Simpsons Did It!: “Adventures In Baby-Getting”

NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon has a guest appearance in this episode.  He says hi to Moe as he walks by, and then Barney speculates that the town of Springfield will never see him again.

As far as I know, that is correct.

Marge wants Homer to fix a leaky faucet outside the Simpson house.  She asks him three times over the course of a year.  Why is Homer trying to lounge around in his hammock in the winter?  I don’t know.  But his negligence causes the water to drip down underground until it erodes the foundation of the town and causes a sinkhole.  Marge is driving the kids somewhere when her car goes down, and fortunately she has a sinkhole emergency kit in the glove box.

But as the hole grows, the town actually does something about it by filling in the hole with the Springfield Tire Fire and paving over it.  Now out a car, Marge has to go buy a new one and something doesn’t seem quite right about it.  Nothing the mechanic can find seems wrong, but he understands the mind of a woman without being qualified to do so and figures there’s something else bothering Marge.  Something…emotional.  Sure, he can give Homer a loaner wife and check Marge overnight, but that’s creepy on too many levels for Homer to notice so he simply declines and hugs the most honest mechanic he’s ever met.

What is bothering Marge?  The car’s a bit small, and the kids are a bit snug in the backseat…wait, that’s it.  Marge identifies as a mother, and if she drives this car, she can never have another baby.  And now she wants a fourth kid.

Does Homer?  Not really, but he also doesn’t want to upset Marge and he will get some sex out of this.  So, he says what he figures she wants to hear and even speculates she might have twins.  What could go wrong there?

He could have baby versions of Patty and Selma…

Does no one remember Homer is sterile because of the Nuclear Plant?  He even got an award for that!

While all that is going on, Bart gets curious about Lisa sneaking off when the only clue is the handwritten sentence “The five boxing wizards jump quickly.” Actually, first Milhouse gets curious, but that gets to Bart, and he just wants to know why Lisa disappears every Tuesday and Thursday after school.  As such, he gathers a team to know her best, starting with Milhouse and Lisa’s exes Nelson and Ralph.  That just gets them lost in a neighborhood where the scariest thing is one Father Mike.  Then they bring Principal Skinner in, who recognizes the type of paper used as something from his predecessor, and then for some reason they recruit Otto.  Where was Lisa?  At the former principal’s house learning to write in cursive.  Skinner at least approves of that.

But back to Marge and Homer…Marge eventually learns Homer’s sterile (again), but Homer used to deposit sperm at the Shelbyville Sperm Bank, so maybe there’s some there.  Off the two go, and Homer does distract Marge for a day with couples fun at a Christmas ornament museum, but when he finally fesses up at the Eskimo-themed hotel that night, Marge is furious and kicks him out.  He’s truly in the Dog House…that being the hotel across the street.  But Homer sees a man with four children and changes his mind, so off the pair go only to find that someone took the last dose of Homer’s sperm.  That couple gladly gives it up when they get one look at Homer, but then Marge changes her mind.  Why?  Well, it seems there are an awful lot of babies that look like Homer in Shelbyville.  The Sperm Back has pictures of them.  Heck, one is a set of septuplets.

That actually gets Marge to thinking there’s enough of Homer in the world.  And maybe she remembered Maggie is still a baby no matter what she said earlier in the episode.

So, no babies, but Lisa learned cursive handwriting.  That must count for something.