April 18, 2024

Gabbing Geek

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Geek Review: The Hurricane Heist

Two brothers and a treasury agent try to stop a $600 million theft in the middle of a hurricane. That's pretty much all you need to know.

I saw the trailer for The Hurricane Heist a few weeks ago, and even before it advertised it came from director Rob Cohen of xXx and the first Fast the the Furious movie, one thing was blatantly obvious:  it was going to be stupid as hell.

But there’s good, fun stupid, and then there’s dull, really stupid, stupid.  Which was this?

Well, it wasn’t fun stupid.  I wouldn’t call it dull, but it wasn’t all that fun.

During a massive, perhaps unprecedented hurricane, thieves led by a disgruntled Treasury agent try to rob a Treasury vault in Gulfport, Alabama of $600 million that is about to be shredded as it’s old money.

This is the second heist movie I have seen this year where thieves attempt to steal old bills before they are shredded.

As it is, there are some obstacles in the form of disgraced Treasury agent Casey (Lost‘s Maggie Grace), who has just reset the code to the vault, making the work done by a romantic pair of hackers useless.  Casey, the only one to knows the new code, manages to escape with the help of two brothers, a pair of local good ol’ boys played by Australian Ryan Kwanten (recycling his Southern accent from True Blood) and English Toby Kebbell.  Kwanten’s older brother Breeze is a repairman who did a stint in the military.  Kebbell’s Will is a meteorologist who studies hurricanes and fears them after a bad one killed the boys’ father during their childhoods.

Overall, this is a very average action flick, though try and figure out the last thirty seconds if you can because part of it didn’t make much sense to me.  The closest the movie comes to a big male action star is Kebbell, sprouting off facts about big storms and using that knowledge to his advantage in key moments and, at one point, making a quick observation about climate change.  There were some things I found a bit different, namely how initially the main villain is reluctant to use lethal force, that there are a pair of brothers on the bad guy side, and that after spending most of the movie together, there isn’t so much of a hint of a romance between Casey and Will.  Seriously on that last one:  how often do these movies not have some kind of a romantic subplot?  Still, this movie was mostly kinda dumb.  Maybe worth a viewing on basic cable in the future since there wasn’t much to it that would need to be edited for content.  You should be able to see most every twist coming before it happens.  Six out of ten lethal hub caps.