December 7, 2023

Gabbing Geek

Your online community for all things geeky.

Infinity War Death Draft!

The Geeks love Death Drafts.  Having done one for last season's Game of Thrones (and a Dream Team edition too!) the three podcasters and Jonathan (Jenny's husband, but you knew that) decided to weigh in on who we thought would die in the latest Avengers movie.  Here's how it went down as we drafted even while Watson was flying to Asia.  Let us know who you think will win!

The Geeks love Death Drafts.  Having done one for last season’s Game of Thrones (and a Dream Team edition too!) the three podcasters and Jonathan (Jenny’s husband, but you knew that) decided to weigh in on who we thought would die in the latest Avengers movie.  Here’s how it went down as we drafted even while Watson was flying to Asia.  Let us know who you think will win!

ryan:I want to draft so badly.
Which is probably how I will draft. So that works.

watson: Roll for rank. Highest is first and so on. D100
/roll 1d100

Dicebot APP
@watson rolled *11*

watson: There we go.  And…fuck!

ryan: /roll 1d100

Dicebot APP
@ryan rolled *94*

ryan: Yeah

JENNY!!!!!

I wanna kill some MCU characters!!
Ohhhh…bonus points if we say who kills the character??
Oh maybe not because we’ll all just say Thanos. Heh.

jenny: /roll 1d100

Dicebot APP
@jenny rolled *55*

ryan: Okay the order is set. How many picks are we doing, Watson?

ryan: Roll for position, J!
So far we are:
1. Me 94
2. Jenny 55
3. Watson 11

jonathan: /roll 1d100

Dicebot APP
@jonathan rolled *55*

jenny: Tied. God damn it.
We both roll again?
Or just him?
Roll for order?
We roll for 2nd and 3rd position. Watson is still last.
Roll again.
/roll 1d100

Dicebot APP
@jenny rolled *1*

jenny: Fucking hell.
I hate you dice bot.

jonathan: /roll 1d100

Dicebot APP
@jonathan rolled *65*

jenny: Okay new order:

Ryan
Jonathan
Jenny
Watson

ryan: Hahaha

jenny: How many rounds and who is game to draft? (edited)

ryan: Okay. Snake draft. 5 picks each. Score will be 1 point for first death, 2 points for second death, etc. Named characters only.

jenny: What if three people get killed at the same time?
Named where? Imdb?
Or the poster?
Or wiki?

ryan: Named in a previous movie.

jenny: So no new prospects like Adam Warlock

ryan: Ties score the same. Two people die third are worth 3 each. Next death worth 5.
New characters with a name sure. Black Order, Warlock, etc. Yeah you can pick them.

jenny: But they haven’t been named in previous movies. (sorry to be complicated)
But I want to be clear.
So I can win.

ryan: As long as they have a name in the movies.
Random Wakandan #32 doesn’t count.

jenny: Okay. So have to appear in the movie, be named.

ryan: Because fuck that guy.

jenny: Hahaha

jonathan: HE’S A LOVELY MAN!

jenny: Correction, woman.
She was a lovely Dora Milaje

ryan: All Dora Milaje are named.

jenny: Okay, when do we do this? Because I need to make my list.

ryan: Tonight.

jenny: Right now?!

ryan: Once Watson gets on.

jenny: Omg I have no time to prepare!

ryan: YOU’VE HAD YOUR WHOLE LIFE TO PREPARE!!!

jenny: omg, I have sweaty pits now.

ryan: I NEEDS TO KILL SOME MCU CHARACTERS!!!

jenny: Kill them in your mind you fiery beast, you.

ryan: I’ve done that. But I need to kill them in YOUR mind, Jenny.
Bwahahahahaha

watson: On the plane with Wifi. Draft?

ryan: I can. jenny jonathan ??

jonathan: i’m open

ryan: Well let’s start. Gonna take a few days anyway probably.
The first pick is always tricky. Go bold or go safe. Because I’m playing you guys, that’s the same. So my first pic will of course be Captain America.

jonathan: I’m next?
I’m taking Loki

ryan: Good pick.
Think he dies saving Thor? I do.

watson: Jenny?

ryan: Jenny!!! Watson is on a plane and he’s more responsive!!! 🙂

jonathan: I apologize on my wife’s behalf. This behavior is unacceptable.

jenny: I have just finished work you assholes.
The Collector.

watson: I feel like the sports team that didn’t want the #1 pick and was mad when he slipped to them and feels they have to take him.
Tony Stark.

ryan: Two picks, Watson. What’s the second?
I mean, you already made the first bad pick, so please double up with another bad choice.

watson: Hawkeye.
I think he dies very early.
Shit. Now we wait for Jenny AGAIN!

jenny: Heimdal

jonathan: Nebula

watson: Ryan???

ryan: YES!!!! I am very pleased my pick was not taken.
GAMORA!!!
Totally biting it and Nebula takes her place.
For my second pick, I’m also surprised this one wasn’t taken already. Vision.
jonathan back on the clock!

watson: Vision was on my list. If he isn’t “functional” at the end, that counts as dead?

ryan: Yup.

watson: So far we have:

Ryan- Cap, Gamora, Vision
Jonathan- Loki, Nebula
Jenny- The Collector, Heimdal
Watson- Iron Man, Hawkeye

ryan: Everyone has points except Watson.
Oh, since a soul stone is in play, if someone dies but then comes back–points or no?

watson: They have to be dead at the end of the movie.

ryan: K.
Freeze frame scoring.
But if Person A dies (1 point) then Person B dies (2 points) and Person A comes back? No 1 point for Person A…is B still 2 points or down to 1?

watson: Huh?
No. We count the order at the end of the film. First person to die and stay dead is 1 point. Second is 2…
You and your overly complicated rules!!!

ryan: I am paid to think through details that prevent disputes from arising later in the process.
But I do it here for free.
My god you have awful picks Watson. You’re the guy in fantasy football who uses his first two picks on a Kicker and a backup Kicker.

watson: This movie doesn’t land if there aren’t big deaths.

ryan: Totally agree. But Hawkeye??

watson: I think them not putting him on the poster meant he had no future in the MCU.

ryan: Not everyone is on the poster though. Just a lot of people.

watson: People who weren’t members of the original team!

ryan: True.
I’m really wondering if Ant-Man and the Wasp takes place before IW. How in the world could it take place after??

jonathan: James “War Machine” Rhodes

ryan: Boo! That heart string was already played.

jonathan: Play it again, Sam

ryan: Sure, they turn him from a cripple to a hero again just to kill him?

jonathan: I’ve already established that i think NOBODY is dead at the end of this.

ryan: Yes which is why I question your participation in this draft in the first place!

jonathan: I’m hedging!

ryan: Coward!

watson: Jenny next?

jonathan: I’m picking based on the alternate version where Disney murders beloved characters

ryan: The Rogue One cut.

watson: So far we have:

Ryan- Cap, Gamora, Vision
Jonathan- Loki, Nebula, Iron Patriot/Rhodey
Jenny- The Collector, Heimdal
Watson- Iron Man, Hawkeye

jenny: Wong

watson: Mother fucking Wong? No way! Bad pick. Booooooo!!!!
My turn?

jenny: Yep. Eat it.

watson: Two. Picks. Ebony Maw.
Pepper Potts

jenny: Wanda

watson: So far we have:

Ryan- Cap, Gamora, Vision
Jonathan- Loki, Nebula, Iron Patriot/Rhodey
Jenny- The Collector, Heimdal, Wong, Scarlet Witch
Watson- Iron Man, Hawkeye, Ebony Maw, Pepper Potts
Jonathan!

jonathan: Drax

watson: Ryan! Last two picks!

ryan: Cull Obsidian.
And in a giant fuck you to Sony, Spider-Man.

jenny: That will NEVER happen.

watson: That was a BAD pick.
Worst pick of the draft.

jenny: Ryan might be drunk.

watson: Should have just picked Wonder Woman and be done with it.

ryan: Says the man with no points on the board.

jonathan: Proxima Midnight

ryan: You worry about your scorecard travelman

watson: I have all the points!
Jenny? Last pick!!!

jenny: Corvus Glaive

watson: I have two ideas. I am going with the ultimate fuck you to Ryan and go with Laura Barton.
There is NO REASON for Linda Cardellini to be in the cast except to die.

jenny: I think I have a solid draft. Eh fellas?!

watson: No. Your draft is shit, Jenny.

jenny: Haha, dude, your draft is shit.
Ryan and Jonathan agree.

watson: So far we have:

Ryan- Cap, Gamora, Vision, Chill Obsidian, (inexplicably) Spider-Man
Jonathan- Loki, Nebula, Iron Patriot/Rhodey, Drax, Proxima Midnight
Jenny- The Collector, Heimdal, Wong, Scarlet Witch, Corvus Glave
Watson- Iron Man, Hawkeye, Ebony Maw, Pepper Potts, Laura Barton (edited)
Don’t need group consensus. My picks are rock solid.

ryan: Watson wins most likely not to score.
In the draft too.

jenny: Your picks are trash.
Let me rephrase.
Watson, your picks are trash.

ryan: Yeah gives me shit on Spidey when he picked Iron Man in the FIRST ROUND!!

jenny: I fixed my statement.

jonathan: He’s got a point

watson: Why is Cap more likely than Iron Man?

ryan: Because Cap dies EVERY major event in marvel books.
That’s how everyone knows when a new big event is about to start. Oh is Cap back, cool new event.

jonathan: Sad but true

jenny: I hate to say it, cap was a solid pick

watson: This isn’t a shitty comic. Comics are shit. Just like Jenny’s picks.

jenny: So was nebula.

watson: Yeah…I would have picked him #1

jenny: Go ahead and lash out, it’s the only leverage you have Watson. You will earn nothing with your picks.
Hahaha
Mwaaahahahaha

watson: The minor villain selections, Chill, Corvus, and Maw, are the safest. Proxima.

jenny: Also, fuck Pepper.
I hate that character.
I kinda hope you get points for that.

watson: So she would be a good Death…

jenny: That’s how much I hate pepper.

watson: Hehehehe. It’s like the opposite of Brianne of Tarth.

jenny: Yeah, I’m rooting for that one.

ryan: Nebula is taking Gamora’s place. That’s why star-lord is so pissed in the preview. Because Gamora dies.

jenny: Ryan, that logic for Gamora is thin, even for you.

watson: I don’t think any of the major characters who still have an active franchise (GotG, Dr Strange, Ant-Man, Spider-Man) are in danger.

jenny: Same, but side pieces are out.
Bye Pepper.

watson: Yeah…let’s kill off one of our FEW strong female leads in Gamora…

jonathan: Who’s a famous action actress

ryan: Gamora is so toast. I’ll do a side coffee bet on just her Jenny.

watson: None of us picked Thanos.

jonathan: He’s in the cast listing for Avengers 4

watson: We are all 100% sure that the next Avengers is part 2!

ryan: All of the groups are going to have a death to avenge. That’s why they’ll all be Avengers by the end.

jenny: I really think Collector is a good pick. And Heimdal. I think I have a chance with Wanda (to protect Vision when the stone is removed), and Corvus Glaive in battle. Wong is my only hail Mary.

ryan: Collector is very good. Heimdall is 50/50.

watson: I don’t trust Cast listings. I’ll bet every one of these folks have a chance to show up!

jenny: So, if they die in this movie, it counts.

jonathan: If only you knew what i know…

watson: Corvus Glaive is your only good pick.

jenny: What if they come back in the final movie?

watson: End of THIS movie.

jenny: You are drunk Watson, go home.
Got it.

watson: Given the story of Infinity War, a lot of deaths could be reversed.
Infinity Gauntlet rather.

jonathan: If you want some pretty heavy spoilers, check out the set photos for Av4

jenny: This is why I have a chance with Wong

watson: Head fakes!!!!
Remember when Mark Hamill did “reshoots” at the studios in Cherrywood for Force Awakens.

jonathan: Oh no. It’s not who’s there but how they look.

ryan: You’ve heard about the time stone theory for Infinity War?

watson: Headfakes!!!!

jenny: Myeeeesh

watson: Did you guys read what Peter Dinklage said?
“Jenny’s picks are shit!”

jenny: Sigh.

ryan: “And she’ll still beat Watson by 3 points.”

jenny: Didn’t you both learn from our GoT draft, I always win…

watson: This game will likely be decided based on the order the minor villains die…

ryan: Watch my big Spidey points seal the deal.

watson: I think the Bartons die early. Ebony Maw dies at the end.

ryan: You think Thanos shows how bad ass he is by killing the two weakest MCU characters?
He killed the Burtons. HE CAN’T BE STOPPED!!!!!

watson: His monsters do it.
To establish the “the danger is real” thing.

ryan: Yeah. Because if the Burtons die we’re all in trouble. Or nobody but the Burtons were in trouble.

watson: I know you are calling the the wrong name just to piss me off. Weak strategy, Bryan!

jenny: Collector is definitely first, which doesn’t help me much, which is how Thanos gets 3 of the stones right off the bat

watson: I sent Phil the teams without our names and asked him to rank them.

jenny: And…..?
What did he say?

watson: Waiting.
He said “Jenny’s picks are shit!”
Just kidding.

jenny: Sigh.

ryan: Since we’re already predicting things for the movie, here are some more of mine.
1. Jenny will cry at least twice in the movie.
2. Jonathan will figure out the major events of the movie before it starts. He will tell Jenny. She will cry.
3. Despite being one-dimensional in motivation, Watson will come up with some bullshit reasoning why Thanos was a more interesting villain than Killmonger. Nobody will agree with him.
4. Tom will accuse everyone of nitpicking the movie. Then he will come up with the pickiest of nits as to why he didn’t think the movie was perfect.
5. By the time Jimmy sees the movie we will have said everything he wanted to say so he will just agree with everyone. Except he will want more Spidey.

jenny: OMG 100%
There is no debating that.
Solid picks.

watson: Except that Jenny also didn’t like Killmonger either.

ryan: Other prediction: Watson is even now trying to figure out how he can make my prediction about him not true while still refusing to admit that Killmonger rocked.

watson: She just folded to peer pressure.

jonathan: All of those predictions are RIDICULOUS
…ly spot on

watson: I’ve already seen more interesting material from Thanos in post-credit scenes than a whole Killmonger performance.

jenny: No, I took away my white female privilege and understood the character, unlike your cracker ass.

watson: Couldn’t take the teasing. Weak…

jenny: Whaaaat?! That was teasing!
OMG, where is Richard Pryor when you need him?

ryan: Dead.

watson: I went the other way. I only thought he was mediocre. Just to piss off Ryan and Jonathan, I started bagging on him.

ryan: Doesn’t piss me off. Makes me sad.
Are you still in the air Watson?

jenny: M’Baku is coming for you.

watson: For about 6 more hours.
M’Baku was a GREAT character.

ryan: Are you over Alaska?

watson: Russia

ryan: And you still have wifi? Damn.

watson: I expect to have it the whole flight. Why wouldn’t I?

ryan: When I flew to China our WiFi stopped when we left Alaska.

 

watson: For your anniversary?

ryan: No for Sara’s 40th.

watson: That’s right. I knew it was Sara related!!!

 

ryan:
I can’t wait for Watson’s jet lag to wear off and then he realizes who he picked. “Wait, I drafted THEM?!?!”

watson: Phil is going to rank in the morning but early evaluation was:

quick thoughts: great pick, Loki
Poor Gamora, dark Laura Barton

ryan: Are those individual picks or the teams?
His comments, I mean.

watson: Individual
Hasn’t sent his rankings yet

ryan: By the way, I think of all the people we didn’t name, the most likely to die is W’Kabi.

watson: I almost drafted him but feel like they wouldn’t want to kill a Black Panther character in someone else’s franchise.
Of course, they filmed this before they knew how important and popular BP would be.

watson: Phil ranked my team first, Ryan’s second (even with two of the worst picks), and the Newmans tied for last.

ryan: Ugh. I’m disgraced by his ranking of my team.

watson: Said you would have dominated it without the “cute” pick of Spidey.
I tend to agree. All the others could come true.

jonathan: Phil’s opinion is nonsense

ryan: I think his GoT dream team scored 0 points.

jenny: Phil is the epitome of nonsense.
Just you watch…. I shall win this death draft, like I have won them before – and Phill will have to bow to the glory that is JENNY NEWMAN INFINITY MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA

jonathan: you had a bunch of caffeine this afternoon, didn’t you?

ryan: She’s riding the post-training adrenaline wave.

jenny: ^Ryan knows me too well

ryan: And I *just* saw you

jenny: I was well behaved.

ryan: Your pupils were dilated. You did a good job controlling the shakes.
Either that or you were doing cocaine in the bathroom.

jenny: I’ve had practice.
How did you know?
j/k
Jonathan, I only had one coffee this morning, you’ll be safe when we get home.

watson: I need coffee. I haven’t slept more than two to three hours a night since I got here.

ryan: Your subconscious is punishing you for your draft picks.
“Oh, you think Iron Man is going to die with your first pick? Well let me kill off your sense of being well-rested you tool!”

jenny: hahaha – that’s what you get Watson for shitty picks