June 16, 2024

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Watson Reviews: PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING (Spoiler Free)

My plan was to wait to see this movie when I was in Japan. I was hoping the dialogue would be dubbed so I wouldn't understand the dialogue.

My plan was to wait to see this movie when I was in Japan. I thought it would be cool to see a giant mecha movie in the country that really originated the genre. Plus, I was hoping the dialogue would be dubbed so I wouldn’t understand the dialogue. The script in the original was so bad, I walked out of it.

I always found something better to do in Tokyo than see a movie, so here I am seeing in in the U.S. Sadly, I had to listen to the dialogue in English…

WHAT IT’S ABOUT:

Pacific Rim: Uprising, not to be confused with Pacific Rimming: Upskirting, picks up ten years after the original Guillermo del Toro film.

The portals that allowed the Kaiju through to our dimension have been closed and the world is rebuilding. The Jaeger pilots are still around but the world is getting a little complacent as a sense of normalcy resumes.

Jake Pentecost, the son of Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba from the original film), has washed out of the military and is a petty criminal, illegally scavenging Old Jaeger parts.

When he is arrested, he faces the choice of going to jail or serving in the military. He chooses a life of service and winds up serving in an accidental battle against the Soviets alongside Harold Ramis and John Candy.

Oh wait…That was Stripes…

Same plot, but only unintentionally funny…

When a difference of opinion on whether to use drones instead of manned Jaegers, a plot line ripped from the headlines of 2004, an opportunity arises for the Kaiju to strike again.

WHAT WORKED:

  • The big robot fights were pretty. For some that is enough, but if that’s all that is good, and the fight scenes WERE good, it makes for a Michael Bay-esque turd fest.

That’s pretty much it.

WHAT DIDN’T WORK:

  • The fact that I wish I’d seen this in a language where I only know how to say hello and thank you should be telling. Seriously. Any time there weren’t big robots fighting, and given budget and CGI constraints, that’s a lot of the time, this thing goes straight to Hell! The dialogue and characterization is just as bad as the first one. But one thing made it worse…
  • This film has the worst “kid” character since the original Jurassic Park. Straight out of central casting, Amari is the tough as nails, too cool for school, badass. So terrible! Portrayed by, ummm…some kid (who cares), every time she talks the thing that was already straight to Hell goes to a new level Dante never contemplated.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I walked out of the first film. The only reason I stayed for this one is it was really hot in Texas this weekend. The cool AC in the theater was all I cared about.

Overall, I give PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING 3Generic Kid Actors out of 10.