by a car and dies just off the property despite her mother’s best efforts to get her onto the lawn.

And Ben and Vivien are arguing again, but Ben answers the door to see…a dirt-covered Hayden.

And that’s part one.